The Lestrange Legacy
by Vivien Lestrange
Summary: Vivien has always dreamed about a secret world of magic. When she and her friend Mandy are admitted to a magical school called Hogwarts, she's thrilled. Vivien soon discovers that she's the child of an ancient magical family and stumbles over things that belong to nightmares rather than daydreams.
1. Chapter 1 Muggle School's Finished

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter and no money is being made.

**AN:** That's my take on the rather popular plotline about Bellatrix' daughter. The idea's very old, actually from the time between GoF and OotP but I tried to adept it to the new stuff. For anyone who's Mary Sue-alarm is going off due to the OC bearing my nickname: The character actually came first and I used the name for my HP-related internet presence later. I didn't really wish to change it now for reasons that might become clear in the story.

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**_The Lestrange Legacy_  
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**Muggle School's Finished**

Our last day in primary school.

One by one we were being called to the front of the room so we could get our school certificates. Our classmates' parents were sitting in the back of the room. Their children could join them after receiving their certificate.

Mandy clicked her fingers nervously.

"What are you so nervous about? I asked her in a whisper. "We know what marks we're going to get."

Neither Mandy nor I had anything to worry about. We did well in class. "You have a bit of a disadvantage but if you work hard, you will be successful despite of it," Mrs Richards always told us. She was quite strict but we both believed her that.

"Brocklehurst, Mandy," our teacher Mrs Smith called. Mandy stepped to the front and received her certificate as well as a special prize for her math achievements. I smiled slightly. I had known this before.

The parents were clapping politely, some of them whispering to each other. They probably weren't too happy about that. A child from St-Catherine's Orphanage received the math prize, not one of their own. Some of those parents even told their children not to go anywhere near us. We might have contagious diseases or contact to dangerous people they said.

We had gotten used to it.

When Mandy returned to her seat next to mine, tears were shining in her eyes. "Mum and Dad would have been so proud if they knew," she said, sobbing.

I put an arm around her. "I'm sure they are proud," I whispered. "Remember what Ms Thomson said, they're watching you from where they are now."

"I'd rather have them here," Mandy said.

"I know."

Sometimes, I really wasn't sure which one of us was better off. Mandy had known her parents and knew that they had loved her but she had to deal with losing them.

I had simply been left on the door of the orphanage when I was almost three years old with nothing but a note tied around my neck with my name on it. No one knew where I came from or who my parents were. Maybe a teenage mother who had gotten tired of her responsibility or a drug-addicted prostitute.

At least, I wasn't missing anyone this way.

I was all alone.

On days like this one it hurt most.

"Lestrange, Vivien," Mrs Smith called.

I walked up to her, the parents in the back of the room whispering to each other. I could guess why. My last name was a bit unusual to say the least.

"Well done, Vivien," Mrs Smith said with a smile as she handed me the certificate. I looked through it. The marks were pretty good but not prize-worthy.

"Thank you, Mrs Smith," I said before returning to Mandy.

Mrs Smith gave a short speech and wished us good luck at our new schools. After that we were free to leave. Another parentless boy joined us on the way to the door. Andy's parents were both in prison. They had robbed a bank and shot a police officer. He wasn't dead but had turned into a nursing case who couldn't even leave his bed anymore.

Andy had had to endure plenty of nasty talk from other children and parents when this story had became known. As if this was his fault.

He didn't believe that his parents were evil either. They had needed the money and only shot at the police officer because he had wanted to arrest them. I wasn't telling Andy but I still thought that robbing a bank was wrong. If you needed money, you should work to earn it. Mrs Richards always told us that as well.

"Let's get away quickly," Andy said. He wasn't keen on meeting the other parents.

"We have to wait for Aurora," Mandy told him.

Aurora was a year younger than us and staying in the same room. When I had heard someone say her name for the first time, I totally freaked out. I had no idea why, but I was still really uncomfortable if someone called her name loudly. It made me think of another word, Auror, or Aurors, or something. This didn't make any sense because Auror wasn't even a word but it still happened to me. No idea why.

"Oh no," Mandy said with a sigh. "Aurora's in trouble."

The blond girl had been cornered by a group of four boys. Two of them were rather big. They pushed her around and made fun of her unfashionable clothes.

"Leave her alone!" I called.

The three of us walked over to them.

The largest boy grinned. "Why should I do what you tell me?"

"Four on one is for cowards," Mandy said. "Come on, Aurora."

Aurora tried to get away from the boys but one of them grabbed her by the arm and tried to twist it around. He didn't get far though. A few seconds later, the boy was the one screaming in pain. He held onto his hand as if it had been burned.

Aurora got herself free and joined us.

Mandy and I shared a meaningful look. This kind of thing happened around us rather frequently. I wasn't quite sure if it had been me or her this time. Things tended to get burned around Mandy, people who annoyed me were simply feeling pain. Or if someone I liked was in pain, it would stop and small wounds would close.

"If I were you, I wouldn't try to mess with us again," I told the boys.

They seemed to agree and trotted off. We had to deal with idiots like these quite often. People without parents were easy targets or so they thought.

No one bothered us anymore on the way back. I was looking forward to secondary school, especially to new subjects like chemistry. I wasn't quite sure why, but I really liked the idea of mixing substances to create new ones with different colours and smells.

The fact that it would take a while until everyone knew that they had to leave us alone was bothering me though. I hated those arguments and if I'm supposed to be honest, sometimes, I thought that other people starting to feel pain when I was angry at them was really creepy. I wasn't doing this on purpose and I had no idea how to stop it but this didn't make it any less creepy. It always felt quite useful when I was in such a situation, but afterwards, I tended to feel bad about it.

Mandy quickly noticed my subdued mood though and started to distract me with speculations about our new school. Normal children preferred their holidays but I liked to learn new stuff. Holidays at the orphanage were pretty boring as well. We barely ever went anywhere, not like those wonderful travels some of our classmates were making.

Andy had worries similar to mine. He hoped that people at his new school wouldn't find out about his parents but he probably wouldn't be that lucky. Other people from our old school would come with us after all.

When we reached the orphanage, we met Ms Leakey, my favourite care worker.

"Hello. Did everything go well at school?"

"Yes, it did," I told her.

"Only a little argument at the end. A few boys have attacked Aurora," Mandy added.

I would have preferred to keep this incident quite.

"We sorted it out though."

Ms Leakey turned to Aurora. "Are you alright?"

"Yes. They weren't doing anything too bad. It's okay Ms Leakey."

Aurora knew what "bad" meant. Her father had always beaten her mother and sometimes Aurora herself as well even though she had been only four years old. In the end, he had thrown his wife down a staircase and refused to call an ambulance. She had died.

"Good. You know that you can always come to me if someone is giving you trouble," Ms Leakey said. "I'll do my best to help."

"Thank you," Aurora said.

Ms Leakey turned to me. "Vivien, did you finish the book I gave you."

"Yes. I know I'm supposed to give it back. I'm sorry. It was really good by the way."

Ms Leakey smiled. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'd like to read it again myself though."

"Of course, I'll fetch it right away," I said.

Our room had a window to the playground in the backyard. There was a large tree right in front of our window. I really liked the view. Better than the street at the front.

Mandy had a picture of herself between her parents on her bedside table, Aurora only kept one of her mother.

I had no idea what my parents might look like.

I imagined my mother to look like the picture of Morgan LeFay on the book Ms Leakey had lent me though. That was the real reason why I kept it even though I did like the story. The woman on the book cover had long, black hair and dark robes. She looked proud like a queen.

I knew that my mother had probably been a lost, broken and hurt woman who couldn't care for her child but I still preferred to imagine something different.

Morgan LeFay had totally fascinated me from the first time I had read about her, right after I had learned to read. She was such a powerful woman, skilled in both healing and dark sorcery and I had hated how most stories portrayed her as evil. A fate witches almost always suffered and it had made me sad every time I heard or read it.

Ms Leakey had her own theory about this though. She believed that men had been afraid of powerful women and had therefore turned them evil whenever they turned up in old stories like Morgan or Medea. She gave me books that told these stories in a different way, like the one lying on my bedside table at the moment.

Back when I read about Morgan for the first time, her last name had reminded me of my own. I had started to ask myself, if Lestrange might be a magical name too. I might be a lost or exiled child of the Fey. It would have explained why I had turned up on the doorsteps without anyone knowing anything about me. It would also have explained why I was so different from the others. I used to hope that Morgan or a descendent would come and take me with her to Avalon.

When Mandy had arrived I had stopped thinking things like this. I soon discovered that she was different in the same way I was different. Mandy was the daughter of completely ordinary people though. At this point, I had stopped believing that I was so special. Instead, I had found a friend.

Still, I had never quite lost the belief that there might be a secret world of magic that was different from our own.

I looked at the picture of Aurora's Mum again. Aurora had only been one year older when she came here but she remembered quite well what had happened between her parents. Sometimes, she'd still wake up because she had nightmares about it.

I on the other hand didn't remember anything. At least nothing that was real. My memories were more like wishful thinking.

After reading about Morgan for the first time, I had "remembered" my mother who happened to look just like her telling me her own stories about Morgan while I was lying in my bed in a beautiful room that belonged to a large house. Her story had been about Morgan's old magical world that had been destroyed by traitors.

When Ms Leakey and Mrs Richards had taken us to the countryside and told us about various plants, I "remembered" a man with flaxen hair and grey eyes like my own telling me about plants in a large garden. I even remember his words: "There are plants that heal and plants that harm. Some however do both if you know how to use them."

I had read about plants as much as I could and with some plants, he had really been right.

The third memory was the strangest by far. After listening to a story about witches flying on broomsticks I had remembered a boy in his late teens with freckles and straw-coloured hair who had lifted me on a broomstick and flown through the air with me. If I try hard enough, I can still feel the wind in my hair. I remembered the boy as something like an uncle.

When I had told the counsellor about these memories, he assumed that my parents had been using drugs and even given me some. He suspected that my father had been growing plants for drug production. He had also talked about "magical thinking" as if it was some sort of disease.

I didn't know what to think about it. I was quite aware of the fact that these couldn't be real memories but I still cherished them.

I picked up the book, looked at the cover one last time and returned to Ms Leakey.

"Sorry that it took me so long," I told her. "I was thinking about some things."

"That's alright," Ms Leakey said. "Do you want to tell me what you've been thinking about?"

I shook my head. People didn't understand this, not even Ms Leakey. She believed that Morgan was a representation of the Mother Goddess and that it was normal for a motherless girl to feel drawn to her. I didn't really believe that that was it though.

I wasn't sure if I believed in a Mother Goddess or in Ms Thomson's God. I didn't really want to offend either.

"Thank you for lending me the book," I said and left the office. I wasn't sure if it was only my imagination or if she did give me a worried look.

Back in our room, Mandy and Aurora had started a game of cards. I joined in and soon stopped thinking about my mother and my lack of real memories. It was still better than the things they or Andy had to endure.

Probably.


	2. Chapter 2 Professor McGonagall

**Professor McGonagall**

Our summer holidays started with perfect weather. We went outside right after breakfast and sat on two of the swings. I knew that I was probably too old for this but it was the closest thing to flying I could get.

When Aurora and Andy joined us as well, we started a game of ping-pong. I wasn't completely bad but not very good either. Andy however was brilliant and the two of them won three times in a row. I knew it was only a game but I really didn't like losing all the time.

The fourth game looked better for us though. We might just win this time.

"Mandy, Vivien, Mrs Richards wants you at her office."

Emily, one of the older girls came walking towards us.

I threw the paddle at the table with more force than necessary. Bad moment. That must be a joke. We hadn't done anything wrong and our marks had been good as well. What would she want?

Mandy was thinking the same thing. "Why? We haven't done anything," she said.

Emily shrugged. "I don't think she wants to tell you off. There's a visitor there. Some kind of professor."

I felt a sudden weight in my stomach. What kind of professor? What did he want? Did they want to send us to a psychiatric hospital after all? The counsellor had suggested that back when I had told him about my memories and the strange things that were happening around us. Ms Leakey and Mrs Richards had both disagreed though.

"What does he want? We're not mad," I said.

Mandy gave me a worried look. She too feared that people wouldn't believe us about the things we were seeing sometimes.

Emily shook her head. "You are paranoid, aren't you? As far as I understood, it's about your new school. Some sort of scholarship or something. And the visitor's a she by the way."

Scholarship? Mandy's eyes lit up and I was quite happy about the idea as well. I couldn't really believe it though. Our marks were quite good but that good? Mandy's might be with her math prize but mine? Not really.

We followed Emily towards Mrs Richard's office. I didn't really like going there. She was very strict and often told us off for the things that were happening around us even though we didn't do them on purpose.

The woman who had come to visit reminded me of her right away. Her hair was still dark but she had tied it up as tightly as Mrs Richards did with her own.

"Here you are," Mrs Richards said. "Professor McGonagall, these are Mandy Brocklehurst and Vivien Lestrange. Vivien, Mandy, Professor McGonagall is here to offer you a place at your school."

We shook hands; Professor McGonagall was looking at me very intently. It felt as if she could see far more than just my face. Mandy looked really uncomfortable, when it was her turn.

"Miss Brocklehurst, Miss Lestrange, we've been informed about your extraordinary abilities and we'd like to offer you scholarships at our institution. It's a private boarding school in Scotland which offers an excellent education."

Mandy and I looked at each other. It felt really strange to be called Miss Lestrange, almost like an adult. Would they call me that all the time if I went to this school? I'd certainly get many stares then. I preferred not to mention my last name whenever possible.

"We can really go to this school?" Mandy asked. "A boarding school? We don't have any money or anything though."

"This isn't a problem. The scholarship will provide you with anything you need."

"That's really generous, thank you," I said. I felt proud because I had been selected for something like that but I wasn't really sure if I wanted to go there.

Even at our primary school many people hadn't been too glad about our presence. It would surely be much worse at some fancy boarding school. I didn't like the idea of being some sort of charity case who was pitied and tolerated at best.

"I'd like to discuss a few details with the girls if you don't mind Mrs Richards. Do you have a room we could use?" Professor McGonagall asked.

She didn't want Mrs Richards there, I noticed. This made me suspicious right away. Maybe this entire scholarship thing was some sort of fraud. She hadn't mentioned the name of her school either yet. I shared a look with Mandy. She looked doubtful as well. We'd listen carefully to anything she was telling us and form our own judgement.

"Certainly," Mrs Richards said. "The room right next door. We usually use it for our counselling sessions."

"Very well, thank you," Professor McGonagall said. "Would you two come with me?"

We did and sat down with Professor McGonagall who carefully closed the door behind herself.

I could remember my earlier times here very well. They had believed I was quite mad, I knew that. My discomfort grew worse when I heard Professor McGonagall's question.

"Did you ever experience unusual things happening around you?"

I swallowed hard. Had she lied to us earlier? Was she a psychiatrist after all?

"Yes, there were," Mandy said, looking down at her feet. I tried to give her a look that told her to stop talking but it didn't work. It couldn't when we didn't have eye contact.

"Sometimes, things just catch fire around me. Once, in gym class, the teacher told me off because I wasn't jumping far enough. Next time I jumped, I ended up at the other side of the room and didn't know how this had happened."

I could remember this very well. Our teacher had been furious because she believed that Mandy had tried to cheat. She had been forced to run five rounds for punishment; no one had believed that she didn't know how it had happened.

"When we had this awful spinach for lunch and Mrs Richards told me that I had to eat it, the spinach simply ended up on Vivi's plate and no one knew how."

"I love spinach," I said, so Professor McGonagall wouldn't think Mandy was forcing me to eat something I didn't want to. I liked all green vegetables. They reminded me of the garden in my memory.

The teacher or whatever she was seemed genuinely interested, it wasn't the kind of look you gave mad people. It did feel quite good to talk about all this for once.

"When I let my plate fall down once, it was whole again when I went to pick up the shards. And I had seen it was broken before. No one believed this of course. They thought I had just been lucky," Mandy continued.

Professor McGonagall nodded. "Thank you, Miss Brocklehurst. What about you Miss Lestrange? Has anything like this ever happened to you as well?"

I took a deep breath. I didn't really want to talk about it. I had this feeling that she wouldn't like it. But I probably should tell her. She seemed to be familiar with this stuff, the first person who had ever believed that it was real.

"Not quite like this," I said. "But there have been other unusual things." I needed to explain this properly. "We're living in an orphanage you know. There are people who are bigger and stronger than us here and the care givers can't be always there. Some of the other kids at school don't want us around and try to hurt us."

"This must have been quite hard for you," Professor McGonagall said.

"Yes. We need to defend ourselves and others somehow. If someone has a headache, it stops when I touch his forehead. And if someone has cut himself or if someone has scraped his knee, the wounds sometimes close when I look at them. Sometimes, people who try to harm me or my friends suddenly feel pain in the body part I'm looking at though. It's quite eerie. There's never any wound, just pain. I really don't know why that happens but it's probably me causing this as well, isn't it?"

"Probably," Professor McGonagall said. I swallowed again. I had always told myself that it was nothing but coincidence.

"Did you ever experience other strange things? Like those Mandy has been talking about?"

I shook my head.

Her expression was quite serious. I wasn't too surprised. She believed I had the power to cause pain to other people by simply looking at them; of course she'd be disturbed. A few times, parents of other children had said I had the evil eye. Maybe they did have a point.

"I see," Professor McGonagall said. "Thank you for being so open to me, both of you. Now it's time for me to tell you why I'm really here."

Both of us looked at her curiously. So we had been right, she had lied when she had talked about the scholarship. At this point, I thought that getting professional help might not be the worst thing for me though.

"I'm really here to offer you a place at school," Professor McGonagall told us. "It's not an ordinary private school though. Hogwarts is a school of magic."

Both of us stared at her in disbelief. All my life, I had hoped that something like this would happen. Now that it did, I couldn't really believe it. Neither could Mandy.

"You must be joking. Magic isn't real," she said.

"I can understand that it's hard for you to believe Miss Brocklehurst but magic is real. Why do you think you can do all those things you have done? It's because you're magical. You're witches, both of you."

Oh, I wanted to believe her so much.

"I'm a witch?" It was still spoken as a question. Was this the reason why I had always been so drawn to anything magical? "A witch like Morgan LeFay?"

Professor McGonagall gave me a curious look. "She's called Morgana in our world and yes she was a witch."

"Was?" I asked. "So she's not alive anymore? She's not-"I stopped in mid sentence. I had wanted to ask if she was my mother but it would sound stupid, childish.

"She lived many centuries ago, Miss Lestrange. We live longer than ordinary people do but not that long. How did you learn about her?"

"There are many stories about her," I said. "I've always liked to read them. I thought that I might have come from a magical world as a child. And now you're telling me it's true."

"Now, wait a moment," Mandy said. "Vivien doesn't know where she came from but I do. And my parents were perfectly ordinary people. They had nothing to do with any strange things. My mother was an office assistant; she definitely was not a witch."

"I'm aware of that, Miss Brocklehurst," Professor McGonagall said. "This kind of thing isn't unusual. Quite a few of our students are Muggle-born. Muggle is our word for people without magic. Some of them are among the most talented people who have ever been to Hogwarts."

This was really fascinating. "You can't make up all this stuff, can you?" I said.

"I'm not making anything up, Miss Lestrange," Professor McGonagall said. "You've both been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I have you acceptance letters with me by the way. Do you want to have a look?"

Of course we did. Professor McGonagall handed each of us two pieces of parchment. The first one of mine said that I had been admitted at Hogwarts, a school under a Headmaster called Albus Dumbledore who seemed to have many titles I had never heard of before.

The second piece of parchment was much more fascinating. It contained a shopping list full of wonderful things I had only read about in stories before. Books about spells and potions, a wand, a cauldron, potions ingredients and much more. They really couldn't have made all this up, could they?

Deep down, I knew that they had not. It was real. I had always known that I was different from the others that both Mandy and I were different from the others and now we knew why.

Mandy had a more practical question. "Okay, if we believe that this is true, where do we get all this stuff? We don't know where to find it and we don't have any money."

"This won't be a problem, Miss Brocklehurst," Professor McGonagall said. "As I've told you before, the school will provide for anything you need. If you choose to come, I'm going to accompany you to Diagon Alley where you can buy everything on this list. It's in London."

I had noticed something else on the shopping list. "Parents are reminded that first-years aren't allowed their own broomsticks."

"So witches do really ride on broomsticks?" I asked. "Like in those stories?"

A smile flickered over Professor McGonagall's face. "Yes, we do, Miss Lestrange. You'll have flying lessons in your first year."

"Wow," there was nothing else I could say about that. I was going to have flying lessons. My dream might finally come true if not in the company of my young uncle.

"So you do believe me now, Miss Lestrange?" Professor McGonagall asked.

I nodded. "Yes, I've always believed that there might be something like that. It, it just feels right."

"You want to go to Hogwarts then?"

"Yes, of course."

"And what about you Miss Brocklehurst?"

"Well, we're going to know soon, aren't we," Mandy said. "If this Diagon Alley really exists and if we can really buy all this stuff, we know it's true."

Professor McGonagall smiled slightly again. "You will see it soon. I'll come back tomorrow morning at 10 am if Mrs Richards doesn't mind. You can think about it over night and tell me what you want to do tomorrow."

"Alright, thank you," we said but I didn't need the night to decide what I wanted. Of course I wanted to go to Hogwarts and learn about magic.

"There's something else. The Muggles don't know that magic really exists," Professor McGonagall said. "And our government, the Ministry of Magic wishes that it remains this way. That's why you mustn't tell anyone that you're really going to a school for magic. Tell them that you've earned a scholarship to an ordinary boarding school. This is very important."

I felt a little twinge of unease again, Mandy looked uncomfortable as well. We still promised it though.

Mandy had another question. "Hogwarts really is a boarding school? We'll live there from now on."

"Yes, during term you're going to live there. There are holidays three times a year, at Christmas, at Easter and during the summer. In summer, you have to return here, during the other holidays you can choose if you wish to remain at school or come here."

"We want to come here. Aurora and Andy are going to miss us," Mandy said and I agreed completely. Our uneasy feeling was gone. We'd come back here, at least during the holidays.

I was keen to find out more, but Professor McGonagall said: "Alright, that's all for today. I'll see you again tomorrow."

I had never felt so excited in my entire life. I was going to a school for magic, a school for magic! It was all real, I was a witch and Mandy was as well. We'd go there together. We'd stay with other witches and learn how to use our powers. I'd learn to fly. Mandy kept smiling as well. No matter what she had said, she obviously did believe it as well now.

We both would have liked to tell the others, but we weren't allowed to do that. When we told them that we had received a scholarship, they believed that this was enough reason for us to be so happy.

We won our next round of ping-pong but we couldn't be sure if there might have been magic involved of course. I didn't really think so however. We had never used our magic for this kind of thing anyway.

I was looking forward to the next morning so much, a wand, a cauldron, spell books. I wanted to hold them in my hands as soon as possible.


	3. Chapter 3 Visiting Diagon Alley

**Visiting Diagon Alley**

At 9.50 am next morning we stood in front of the orphanage doors, waiting for Professor McGonagall to return.

Mandy looked around nervously "I'm not really sure if we're doing the right thing," she said after a while. "Lies are never good. Maybe this woman wants to harm us. Maybe she belongs to some criminal organisation and wants to use us for something bad."

"I don't think so." Professor McGonagall had really not looked like a member of the criminal underground. I had to calm Mandy though.

"If she is, we're quite able to defend ourselves."

I knew that this was true and that was proof enough for me that she really had told us the truth. Mandy seemed to feel the same way. "You're probably right. It's just so hard to believe, magic school, really."

At 9.55 I started to become nervous for a different reason. What if she wasn't coming at all? Maybe she had given up on us. Or it had really been nothing but a joke after all. The hand of the clock by the bus station on the other side of the street reached the ten and Professor McGonagall still wasn't there. I didn't feel like talking anymore. It just had to be true, it had to. My heart was beating very fast. Why wasn't she coming?

At 10.05 am, Professor McGonagall came walking towards us. None of us had seen her arrive. "Good morning girls. Come on, we shouldn't waste any time."

"We've told Ms Thomson that we might not be back for lunch," Mandy said. Lunch was always at 12 o clock when we weren't at school. We probably wouldn't be that quick.

"Good. This can take a while," Professor McGonagall said. "Follow me please."

She led us away from the street to a small patch of grass surrounded by thick bushes. After scanning the surroundings carefully for potential watchers, Professor McGonagall took a piece of paper out of her pocket. It was a bus schedule.

"We need to use the line 2 if we want to go to the station from here," Mandy told her. We had travelled by train quite a few times before when going on excursions with the others.

"We're not going to take the train to London," Professor McGonagall said. "This would take way too long. You're going to see your first piece of magic now."

Mandy and I grinned at each other excitedly.

"This," Professor McGonagall indicated the bus schedule, "is a Portkey. It will take us to the Leakey Cauldron. That's a pub at the entrance of Diagon Alley. Diagon Alley is the magical shopping mile of London."

We were still looking at each other. If this really worked, we'd know that she was telling the truth really soon now.

"It will be very quick but the sensation is a tad bit unpleasant. So be prepared but don't worry. It's not harmful in any way. I'm counting to three, at three, you all touch the paper. Do you understand?"

"Yes," we told her quickly.

Professor McGonagall took something out of her pocket which looked like a wooden stick. She tapped the bus schedule with it and it started to glow faintly. "One, two, three, go!"

It happened immediately, a strange feeling as if something was pulling us forward from behind our navel. That was magic, real magic!

Before I could really decide if I liked the sensation or not, I landed hard in a heap on the floor. Mandy was lying next to me, while Professor McGonagall still stood. "All a matter of practice," she said.

A few people were laughing.

I scrambled to my feet as quickly as possible. I really didn't like being laughed at.

We were standing in a dimly lit guestroom, which had many visitors for the early hour. Some of them were having breakfast while others were only drinking something. Many people in the room didn't seem to be guests at all but simply passed through the pub. I noticed a plump woman with lots of children, all of them red-haired. The woman greeted Professor McGonagall politely when she passed her; the children did so as well. If she hadn't been wearing robes, she'd be completely ordinary looking I thought. Not what I imagined a witch to look like. That was true of most people present at the Leakey Cauldron. Their clothes were the only really unusual thing about them.

The other guests weren't paying any attention to us anymore. A group of people suddenly turning up on the floor of a pub didn't seem to be a very unusual occurrence among witches. Mandy was looking around curiously just like me. "So there are male witches as well?" she asked after a while.

Professor McGonagall smiled slightly. "They're called wizards and yes, males can have magical abilities as well."

I wasn't quite sure how I felt about this. Ms Leakey seemed to believe that magic was linked to being female. I had always believed this as well in a way. I had no problem with boys either though, it shouldn't really be a problem.

I noticed a young girl. She had short, spiky, rainbow-coloured hair, a bit punk-like. I really wouldn't have expected a witch to look like that.

When the woman sitting next to her got up, I felt as if I couldn't breathe anymore. This was my mother, or rather the woman I saw in those strange memories. Her hair was brown and not black yes, but details like this could change. Everything else, her face, the way she was carrying herself where exactly like I remembered them.

"Come on, it's time to leave," even her voice sounded like that of the woman I remembered. "And you really should change your hair, Nymphadora."

"Don't call me Nymphadora," the girl said loudly.

The name really was a bit strange but not that strange for a witch I thought. I liked the idea of nymphs. Were they real as well?

The woman sighed. "Not again."

They walked towards us; I tried not to stare at the woman too much. It was impolite but I simply couldn't help it. Could she really be my mother? But why would she leave me even though she already had an older daughter?

"Good morning, Minerva," she said. "Hogwarts business?"

She was looking at us now and an inner voice of mine begged her to show some sign of recognition, but she did not.

"Good Morning Andromeda," Professor McGonagall said. Andromeda, the name was beautiful. It was from Greek mythology, I hadn't really liked her story that much though. Helpless girl who needed to be saved by the hero. I preferred the story about Medea.

"Yes, those two have been living in a Muggle orphanage."

Andromeda gave us a slightly pitying look which made me a bit angry. I didn't want to be pitied. I wanted her to realise that she was my mother or at least related to me. That didn't seem to be the case however. I sighed and looked away.

Nymphadora was eying us curiously. Her hair was still rainbow-coloured; she didn't seem to care about her mother's advice.

"Hello, I'm Dora Tonks by the way. Maybe you'll be in Hufflepuff with me. It's the best houes." She grinned.

"What is Hufflepuff?" Mandy wanted to know. "I thought the school was called Hogwarts."

Dora grinned. "Yes, it is. There are four school houses though. Hufflepuff is one of them. They're named after the four founders of Hogwarts."

School houses? These were among the things I've only read about so far as well. Just like magic.

"So there are four houses?" Mandy asked. "How do they decide where we will go?"

"There's the Sorting," Dora explained. "You have to put a hat on, it once belonged to Godric Gryffindor, another one of the founders. The others put magic into it as well though. It will talk to you a bit and then decide which house you will be in. It's quite easy actually but many people are scared."

A hat that told us into which school house we belonged? It was hard to believe that but if all this other stuff was true, why not?

"You're sorted by your character traits you know," Dora added. "Hufflepuff is for those who are just and loyal. Some people think that's worthless but this is rubbish. We-"

"I'm really sorry Dora but we have to go now," Andromeda told her daughter. "The McLaggens are expecting us at 10.30. And please do something about your hair, will you? You have to think about your future career as well. They're quite high up in the Ministry."

Dora sighed. "Alright," she said and seconds later her hair had turned from rainbow-coloured to black and became sleek rather than spiky as well. It looked much more like mine now.

"Good. Come on now. Nice to meet you. I hope you'll have a good time at Hogwarts."

Dora waved at us and the two walked away.

"We have to get going too," Professor McGonagall told us. "I think you should get your robes first. Let's go to Madam Malkin's."

We followed her into Diagon Alley, a small, rickety street lined with various shops. Some of them sold "normal" things such as ice-cream or books but many others offered things I had never seen before. I didn't really know where to look first, there were so many fascinating things. I still wondered if I might not be dreaming.

We quickly reached "Madam Malkin's" though. It wasn't that different from a non-magical clothing shop, there were rows and rows of clothes and people trying them on. The only difference was the way the clothes looked. Only long robes and cloaks. This would take some getting used to.

The Hogwarts robes were black, I preferred something more colourful, but we'd have to wear what was expected.

Our next destination was the wand maker. I was very excited about this. We could use our magic already but I was sure we'd be more powerful with a wand.

Mr Ollivander gave me a very strange look when we entered his shop. It was lined with shelves containing small boxes.

Professor McGonagall introduced us and Ollivander said. "Miss Lestrange, that's really interesting."

Professor McGonagall gave a very audible cough and Mr Ollivander fell silent.

"Which one of you first?" he asked after a short while.

Mandy and I shared a nervous look. Neither of us knew what was going to happen here and how you selected a wand.

"Miss Lestrange, maybe you want to go first," Ollivander said after a while.

"Okay." If he was asking me like that, I'd do it. I didn't want them to think I was afraid. Mandy watched curiously.

Ollivander took out a measuring tape and asked me which hand I was using. "I'm left-handed," I told him wondering if that was a problem among wizards. I knew it had been for Muggles in the past but nowadays there was writing equipment suitable for that.

If Ollivander minded in any way, he didn't let it show. After he knew about my size, he gave me a wand to try. "Ebony and Phoenix feather, 12 inches." I took the wand, my hand was slightly sweaty. This was a bit embarrassing but Ollivander didn't seem to notice.

"Go on, wave it around a bit," he told me but there was still no effect.

He gave me another wand to try and a few more, but the result was always the same. I started to get nervous. Maybe I wasn't magical after all.

"Don't worry. This often takes a while," Ollivander told me. "The wand chooses the wizard you know. It takes time to find the proper match."

I took a deep breath and continued trying. I was magical, I told myself. I knew it.

Ollivander gave me another wand. I immediately thought that it looked quite nice. "Elm and Dragon heartstring, 12.5 inches," Ollivander explained.

I took the wand and felt a sudden warmth in my fingers. Bright little starts were erupting from the wand and arranged themselves on the ceiling like the real stars in the sky. I watched, fascinated. Had I really done this? Or was it the wand, telling us that it belonged to me?

Mr Ollivander was smiling slightly. "That's really nice. This is the right one but you already know that, don't know?"

I nodded, beaming.

"A very good choice, Miss Lestrange. Elm wands are known for their reliability. They are the least likely to produce magical accidents."

Do I look as if I needed that, I was asking myself. Mandy was the one who kept setting things on fire.

"They're capable of highly advanced magic and usually, their owners turn out to be as well," Ollivander added.

"Excuse me, Sir but what about the dragon? Has it been killed so the heartstrings could be used?" I had always liked Dragons and wasn't really happy about the idea, that such a powerful creature had been killed for one single heartstring to be put into my wand.

"Nowadays, Dragon heartstring are removed without killing the Dragon," Ollivander said.

I was relieved.

"There are powerful healing spells that make this possible. In the past, killing them was the usual way to do this though. It was seen as a sign of courage before Dragons have become so rare."

"Thank you for telling me," I said.

Mandy also needed a while until she had found the right wand. It produced a small rainbow in the shop when she took into her hand. Her wand was made of beech and contained a Unicorn tail hair.

"Witches and wizards who are chosen by a beech wand are often unusually open-minded and far-sighted," Ollivander told Mandy. "It's very suitable for the more subtle forms of magic."

He was probably telling everyone something nice about their new wand, I thought.

Still, I was intrigued by the fact that I had a wand now. I could hardly leave me fingers off it, wanted to feel the smooth wood all the time. I was really looking forward to doing real, controlled magic with it.

"When will we buy our spell books?" I asked.

"We're going to do that next," Professor McGonagall said. "And the potions equipment as well.

Some of the things in the shop for potions equipment reminded me a bit of the chemistry stuff I had seen in some of my books back at the orphanage. Maybe it would be a bit like it, now that I wouldn't learn about chemistry. I was quite sure that I'd like potions as well.

"You need ingredients as well, but we're going to buy them last," Professor McGonagall said. "The smell is a bit unpleasant in some cases. You wouldn't want that at lunch."

"Can we keep them in our dorm than?" I asked. "Wouldn't the others notice that there's something odd?"

"You won't take these things with you to the orphanage," Professor McGonagall told us. "It's very likely that people would notice. We'll keep them at Hogwarts."

I didn't like this at all. I didn't want to part from my wand again so soon and I wanted to read my books. "Can I take the books with me at least? I don't want to be completely clueless when I arrive at Hogwarts?"

"Yes," Mandy added. "All those people from magical families will prepare before school and we'll be the only ones who don't know anything."

Professor McGonagall sighed. "Alright. I don't want to keep you from learning. Make sure that you hide the books well though. And if someone sees them, tell them they belong to some sort of fantasy novel you're reading."

Mandy grinned. "I'm sure everyone would believe Vivi that. She keeps reading this kind of stuff."

When we reached the bookstore, Flourish and Blotts an elderly witch wearing a stuffed vulture on her hat and a chubby-looking boy who might be about our age were walked towards us. The boy looked very shy and sad.

"Good morning Augusta," Professor McGonagall said. She really seemed to know everyone here. Well, if they all went to her school it wasn't much of a surprise.

"Morning Minerva," the elderly witch said. "Showing new Muggle-borns around?" She didn't wait for an answer from Professor McGonagall.

"It's happening quite often and it's still like a miracle when magic bobs up just like that." She looked down upon the boy besides her and sighed. "Too bad the opposite can happen as well. I didn't think Neville was magical enough to go to Hogwarts before we got the letter. He only showed his magic one single time. And that with parents as talented as his."

Neville's face had turned purple and he stared at the ground. I felt very sorry for him. How could she talk about him like that? In front of his future teacher and classmates. It was really mean. I tried to give him an encouraging look but I wasn't sure if he noticed that.

The old woman looked at us again. "Very well, Longbottom's the name, Augusta Longbottom."

Mandy looked as if she were about to laugh and I stepped on her foot. I was quite touchy about last names as well even though mine was much better than Longbottom I had to admit. I wouldn't have wanted to grow up in the orphanage being called that.

Mandy quickly glanced at Neville's backside as if she wanted to find out if the name was appropriate or not.

"Nice to meet you, Mrs Longbottom," I said, hoping that they hadn't noticed Mandy's reaction. "My name's Vivien and that's Mandy."

Mrs Longbottom nodded and turned to Professor McGonagall again. "You're sure this one's really a Muggle-born?" she asked, looking at me.

I started at her, for the moment completely forgetting about politeness. My hand wandered to my wand again, as if it could reassure me in a way. Ever since I had known that I had been simply left at the orphanage, I had been asking myself who my parents were and where I came from.

"I assume so," Professor McGonagall answered. "Both girls have grown up in a Muggle orphanage. The Ministry would never allow for magical children to be left there on purpose. The danger that someone finds out about their magic is far too great in such a place."

"This is correct of course," Mrs Longbottom said, looking at me again. "But maybe no one knew. Sirius Black was very fond of wild Muggle parties. He persuaded my Frank to accompany him once, you know." Whatever had happened there, it hadn't pleased Mrs Longbottom that much was obvious. I wasn't sure if this was the fault of Sirius Black or if "her Frank" had decided to ignore her advice.

Professor McGonagall clearly didn't like the direction this conversation was going. "I don't think speculation will lead us anywhere," she said rather tartly while I made sure to remember the name Sirius Black.

"There must be something," Mrs Longbottom said. "If she doesn't have any Black blood somewhere, I'll eat my broomstick."

"No Gran, please don't do this," Neville said quietly and Mandy and I both laughed.

I needed to know what she was talking about though. "Excuse me, but what does Black blood mean?" I wasn't even sure if it was supposed to be a good thing or not.

"The Blacks are an old magical family," Professor McGonagall explained. I should have guessed that after they had been talking about Sirius Black.

"Andromeda Tonks whom we've met earlier comes from this family."

"Oh."

"Close your mouth again or flies will get in," Mrs Longbottom said and I did so, blushing.

So other people believed I might be related to this Andromeda as well? It wasn't just me? But why hadn't she noticed anything?

Well, maybe she had simply been too busy with her daughter and their appointment.

"And this Sirius Black is one of them too?" I asked. "I'm sorry for acting like this but I know absolutely nothing about my family. That's why I'm really curious."

I hoped she'd understand that and wouldn't think me too obnoxious. Still, I didn't like the way she was treating Neville either.

"That's understandable. Yes, Sirius Black was one of them too. He used to be a sort of rebel, or so we believed," Mrs Longbottom said. "I wouldn't put it past him to have a child with a Muggle, if only to make his family angry."

Well, that sounded almost exactly like the image of my father I had gotten from the things I had heard at the orphanage. Some irresponsible man who got a clueless woman pregnant and left her alone with me until she couldn't take care of me anymore for some reason.

What about my memories though? If they were anything to go by, my mother had been the one looking like Andromeda, the one from this Black family. After everything I knew now there was no real reason to believe that those memories weren't real anymore.

"I'm sorry Augusta but we really need to get going now," Professor McGonagall said. "Have a nice day."

Mrs Longbottom turned away, followed by her son, or grandson? I wasn't quite sure.

"Bye Neville," I said. He surely didn't have an easy time either. But at least he knew who his family was.

I had been so excited about the spell books before, but now I hardly noticed what we were buying. I was thinking about my family. Could this Sirius Black really be my father?

Maybe I'd learn more when I finally got to Hogwarts. Maybe I'd find out where I came from and if the large house and the herb garden had been real or not.


	4. Chapter 4 The Journey to Hogwarts

**AN:** Thank your for all your reviews and sorry for the long delay. I had a very busy week and didn't find much time to write during the week.

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**The Journey to Hogwarts**

Summer holidays at St. Catherine's Orphanage always passed very slowly but they had never dragged on as long as they did this year. I missed my new wand but it would wait for me in Hogwarts like my cauldron, the potions ingredients and almost everything else.

At least, I had the books and I almost knew them by heart by now. I didn't really understand everything in there though; especially the book about transfiguration seemed really difficult. The most disappointing book had been "A History of Magic." I had hoped for interesting information about magic but instead it barely focused on people at all. There were many pages on stuff like Goblin rebellions and which creature had been classified as what at which time. This was mildly interesting but I would have wanted to know what witches and wizards actually did in the past. Had there never been any war among them? Never any rebellion or other kind of trouble? That was the kind of thing I wanted to know about but for some reason, they didn't write about it.

Well, I'd have to wait till I was at Hogwarts to find out more.

Mandy and I had made a calendar were we crossed out every day that had passed so we could see a bit of progress and finally, September the first had arrived.

Professor McGonagall had provided us with train tickets to London. The train to Hogwarts would leave from King's Cross station at 11 am. The journey to London would take more than three hours so we had to get up very early.

We said goodbye to Aurora, Andy and everyone else the evening before. Our friends were happy for us but some of the others were a bit jealous as well. They believed that we had won a scholarship for a famous school after all. If they knew the truth, they'd probably be even more jealous. Both of us tried not to show our excitement too much, it wouldn't be nice. We hadn't really done anything special to earn our magic after all.

Mrs Richards told us to behave well and work hard, Ms Thomson told us to be good and decent while Ms Leakey simply wished us a good time.

We took an early bus to the local train station; it was full of young people going to school. A few of them made snide remarks because we came from the orphanage but neither of us really cared about this today.

The train to London was on time, something I was very glad about. I didn't want to imagine what it would be like to miss the train to Hogwarts because the Muggle train didn't get there. Would someone pick us up or would we have to go back?

We tried to sleep on the train but I didn't really manage it. I was way too excited for that. I was going to a school of magic, I was going to meet many other children with magic and everything would be completely new. I just had to imagine what it would be like as soon as I closed my eyes.

Getting to King's Cross with the Muggle underground proved easier than we had expected as well. Mandy had been to London with her family before her parents had died and she remembered how it had been. She quickly figured out which line we had to take and we arrived at King's Cross at 10. .

Mandy checked her ticket. "Well, now we have to find platform 9 ¾."

We walked towards platform nine and checked but of course, there was nothing between 9 and 10.

"It's probably hidden by magic," I said.

"Yes, but how do we get there? Too bad Professor McGonagall forgot to tell us."

We stared at the barrier separating the two platforms but nothing indicated where we had to go. I looked at my watch. Five minutes had already passed. If only we didn't miss the train.

I looked around. If everyone had to go to Hogwarts by train, there must be other magical people here. Too bad they had to hide and we couldn't recognise which ones they were.

After another five minutes, I saw a strict-looking woman accompanied by a round-faced boy. Mrs Longbottom and Neville. I sighed with relief. They could surely tell us what we had to do.

"Good morning Mrs Longbottom," I said quickly. "We've met at Diagon Alley. We're sorry but we don't know how to get to platform. Could you please tell us?"

Mrs Longbottom glanced at me through narrowed eyes. "Simply walk towards the barrier. It will let you through."

She put a hand on Neville's shoulder and steered him towards the barrier. It seemed as if she wanted to get him away from us quickly. That could have been my imagination though. Maybe she was just nervous because she was so late as well.

"She could have waited for us," Mandy said, an annoyed look at her face.

I shrugged. I had never liked her very much in the first place. It would surely be good for Neville to be away from her for a while. "We should be able to make this on our own"

We had no choice but to try it. It had looked simple enough when Neville and his grandmother had done it.

We walked towards the barrier, holding onto our trunks. The solid material came closer and closer, I was sure that my nose would touch it soon. If anyone was watching, they'd think we were stupid.

My nose didn't touch anything though and a few steps later, we stood on a new platform. A red steam engine was waiting there and everything was full of children and parents wishing them goodbye. Many of them were hugging each other; some had tears in their eyes.

I swallowed hard. Moments like this one made me remember that I had parents who had simply left me in front of an orphanage, who had never wanted me. It didn't really matter if my father had really been this wizard called Sirius Black or not, he had definitely never cared about me.

"Come on. Let's get in," Mandy said. The way her voice sounded she was probably feeling the same way.

We left the children with parents behind and boarded the train. The first carriages were completely full already but we found a compartment to ourselves at the end of the train. We put our luggage up and sat down.

A short while later, the train slowly started to move. We were grinning at each other. The journey to Hogwarts had begun. Everything else was forgotten for the moment.

After a while, we did realise that the train journey to Hogwarts wasn't very different from any other train journey though. We had talked about everything on the first part of our journey already so we decided to read. I took out "The Dark Forces, a Guide to Self-Protection" while Mandy tried her luck with "A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration."

Self-protection could always come in handy. The book didn't contain as much information as I would have liked to see though. There was a spell called "Expelliarmus" which would take the wand out of someone else's hand and a Shield Charm. I didn't know what real dark magic was like but I doubted that this could help against powerful curses and dark enchantments. It could come in useful in fights with other magical students though.

After a while, a woman who sold snacks came to our part of the train. We couldn't buy anything because we didn't have any money with us. Instead, we got out the food we had brought from the orphanage, a cheese sandwich and an apple each. Both tasted good and were probably healthier than Chocolate Frogs and Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans. I'd still have liked to try them though.

When we had finished eating, the door to our compartment was pushed open. Two people walked in. One of them was Neville Longbottom, the other a girl with bushy hair.

"Have you seen a toad? Neville has lost his," the girl said.

"No, we haven't. I'm sorry," I said. "It hasn't been here."

Neville looked scared and disappointed. It must be awful to lose your pet on your first day at school. I didn't really understand why he was so nervous though. He was from a wizarding family and should be familiar with everything here.

A nagging feeling in the back of my mind told me that there might be a good reason to be scared of the magical world. A reason we didn't know of.

"We could try and help you find it," Mandy suggested.

Neville quickly looked at me and shook his head. "No, thank you," he muttered and the two of them went off again.

"Did I do anything wrong when we met the Longbottoms?" I asked Mandy as soon as Neville and the girl had left.

"They're behaving rather oddly, aren't they?" Mandy said. "I'm not aware of anything though. It's possible that we've broken some code of wizard etiquette of course. We've probably got much to learn."

I nodded. A book like "A Guide to Wizarding Behaviour" would come in really useful.

There were people walking down the corridor all the time but no one seemed to be very interested in us. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be glad about that or not. I would have liked to get to know a few more wizards and witches.

After a while, there was some sort of commotion outside. People were laughing rather roughly. Mandy and I shared a look. This wasn't the first time we heard something like that. It was very likely that someone was being bullied there.

"Let's go and talk a look," I said and Mandy got up after a moment of hesitation.

"I'm not sure if we can do much though," she said. "We don't even have our wands."

That was rather inconvenient of course. I would have liked to try this Expelliarmus spell but it would probably not work without a wand.

We left the compartment and quickly saw what was going on. Neville Longbottom had been cornered by three boys. The one in the middle had blond hair and a pale, pointed face; the other two were very large.

"Has Longbottom lost his toady?" the blond boy said mockingly. "Maybe someone's going to cut it up for his potion."

The other two roared with laughter.

Idiots, I thought. There was nothing funny or witty about this remark.

The blond boy drew his wand. "I've read about a nice little curse. Do you think I could practise it on you, Longbottom?"

"Leave him alone," I said walking towards the group.

The blond boy looked at me, his wand still in his hand. His two friends were drawing closer as if they were something like his bodyguards.

I wasn't too hopeful. They were much stronger and had their wands with them while we didn't. We probably wouldn't win a fight. That didn't matter though. We weren't going to let this happen without doing anything.

"And who are you? I haven't seen you before. Are you a Mudblood?"

There was a flash of anger in Neville's eyes when he heard the word. I wouldn't have needed that to know he had said something offensive. The meaning of the word "Mudblood" wasn't hard to guess.

"So Mudblood is your term for people with Muggle parents?" Mandy asked.

The boy smirked. "You've given yourself away, Mudbloods." He sighed in mock exasperation. "It's a shame what they're letting into Hogwarts nowadays."

I took a deep breath. This wasn't really surprising. Why should wizards be more tolerant than Muggles? If he decided to pick on us now, Neville might have a chance to get away. We could cope with this kind of thing; we had heard it all before.

The boy looked at me again. "Tell me little Mudblood, do you like Longbottom? Do you want to be his girlfriend?"

The boy's two cronies laughed again.

"It shouldn't be a problem. Marrying filth like you couldn't make his family sink much more deeply anymore, you know."

"Shut your mouth, Malfoy!" Neville spit at the boy. For a moment, every trace of fear was gone. His family seemed to be a very sore spot for him.

"The girl you're calling filth is actually your cousin! Not that the term isn't appropriate."

A mixture of shock, anger and disbelief was almost choking me. Being insulted by this boy was one thing but Neville? We had just tried to protect him from Malfoy and his goons. I definitely wasn't Malfoy's cousin either.

Neville looked upset by his own words already but I wasn't feeling sorry for him anymore. This had definitely been too much.

"You're mad, Longbottom," Malfoy said, staring at him. For the first time I had to agree with him.

"I do not have any unknown cousins. Enough of this. Come on boys, we'll soon be at Hogwarts."

They walked away and so did we. I considered saying something to Neville but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Something was wrong with him. It probably wasn't his fault. Maybe he actually did have some sort of mental disorder. There were some children with illnesses like that at the Orphanage but they had lived in a special wing with extra-care. I had never known how to act around them.

This might explain the odd behaviour of his grandmother too though I didn't think it was appropriate. I had no idea if there were wizarding psychiatrists; maybe the steam engine wasn't the only outdated thing in the wizarding world.

"Well, at least they stopped picking on him for now," Mandy said. "Don't look so upset. Maybe he was simply embarrassed by this situation. It's hard for boys when they need help from a girl. Andy has been quite unfriendly in such cases too."

I sighed and stayed silent. I didn't really believe that it was a simple as that but it didn't really matter, did it? I'd avoid Neville Longbottom in future. Hopefully, we'd get into different houses.

Finally, we reached our destination and could get off the train. I was glad to walk in the fresh air again; we had really spent lots of time in trains today.

"First-years, over here," a giant man shouted. I wondered if he really was a giant. It could be possible, I had read that giants were real somewhere.

Carriages were waiting for the older students. There were no horses pulling them, instead they seemed to move by themselves. Probably magic. Mandy started at those carriages with a horrified expression.

"Hey, Mandy, what's the matter?" I whispered.

"Don't you see them, these, these things?" she asked in a terrified whisper. "These things that are drawing the carriage. Zombie horses or something."

I didn't see anything and started to get worried. First Neville and now Mandy. Was there something about magic that messed with our minds? The strange things that happened around us had made me feel scared of being mad before. Now that I knew magic was real, I had stopped being scared of that but the things I had seen during the last hours made the fear return.

"Don't worry, these are Thestrals. They're quite harmless if a bit eerie," a voice said. It belonged to a girl with long black hair and brown skin.

"But, there's nothing there," I said.

"Yes, there is. We just can't see them but I know they exist. My parents told me about them. Only some people can see them, that's completely normal. Not need to worry, really."

I sighed with relief. There was still too much about magic I simply didn't know. I hoped Hogwarts had a good library where I could get all the necessary information.

"We should keep going though. We don't want to be left behind, do we? I'm Padma Patil by the way."

They hurried along, following the giant man and the other first-years. I could see Malfoy as well as Neville and the bushy-haired girl. They followed a dark path that probably led through some sort of forest. Slowly, my anxiousness lessened and my excitement returned. I'd see a real magic school very soon. It was quite natural that surprising things happened there.

When we finally saw Hogwarts, all my worries were replace with awe. Not even in my wildest dreams had I imagined such a large and magnificent castle.

And I'd be allowed to go to school there now, together with Mandy.

We reached a sort of lake and the man leading us told us that we should get into the boats, four people in each. We climbed into one boat, followed by Padma and a girl who looked almost exactly like her.

"That's my sister, Parvati," Padma said. "By the way, what house do you think you get in?"

"We don't really know much about it," Mandy admitted. "The only house we've heard of is Hufflepuff. Doesn't sound bad though. Justice and loyalty. What do the others stand for?"

"There's Ravenclaw," Padma explained. "It values intelligence and a thirst for knowledge. Gryffindor is the house of the brave. Professor Dumbledore, the Headmaster has been there. The last one's Slytherin."

I tried to remember all those names.

"What is special about Slytherin?" I wanted to know. Padma hadn't mentioned anything.

"Well, blood purity is very important for the Slytherins. Their founder didn't want to teach any Muggle-borns you see. So you probably won't get there. Apart from that, their traits are ambition and cunning. Some people say Slytherin is simply the house for the evil and it's not quite wrong. Most dark witches and wizards have been Slytherins."

I was quite sure that Malfoy would end up in Slytherin. If Padma was saying the truth, we wouldn't miss out on anything if we weren't allowed to get there.

The journey over the lake had passed quickly and we climbed out of the boats and up into the school. Neville's toad was found alive and well. I was glad about that. He probably wasn't really to blame for the things he had said earlier. Maybe one of the teachers here at Hogwarts would finally get him professional help.

I didn't want to think about this anymore. There was so much to see and I tried to take everything in right away.


	5. Chapter 5 The Sorting

**AN:** Thank you for your reviews. I tend to be a bit irregular with my updates. Sometimes I finish very quickly, sometimes it takes longer. This doesn't mean that I have abandoned the story or anything.

This time a longer chapter and I hope you all stay on.

By the way, the song "From a Distance" by Bette Midler has really been in the charts in 1991. No copyright infringement is intended by the use of the title.

* * *

**The Sorting**

Mandy was bouncing from one foot to the other. "I hope we don't have to wait much longer. I want to know which house I'm going to be in," she said.

My nervousness grew worse with every minute as well. The idea of school houses was extremely exciting for me as well. We were standing in the Entrance Hall of Hogwarts, school of magic and waited for our Sorting. Nymphadora had told us that we'd simply have to put on a hat, but many of the other first years seemed to have different ideas. A red-haired boy said something about a test that would hurt very much. Neville turned pale.

I tried to swallow down the lump in my throat. There was something very far back in my mind. Almost like a memory that couldn't quite come out. Had Nymphadora kept something from us? Neville was from a magical family and I was quite sure I had seen the red-haired boy in Diagon Alley as well. Maybe she hadn't told us the truth so we wouldn't be frightened.

I heard screams and in an instant, I did remember. There had been screams as well back then, flashes of light and a sudden pain on my cheek. Rough hands were tearing me away from someone, from my mother. There was blood on my face. Aurors.

"Vivi, are you alright?" I heard Mandy's voice from faraway. "They're only ghosts. I don't think they want to harm us."

Still shaking, I looked up. She was right. There were really ghosts in the hall now. About twenty of them, gliding around the room. Three years ago, Mandy and I had seen a ghost when we had visited an old castle with our class. No one had believed us of course, but we had never doubted it. The idea that ghosts were really wasn't a shock for me. They still made me nervous though. Was this part of the test? Did we have to fight the ghosts off?

When one of them spoke, we learned that this wasn't the case. He welcomed us to Hogwarts and told us that he'd like to see us in Hufflepuff. This definitely seemed to be the house with the nicest people (and ghosts) in it.

A moment later, Professor McGonagall had returned and led us into the Great Hall. None of my many dreams about magic had ever come even remotely close to something like this. The Hall was huge, candles floated in mid air and the tables were set with golden plates and goblets. Whoever provided for this school must have lots of money. The other students were already sitting on the tables, wearing black robes with crests in various colours. They probably had to do with the houses and I hoped I'd get one soon as well. I didn't really like to wear purely black clothes.

The Hall didn't even seem to have a ceiling; you could look directly into the night sky as if it were open. It was much too warm for this though, probably that was all due to magic. There were so many wonderful things I didn't know where to look first.

I only noticed the hat Professor McGonagall had put on a stool, when it started to sing. I sighed with relief. Nymphadora obviously had said the truth after all. We were supposed to try the hat on. It described all the four houses in its song. What it told us about them wasn't much different from the things I had heard from Padma and Nymphadora. Padma and Parvati were holding each other's hands now; it must be nice to have a sister you were so close with.

I looked at Mandy and smiled. We were almost like sisters as well even though we weren't related by blood. I really hoped we would get into the same house. Facing Hogwarts alone would be too much.

A very nervous-looking blond girl called Hannah Abbott was the first one to get sorted. She ended up in Hufflepuff. The second person, Susan Bones went to Hufflepuff as well. My hands were rather sweaty now. I just hoped people wouldn't make fun of me because I looked too nervous.

After one boy had been sorted into Ravenclaw it was Mandy's turn already. I gave her a look that was supposed to be encouraging but I wasn't quite sure if it worked out too well. Mandy sat down on the stool and put the hat on. It hid her face completely so I couldn't see what was going on. After a short while, it called out: "Ravenclaw!"

The Ravenclaws applauded and Mandy walked towards them. She quickly turned around, smiling at me, before she sat down on the Ravenclaw table. I wasn't really surprised. Mandy always got excellent marks; a house for clever people would be the right place for her. I wasn't really sure in my own case though. I wasn't as clever as she was.

Draco Malfoy's crony Vincent Crabbe got sorted into Slytherin where he sat down next to a girl named Millicent Bulstrode. Both of them seemed rather thuggish, the kind of people who'd hold other children's arms behind their back so someone else could hit them. I really didn't fancy getting into their house.

The girl who had helped Neville look for his told was called Hermione Granger and went to Gryffindor. I surely wasn't going to end up there either. I didn't feel like having any daring, nerve or chivalry at the moment at all. It would be Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff. Both would be alright but I wanted to stay with Mandy. In Hufflepuff, I'd have the chance to get to know Nymphadora better though. I might find out if we were related after all.

Greengrass, Daphne was sorted into Slytherin now; she looked nicer than the rest. I noticed that she didn't sit down next to Crabbe and Goyle but chose an empty chair on the other side of the table.

"Lestrange, Vivien," Professor McGonagall called. A few people were whispering to each other but that didn't surprise me. I was used to it from primary school. Sitting through about half of the Sorting had taught me that a name like "Lestrange" wasn't normal for witches either.

My heart was beating violently as I walked towards the stool. I was glad when I could sit down because my knees were so weak. Professor McGonagall put the hat on my head, I was glad I didn't have to do it on my own. I might have dropped it. The hat fell over my eyes so I didn't see anyone anymore.

I was startled when I suddenly heard a voice talk to me. It had to belong to the hat.

"Interesting. I see lots of curiosity. A thirst to know things, to understand."

Of course I'm curious, I thought. Who wouldn't be in my situation?

"You're not afraid to stand up for others even if the odds are not in your favour," the hat continued.

I felt myself blush. It wasn't anything special. It wasn't right to look away when someone was being treated badly. "Please, just send me to Ravenclaw with Mandy," I thought, wondering if the head could understand me.

"You're a loyal friend as well," the hat told me. "But I can see something else. You want to prove yourself to the world. There's a desire to be special, to stand out from the crowd."

So far, the hat had made it seem as if I was a wonderful person but I didn't like the last bit. I wasn't arrogant. "That was just because of the magic. I really was different. It wasn't my imagination. Please send me to Ravenclaw. I'll do anything to be good enough."

"You'll do anything, eh?" the hat asked with a hint of amusement if a hat could feel amusement at all.

I realised that this must have sounded like a very Slytherin thing to say. It couldn't be considering putting me into Slytherin, could it? They wouldn't want me anyway.

"I didn't mean it like that. I meant that I'm going to study really hard. I won't waste my time with anything unnecessary." Well, I would try to find out as much about the wizarding world as possible but that was acceptable Ravenclaw behaviour, wasn't it?

"Please don't send me to Slytherin. I don't want to live with people who hate me for where I come from. I don't want to spend the next years in a constant fight."

"Very well, not Gryffindor then," the hat said, leaving me perplexed. We hadn't been discussing Gryffindor at all.

"You could do well in Slytherin if you had the strength to remain yourself," the hat said. "It wouldn't be easy though and you'd lose much if you failed. Too much I think. That's why I want you to be in RAVENCLAW."

The hat shouted the last word into the hall aloud and I got up, immensely relieved. Professor McGonagall took the hat from me, and I walked off towards the Ravenclaw table. Mandy was clapping wildly and hugged me as soon as I reached her. "Yes! We just had to be together," she said. I wholeheartedly agreed. I didn't want to tell her what a narrow miss this had been. At least not right away.

Su Li, the girl sorted after me ended up in Hufflepuff. I saw Nymphadora clapping for her. She had pink hair today. This talent of hers seemed to be fun though I wouldn't dare to make myself look like that.

Neville Longbottom was next. He seemed to be much more nervous than I had been which was quite an achievement. Neville fell over on his way to the stool, a few people laughed. Most of them were sitting at the Slytherin table. I really didn't understand why the hat had considered putting me with them.

Neville sat on the stool for a very long time. I didn't mind this anymore though. I didn't have to wait any longer. Finally, Neville was sent to Gryffindor, a decision neither Mandy nor me could really understand.

"I'm sorry but he's not exactly brave," Mandy said.

I agreed. No one had seemed as nervous as Neville so far. He even forgot to take the hat off and kept in on his head while walking to the Gryffindor table. Many people were laughing at this. I tried not to because I knew it was rude but it was hard.

"I really don't understand why a pureblood is acting like that," one of the older boys on our table said. "He makes it look as if all this was completely new to him."

When Morag McDougal finally got the hat from Neville, she became a Ravenclaw too. Her older sister was already here and they started chatting with each other.

Draco Malfoy was sent to Slytherin right away, I had guessed correctly in his case. He walked over to their table, joining Crabbe and Goyle. I was really glad that I wasn't forced to stay with them. I would probably have been their target for bullying and in a school where everyone had magic; my skills wouldn't be much use.

Peter Moon was quickly sent to Hufflepuff and the next student, a boy called Theodore Nott walked towards the stool. He looked around nervously and avoided to meet anyone's eye. A bit like Neville though it wasn't quite as bad. Theodore sat on the stool for quite a while and ended up in Slytherin. I really didn't expect that. He didn't seem like a Slytherin at all. Maybe they weren't all nasty bullies like Malfoy. I didn't know Millicent Bulstrode at all for example. Judging her by her looks wasn't a nice thing to do. The same was probably true for Pansy Parkinson, the girl who was sent to Slytherin next

Afte Pansy, it was Padma's turn.

"I really hope they come here too," Mandy said and I agreed completely. The Patil sisters had been really nice and explained many things. I'd probably still be worried about the Thestrals if it hadn't been for Padma.

Padma put on the hat and a few moments later, it shouted: "Ravenclaw!" We were clapping loudly and Padma joined us, a broad smile on her face. "Ravenclaw's simply the best," she said, a statement many people around as were quick to agree with.

Parvati sat on the stool now. We all accepted that she'd join us soon, but it wasn't supposed to be like that. "GRYFFINDOR," the hat shouted.

Padma's smile faded away. "Oh no. This can't be true. They can't put us in different houses."

"Well, you can still see each other in class and so on," I said, trying to comfort her.

"Gryffindor's not really a problem," an older boy said. "Our two houses get along quite well. I'm Roger Davies by the way. Do any of you play Quidditch? We really need to get better. Slytherin keeps winning every year."

"This is probably a stupid question, but what is Quidditch?" Mandy asked.

"Ravenclaw house rule number one, there are no stupid questions, only stupid answers," Roger said. "You're probably Muggle-born, aren't you?"

Mandy nodded.

"Of course you wouldn't know about Quidditch. But you will soon enough. It's the best sport in the world. Quidditch is played on flying broomsticks."

I was listening intently now too.

"There are two teams, seven players each. Three of them are chasers; they try to score goals with the Quaffle, a big red ball. Two players are beaters; they try to keep the two Bludgers away from their team. Those are heavy balls that try to knock people off their brooms. There's one Keeper who guards the goal and a Seeker. He's trying to catch the Golden Snitch, the last ball. This is earning the team many points."

"This really sounds like fun," I said. "I'd love to try it but I probably have to practice a lot first. I've never been on a broomstick before."

"I don't know," Mandy said, a doubtful look on her face. "Balls who try to knock the players off their broom? I'm not sure if I want to sit on a broom at all. Sounds too dangerous to me."

The Sorting of the next student interrupted our discussion. There seemed to be something really special about the boy called Harry Potter. He looked quite ordinary, nervous like everyone else but people where staring at him from all the four house tables, whispering to each other. In his case, the whispering was clearly positive. Harry seemed to be some sort of celebrity. Maybe he was the son of a wizarding star, something like that did surely exist.

A few people at our table looked disappointed when he was sent to Gryffindor; the Gryffindors were applauding him raucously. I didn't say it aloud but I didn't mind him being in another house. I didn't like it when people got so worked up over someone famous.

A little while later, Lisa Turpin, a petite girl with very light blond hair became one of us. She sat down next to Mandy but cast a quick look into my direction.

Lisa was the last person to be sorted into Ravenclaw. When Blaise Zabini, a rather good-looking dark-skinned boy had joined the Slytherins, an old man with white hair and a long beard got to his feet.

"Professor Dumbledore, the Headmaster," Padma whispered.

I expected some kind of serious speech but Dumbledore only welcomed us and said a few nonsensical words. Authority figures who acted like that made me a bit uncomfortable, but the others jeered and clapped. They seemed to be used to this. Maybe it was just his style. When he had sat down again, food had arrived, by magic I was sure. I looked at it in astonishment. The food at the orphanage hadn't been bad but many of the dishes here looked as if they were from an expensive restaurant. I had never eaten lamb or roast beef before. They didn't have enough money for this kind of thing at the orphanage but here, money didn't seem to be an issue as I had noticed before. At first, I didn't really dare to try these expensive things but then I did do it. They were delicious.

"So are you all from wizard families?" Mandy asked the others between two mouthfuls of roast chicken.

"Well, my family has been magical for four generations," Lisa said. "That counts as a wizarding family but it doesn't make me a real pureblood. I couldn't marry someone like say Draco Malfoy." She looked over to the Slytherin table.

I couldn't think of a reason why anyone would want to marry Draco Malfoy but I didn't say so. Maybe Lisa liked him.

"You're Muggle-born?" Lisa asked Mandy.

"Yes. My parents couldn't do any magic. I never believed that something like that did exist. But there were those odd things happening around Vivien and me."

Lisa quickly looked at me and back to Mandy. "You know each other?"

Mandy smiled. "We've been living in the same orphanage," she said.

I would rather have kept this to myself but it was too late. We'd have to deal with the reactions.

"So you don't belong to the pureblood family Lestrange?" Lisa asked me. She sounded quite relieved and didn't seem to mind my upbringing.

"There is a pureblood family called Lestrange?" I asked. Was my name a magical one after all? Pureblood probably meant that you weren't related to any Muggles but I didn't like the sound of the term. It made it seem as if everyone else was "impure."

"Yes, there is. But they'd never let a child of theirs stay in a Muggle orphanage," Lisa said.

"I'm not sad that you're not one of them."

"Why? Is there something wrong with them?"

"Well, they're really interested in the Dark Arts," Lisa explained.

"Dark Arts? Black magic? So this kind of thing does really exist as well?" Many of my books had dealt with evil powers and the dark side. Morgana had often been called a dark sorceress as well. I had never really believed that this was true. Ms Leakey probably had a part in this. She thought that people preferred to describe witches as evil for simply doing things like working with dangerous plants.

"Yes, it does. I'd rather not talk about it though," Lisa said.

The leftover food had vanished, leaving the plates as clean as they had been before. Ice cream in many flavours, apple pies and many more desserts appeared now. I'd like to try everything but I had no chance to do so without getting sick.

Mandy asked Padma about her family now. "My parents are a witch and a wizard but one of my grandmothers is a Muggle-born. This probably makes me three-quarters-blood or something."

"Seriously, who cares about this kind of thing?" one of the first-year boys said. "I'm Anthony Goldstein by the way. My father's a wizard while my mother doesn't have magic if you really want to know."

"Does she know about your father's magic?" Lisa asked curiously.

"Yes, he told her about it before they got married," Anthony said. "She's quite open-minded, my Mum. It didn't bother her. She's upset by some of the things that are going on in the wizarding world though. When she saw pictures from Azkaban, she was completely shocked."

"Well, she wouldn't be if she knew what these people have done," Padma said.

"I don't think so. Mum's a psychologist, that's something like a Healer for the mind."

Mandy and I knew what a psychologist was of course, but the people from magical families obviously did not. I looked over to the Gryffindor table where Neville Longbottom was sitting with the other first-years. There probably wasn't a chance for him to get professional help.

"She has dealt with torture victims and she's completely against it you see. No matter what someone has done."

I didn't want to show my ignorance all the time but my curiosity got the better of me. I also remembered what Roger had said about asking questions earlier this evening.

"Could you explain to us what Azkaban is?"

"Of course. Azkaban is the British wizarding prison," Anthony said.

"Oh, I see. And they're torturing the prisoners there?" When I asked this, I realised how little I knew about this new world I was joining. I had been aware of my ignorance as far as magic was concerned but I knew nothing about this society's laws either or about the rights I had here if any.

"Well, not exactly," Padma said. "There are no human guards there."

"What else is guarding the prison then?" Mandy asked.

"Dementors," Padma said shivering.

Seeing our blank looks, Lisa explained: "Dementors are dark creatures. They feed on human emotions, on happy thoughts and memories. People who live with them lose all of those. And they lose all hope and the ability to enjoy anything."

I was shivering too as well when I heard that. The raspberry ice-cream I was eating didn't taste nearly as good as it had before anymore. There was a faint memory once again. "They're going to take us to a place where we will never be happy again."

"This is torture," Anthony said and I thought he was right.

I was glad when Mandy changed the subject again. "So it's normal to have Muggle relatives?"

"Yes, it is," Padma said. Anthony, Lisa and Roger were voicing their agreement. "Most people have mixed blood. Purebloods are extremely rare."

"Especially in Ravenclaw," Lisa added. "Academic curiosity isn't the trait pureblood families usually value. Most of them are either interested in political gain and go to Slytherin or they value courage and go to Gryffindor. A few families are closer to the earth and to plants and animals. They tend to go to Hufflepuff."

She looked at me again. "The Lestrange family is one of the few exceptions. Academic curiosity is quite important for them. The things they're interested in are often quite creepy though. That's why they usually go to Slytherin but there have been more Ravenclaws among them then among almost any other pureblood family."

I felt a twinge of excitement when I heard that. I wasn't going to tell the others that I had no idea who my parents were but I would definitely try to get information about the Lestrange family.

I ate the rest of my ice-cream and a ball of chocolate ice-cream as well, my appetite had returned.

When the feast was over, Professor Dumbledore got to his feet again. I quickly realised that he was going to give the serious speech now. We were told that the forest on the grounds was forbidden to students and that we weren't allowed to use magic in the corridors. He also mentioned Quidditch try-outs but I knew that I wasn't ready for that yet. Afterwards, he warned us that we weren't supposed to go into a corridor on the third floor if we didn't want to "die a very painful death."

If he had said this earlier this evening, I wouldn't have taken it seriously. After all this stuff about Dementors and torture we had discussed, I believed it now. There were dangers lurking here which I couldn't even fathom and I was totally dependent on others. For the first time, I started to have doubts if I really wanted to be here. Looking around, the answer was clear however. Yes, I did want to be here but was going to try to find out as much as I could as quickly as possible.

After the Headmaster's speech, we were told to sing the "school song" which was more of a joke than anything else. We were all asked to sing to our favourite tunes and I chose the song "From a Distance" which I had really liked when I had heard it on the radio. The words of the school song didn't make much sense; in my mind I heard the lyrics of the song and added my own. From a distance, this had seemed like a dream come true, but the doubts didn't want to go away completely. How could they jump from talking about mortal dangers to singing a funny song like this? Dumbledore was conducting the last singing students with his wand and clapped, seemingly amused by the song himself.

Then he sent us off to bed.

"First-years follow me," an older girl called. "I'm Penelope Clearwater, Ravenclaw prefect."

We walked behind her and I cast a quick glance at Neville Longbottom who was following the Gryffindors' prefect. I had offended him somehow but I had no idea how. Did they have freedom of speech here at all? Could I end up in this place called Azkaban simply for saying something wrong without even meaning to?

Penelope talked about a House Cup but I barely listened.

The food was lying heavy in my stomach. I really shouldn't have eaten so much.

Back at the orphanage I had always believed that I belonged into a world of magic. Now I was here but I wasn't so sure if I really belonged either. Maybe I'd always remain a stranger as my name prophesied, no matter where I was.

"Vivi, are you alright? You've been so quite?" Mandy asked.

"I'm fine. I think I've eaten too much."

Mandy smiled. "Me too. I just want to sleep now."

Sleeping was a good idea. Tomorrow, the lessons would start and I could look for the library to find out as much as I could. No matter what was going to happen, at least I wouldn't be alone. Mandy was with me as she had been at the Orphanage.


	6. Chapter 6 A Star Called Bellatrix

**AN: **The short excerpt from Snape's speech is from JKR, PS, UK-Version.

**A Star Called Bellatrix**

The following week was more intense than anything I had ever experienced before. My plans to do research in the library weren't carried out because I was too busy with everything else. I didn't really want to go anywhere on my own either.

One of the reasons for that was the entrance to our common room. When you rapped the door, the knocker would ask us to answer a riddle. I wasn't that good at this kind of thing. That's why I was afraid that I might get left outside if I arrived there alone. Having to sleep outside would be so embarrassing and everyone would think I wasn't good enough for Ravenclaw. I was quite scared they might think that anyway. I really didn't wish to go anywhere else, Ravenclaw house was wonderful. The people were nice, the rooms were beautiful, you could look all over the grounds from the tower, it had been founded by a woman and the emblem was an eagle. I had always loved birds of prey for some reasons.

Finding my way through Hogwarts was extremely difficult as well. That was another reason why I didn't want to leave the company of the others. I might get lost and there were dangerous things lurking here, Professor Dumbledore had told us that much during our first evening.

The poltergeist Peeves gave us quite a fright when we met him for the first time, but Roger and Morag's sister assured us that he was only annoying but not dangerous.

At least I had my wand back even though I didn't know how I could use it to defend myself yet.

On the first day, we received our timetables. Most lessons were only for us, the only exceptions were Herbology and Potions. The first was together with Slytherin, the latter with Hufflepuff. I didn't look forward to meeting Draco Malfoy and the other Slytherins three times a week but there was nothing we could do about that.

Our first lesson was Charms which was taught by Professor Flitwick who was also our Head of House. He looked a bit odd because he was very small but seemed to be. Flitwick spent the first lesson with various notices about school rules, house points and the House Cup which seemed to be quite important to the teachers. We would earn points for our house if we did well in class and could lose them for bad behaviour.

It was a rather clever way to keep us in line, I thought. People were motivated to do what the teachers told them and it was supported by their housemates who also wanted to win the Cup. In my old school, people with good marks often hadn't been too popular, especially if it was Mandy and me. Maybe that would change here but we couldn't know if we'd get good marks here as well of course.

During the second part of our lesson, we were finally allowed to do some magic. Flitwick showed us a spell called "Lumos" which made a light appear on the tip of our wand. This would be really useful if you got lost in a dark corner of the school.

I was extremely nervous when I tried it for the first time. I had never consciously used magic before. Flitwick seemed to know how inexperienced we all were and showed it to everyone. My hand was shaking slightly as I held my wand up and said the spell: "Lumos." A search of power seemed to seep through me and a bead of light appeared at the tip of my wand. I couldn't keep myself from grinning broadly.

"Excellent, Miss Lestrange," Flitwick said, clapping his hands.

Mandy didn't manage it when she tried for the first time but her second attempt was successful. We were quite happy about our achievement. By the end of the lesson, everyone could do the spell but few people had been as quick as we were.

After Charms I walked into Transfiguration quite confidently if a little too late because we had gotten lost on our way to the classroom.

Professor McGonagall looked at us with narrowed eyes. "I expect students to arrive in my lesson on time, Miss Brocklehurst, Miss Lestrange and Miss Turpin. I won't take any points from you today because it's your first week at Hogwarts but be warned; I shall do so if it happens again."

We apologised and I hoped that we hadn't given a bad impression right away. Professor McGonagall had already met us though and she knew that we weren't unreliable.

Professor McGonagall started her lesson with notices as well. She warned us that we weren't allowed to fool around in her lesson which we hadn't planned to do anyway. McGonagall was the Head of Gryffindor but our lesson was only for the Ravenclaws. If Morag's sister told the truth, she didn't favour the Gryffindors too much.

After she had finished her speech we had to write down all kinds of things. I didn't really understand much of it; you probably had to grow up with magic to do so. Afterwards we were given matches that we were supposed to transform into needles. After my experience in Charms, I hoped this was going to be easy but it was not. I could picture the match changing into a needle in my head and say the spell as much as I wanted, nothing happened. At first, the same thing was true for the others as well but after a while, Anthony Goldstein managed to turn his match pointy and silver. Professor McGonagall was quite pleased with him and I felt a twinge of jealousy. Lisa managed slight changes now as well, but my match stubbornly refused to be anything other than a match.

When Anthony's friend Terry Boot made his own match silvery as well, I started to grow impatient and frustrated. I could barely keep myself from screaming at the stupid thing to finally change into a needle. Instead, I used as much magical power as I could reach or at least, that's what I thought I did.

The match caught fire.

"Miss Lestrange be careful. Anger and impatience won't get you anywhere in this class," Professor McGonagall had seen everything of course. As if admonishing me wasn't enough, she also used the opportunity to make another little speech to the entire class. My face was burning with shame.

"Using a greater amount of force will not allow you to reach your goals in Transfiguration and neither in other branches of magic I daresay. Subtlety is in order if you want to excel in magic. I require you all to work carefully and precisely. At the moment, we're only transfiguring inanimate objects but soon enough, we will start to work with living animals. I'm not going to tolerate anyone making one of the animals suffer for his or her ineptitude."

Her eyes were boring into mine.

I felt anger mix with the embarrassment. She almost made it seem as if I was one of those children who enjoyed torturing animals for fun. There had been people like this at our orphanage. One of them had turned criminal and was in juvenile prison now, the second had stopped acting that way and the third had been moved to a special institution for problematic children. He kept hurting the other children he considered weaker. Luckily, he had quickly learned not to put Mandy and me into this category after he had received a taste of our powers. I had never harmed an animal though. I wasn't anything like them.

After taking a deep breath, I said: "I'm sorry Professor. I didn't know that something like this could happen and I will make sure that it won't happen again."

Professor McGonagall seemed to accept the apology. At least, she gave me another match so I could try again. It didn't work though. Now, I had become unsure as to how I could use my magic without causing trouble and nothing seemed to work anymore.

When I left Transfiguration, I was quite frustrated.

"Don't be upset," Mandy said. "McGonagall's supposed to be really strict I've heard. At least you did make something happen. More than I can say about myself."

Our first Herbology lesson didn't pose any difficult magical challenges but we had to meet the Slytherins. I prepared myself for a new argument with Draco Malfoy but he didn't seem to be interested in us at all. Instead, he kept going on about how annoying Harry Potter was and how everyone was supposed to favour him because he was famous, until Professor Sprout opened the door to Greenhouse One.

"I'd really like to know what's so important about this Harry Potter," Mandy said as we walked inside. Another point on our list of things we had to find out when we finally had the opportunity to do so.

Professor Sprout was a rather grumpy woman but I couldn't really blame her. We were supposed to fill plant pots with a mixture of soil and dragon dung fertilizer so we could plant our first magical plants later this week. The Slytherins obviously believed that this kind of work was far beneath them and didn't bother to hide their derision. I could imagine more enjoyable tasks as well but I knew it was necessary to plant something later and we were allowed to wear gloves.

Towards the end of the lesson, Draco Malfoy managed to throw a piece of dung on his shiny robes and started to fuss like the spoilt rich girls in some of the funny Muggle movies we had seen. The sight made both Mandy and me giggle.

"No surprise that you don't mind this," Malfoy said on his way back from the sink, screwing up his nose. "You're used to this kind of filth growing up with Muggles."

The insult completely missed its purpose, Malfoy's behaviour made us giggle even more. He swept away, shaking his head and muttering something about mud. I didn't understand the details and probably didn't miss much of importance. At least, Malfoy didn't seem to be a real threat. We'd just have to throw a bit of dirt to his face and he'd start talking about how he wanted to run to his daddy.

Tuesday night was our first Astronomy lesson. Getting there was a difficult and exciting endeavour in itself. The ten of us had decided to meet in the common room and stick together for this purpose; no one knew what dangers were lurking in Hogwarts at night. There had to be a reason that first-years had to be back in their common room at 8.00 pm.

With nine other people by my side, I wasn't too nervous though, despite of the strange noises that could be heard. I thought I heard some sort of eerie wailing when we walked past a toilet but the presence of ghosts was normal here after all. This must have been one of them. I wouldn't want to use this toilet though.

Creepy as it was, the journey to the Astronomy tower was quite enjoyable as well. We were almost late again though but Professor Sinistra didn't seem to mind too much. She was quite young and seemed very competent. Sinistra told us how to use the telescopes and gave us star charts. We were supposed to find as many stars as possible on the night sky and make a cross behind the name of each one we found.

We had never done Astronomy at primary school and I hadn't even known that stars had names until now. Finding the stars wasn't anywhere as easy as it sounded. Especially if you weren't used to looking through a telescope which probably was true for most of us. There were many parts on my chart which didn't have any crosses.

When I looked at it again, I felt a jolt in my stomach when I read one of the names. Bellatrix. I couldn't remember where but I was sure I had heard this name before. As the name of a person rather than a star. I really wanted to remember but I didn't work. I tried to find the star called Bellatrix but it was really difficult and I wasn't sure if I had found the right one. It felt really important to be sure though, that was why I asked Professor Sinistra for help when she walked past us.

"Excuse me, could you show me the star called Bellatrix please?"

"Of course," Professor Sinistra said, giving me a very sad smile. She let me look through the telescope and told me exactly where to look. Soon I had found the star shining brightly in the dark night sky.

I spent quite a while looking at it, looking down upon me from the sky. Professor Sinistra had already walked on to help the others.

At the end of the lesson, we compared our star charts. I hadn't done as badly as I had thought; no one had been able to find all the stars. Only Padma and Terry had been better than me. While Professor Sinistra explained a few things to us, I tried to look for Bellatrix again and I tried to remember. I did find the star but not the memories.

On our way back, other things caught my attention again however. The school was completely deserted now because the older students had to be in their common rooms at this time as well. Everything was dark and we had to use the Lumos spell to be able to see anything. I was really glad that I could do this without any trouble. When we passed one of the doors, there was a very creepy growling sound.

"Isn't that the third floor?" Lisa asked nervously. "The corridor where we aren't supposed to go?"

We walked one more quickly and I looked back to make sure that the door was still closed. I had read quite a few stories in which young heroes or heroines encountered dangerous monsters in old castles and I had liked them but I didn't really feel like experiencing something like this for real. I didn't have a weapon and no useful spells for fighting either. The only thing I could do was blinding the monster with the Lumos spell and I didn't think this would be very helpful.

We had all hoped that Defence Against the Dark Arts-class would remedy this problem but it did not. Professor Quirrell seemed to be extremely scared of his own subject, kept stuttering and his lessons were deadly boring. We didn't learn anything useful at all.

The only class that was even more boring was History of Magic. After reading the text book for this subject, I wasn't too surprised about this but Binns managed to make it sound even more boring. The fact that he was a ghost was the most interesting aspect of his lessons by far. History of Magic was a real waste of time and I was quite sad about that. I was really interested about the History of the new world I had entered but I probably wouldn't get any useful information about that from anyone official. The only useful thing I managed to do during History of Magic was writing a list of subjects I had to research:

- Magical families

- Harry Potter and the reason for his fame

- Magical etiquette

- Legal system and legal rights

- Magical history

Friday arrived really quickly this week. The day started with Herbology, the lesson afterwards would be Potions.

In Herbology we were finally allowed to plant something. It was only daisies which were supposed to be replanted from the small pots they had arrived in into larger ones we had prepared during our lessons before. I was happy to be able to plant something but the Slytherins complained about the boringness of daisies. Those spoilt brats were really annoying and they were making Professor Sprout unhappy with teaching our class, something we felt as well. She was speaking very curtly to me even though I was trying to do everything as well as possible.

"She's the Head of Hufflepuff house and both Ravenclaws and Slytherins don't get along with the Hufflepuffs too well," Padma explained on our way back to the castle. "Flitwick and McGonagall are the only Heads of Houses who are treating everyone fairly. Snape's much worse than Sprout though. He keeps favouring the Slytherins. We're really glad we don't have Potions with them. My sister Parvati has just had the pleasure."

Potions was taught down in the dungeons of Hogwarts, a place where we had never been so far. The idea of dungeons made me a bit uncomfortable and Mandy seemed to feel the same way.

"They're not locking people up down there if they've done something wrong, do they?" she asked.

"No, no," Padma reassured us. "They say it has supposedly happened in the past but not anymore. It's mainly used for Potions nowadays because the climatic conditions are good for storing the ingredients. The Slytherins have their rooms down there as well."

"Doesn't sound very pleasant," I said, once again glad about being up in light and airy Ravenclaw.

Parvati's sister Padma had been waiting for us on the way downstairs. She looked quite distraught. "You really have to be careful," she said. "There's already been an accident in our class. Neville Longbottom's in the Hospital Wing."

I hadn't seen Neville since we had arrived and I didn't really mind that. Not after the way he had acted at our last meeting. Still, I didn't want to see him harmed and was a bit worried.

"What's happened to him?"

Parvati sighed. "They did something wrong and he got covered in boils. Poor him, Snape was livid of course. He hates Gryffindor anyway. You should have seen him pick on Harry."

"I'm sure Madam Pomfrey will be able to put this right again," Lisa said reassuringly. "She's the school matron and she's really good I've heard."

"I hope so," Parvati said. "Neville's really unlucky. Probably born under a bad star."

Her choice of words made me think of Astronomy class again. Bellatrix, if only I knew.

"Thanks for warning us but we really have to get going now," Padma said. "We don't want to be late for Snape's class."

We managed to get lost again down in the dungeons, an experience I could have done without. Still, we weren't the last people to arrive. Some of the Hufflepuffs were even later but no one too late.

Snape was a thin man with half-long, slightly greasy black hair and very dark eyes. Mrs Richards probably wouldn't have let him stay near the orphanage. We had learned enough by now to know that wizards often had tastes that were very different from what we were used to however.

When Snape started to speak I couldn't help paying attention though. Something about the way he was speaking awakened some half-forgotten memory inside of me. Either I had met him before or someone, maybe my father, had spoken in a very similar manner. I knew one thing for sure; no teacher had managed to capture my interest in such a way before.

When he talked about the beauty of shimmering fumes, I started to smile with anticipation. The smile grew wider when he spoke about "the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins." This was an extremely fascinating subject indeed, as I had thought it would be.

"Ravenclaw house is famed for the intelligence of its members," Snape said now. "I hope that this year's Ravenclaw students will live up to this ideal but my hopes are low. That does not mean that I do not expect each and every one of you, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff alike to complete the tasks set in this class with utmost care and diligence. I do not wish to see any disgraceful displays such as I have seen in the lesson before."

He was probably talking about Neville now I thought. I'd try my best to get everything done well.

We were allowed to work together in pairs, Mandy worked with me while Lisa partnered with Padma. The potion we were supposed to brew was called Cure for Boils. Poor Neville had obviously managed to do the potion wrong in a way that made it cause boils rather than cure them. I really hoped this wouldn't happen to us. I did have a thing for simple healing magic but I didn't know if this would help me here.

"We simply have to follow the instructions carefully," Mandy said.

Snape had written them on the board even though the potion was in our book as well. At first, I thought that we could simply use our books rather than copying everything down but then I noticed that Snape's instructions were different in some places. So we'd better follow them.

At first, I was very nervous. I really didn't want to annoy this teacher or give the impression that I was stupid. As soon as I had started to carefully cut my ingredients I felt better though. Snape's presence wasn't important anymore; there was nothing besides me, Mandy and our potion. I put the ingredients into the cauldron, making sure that I added them slowly and at the right moment. The potion changed its colour for the first time and I was glad to see that it looked the way it was supposed to. Watching the colourful vapours was really as fascinating as Snape had said but I needed to take care of the work.

Snape walked past us, his long black robes billowing behind him. He was watching me intently for a moment; I turned back to my potion after a short glance. If I allowed him to distract me, it would go wrong. I was glad to see that Mandy seemed to feel the same way.

Snape walked on and we completed the next stage of the potion. It still had the right colour. When the double period was over and Snape checked everyone's potions, he paused in front of our cauldron as well. "That's acceptable, Miss Lestrange and Miss-"

"Brocklehurst, Sir."

"Miss Brocklehurst, yes." Without another word, he walked on. I was relieved.

I still felt impressed and excited at the same time, when we walked back up to the Great Hall. I knew that Potions would be my favourite subject. I had never done anything with the same amount of attention I had put into my potion. Professor Snape was rather intimidating but fascinating as well.

"You must have been really good," Padma said. "I've heard "acceptable" is really rare praise when it's coming from Snape."

"I think it's good that we're not with the Slytherins in Potions," Mandy said. "He doesn't have anyone to favour this way."

"Yes, we're quite lucky. We have neither Herbology nor Potions with the people from the teachers' houses," Lisa said.

I didn't really care about that at the moment; my mind was still full of potions.

Researching potions was another item on my list of things to do in the library when I finally found the time to go there. We finally made it there Friday afternoon but only managed to finish our first assignment from Professor Flitwick. Afterwards, Roger Davies turned up and told us that there would be Quidditch tryouts now.

Mandy and I considered it for a moment, but decided to watch the Quidditch tryouts in the end. We had seen books before but not Quidditch.

Actually watching people fly on broomsticks was great but I thought that flying yourself would be even better. Hadn't Professor McGonagall mentioned that we were going to learn that? When was this supposed to happen? I tried to learn from the people I watched.

At first, they were looking for a Keeper who had to keep the ball from the goalposts. It was rather easy to see who was good and who wasn't. When it was the chaser's turn, it became more difficult. We could hardly see who was flying better but it improved after watching for a while. In the end, they had found someone and we could go back inside. It was almost time for dinner now. I didn't mind though. This had been really interesting and it couldn't hurt to spend a bit of time outside.

Saturday was taken up by homework as well. It took really long; at least if you tried to do it the way we thought it was expected from a Ravenclaw. Professor McGonagall's assignment took the greatest amount of time. Transfiguration really wasn't my thing and I still didn't get the stuff I was writing down. Maybe I'd be better there if I did. It was really frustrating. I was a Ravenclaw and supposed to be intelligent and now this.

Our only break was for lunch; afterwards we did Herbology and Potions. When we had finally finished we managed to look up who Harry Potter was. Apparently, he had survived an attack with something called the killing curse carried out by a very powerful dark wizard who had killed Harry's parents before. So Harry like us was an orphan. He had barely ever known his parents because he had been only one year old when the attack had happened. For some reason, the killing curse had hit the dark wizard instead and now he was gone which made Harry famous.

"It must be awful to be famous for something that happened when your parents died," Mandy said. "People keep reminding him of this situation."

"Yes, I'm sure it's hard," I said. At least Harry knew who his parents had been though. He also knew that they had been something like heroes, it was much better than the things most of the others at the orphanage had experienced.

"It's strange that they don't mention the name of the wizard who tried to kill him," Mandy said. The wizard in question was referred to as either "You-Know-Who", "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" or "Dark Lord." We didn't really understand this but maybe it was some wizarding custom we weren't familiar with. We really needed to get more information about this kind of thing.

"I wonder if something bad's really going to happen when someone uses the name," Mandy said.

"Well, we won't find out because we don't know it," I said. I couldn't really believe this but I didn't know much about magic.

"Excuse me, we're closing now," Madam Pince the librarian told us and we sighed. No chance to find out anything more today. At least our homework was finished. I wasn't really looking forward to going through this amount of work every weekend. Maybe we'd be able to finish more quickly when we knew where to find the right books and how this magical stuff worked.

We planned to return on Sunday but Lisa had a different idea.

"We need a strategy. It can't be that we keep getting lost and waste so much time," she told us at breakfast.

"And what do you have in mind," Mandy wanted to know.

"Well, I can draw quite well. I thought we could try to find the shortest ways from the Tower and the Great Hall to our various classrooms and draw them on a map. This way we can look it up whenever we need to go somewhere. But I'll need help. It takes too long if I do it alone. Will you help me?"

We hesitated. We had wanted to learn more about the wizarding world but Lisa's idea was good too. It probably wouldn't take all day and we might be able to find everything better afterwards.

"Alright, let's do it," Mandy said and I agreed.

"I'm not sure if we're supposed to put the way to our Tower on there though," I said. "If someone loses it, the wrong people could find it. We have no locks and no password, only the riddle." This system didn't feel very safe to me but there was nothing we could do about it. At least, we weren't alone in the Ravenclaw rooms.

Lisa and Mandy agreed and we only did the other routes. We knew how to get from Ravenclaw to the Great Hall by now anyway, we had to go there at least twice a day after all.

Making the map took us much more time then we had expected. We had to walk through the entire school and finding the shortest way took even longer. In the end, we had a satisfying result but the day was almost over again.

We returned to our common room and Lisa made both of us copies of the new map. Afterwards, she wanted to explain to us how to play Gobstones and we didn't want to refuse this so we could go back into the library.

The game was fun and the last hours of our first week at Hogwarts passed quickly.


	7. Chapter 7 Nature's Nobility

**Nature's Nobility**

Our new map of the school proved to be really useful. We were able to find the classrooms much more quickly than last week. I was especially glad about this for Transfiguration; I really wanted to improve my first impression with Professor McGonagall. My match started to turn silvery this week as well, but I was one of the last people who were able to do this. Anthony, Terry and Lisa already managed complete needles during the last lesson of the second week. Only Michael Corner needed even more time than I did. Transfiguration was definitely going to be the subject I'd have to work hardest for if I wanted to do well in the final exam.

Potions still went well, it had become my favourite subject and I wished we had more Potions lessons. No one else really shared this wish though; my classmates didn't really like Professor Snape too much. I didn't exactly like him either but I didn't mind him. This might have to do with the fact that Mandy and I hadn't been on the receiving end of his sarcastic remarks so far. He didn't talk to us at all, most of the time. Snape didn't make much of an effort to teach us, that much was undeniable.

Charms was my second favourite class, Professor Flitwick was a really good teacher and I enjoyed performing spells. Astronomy was interesting as well and Herbology was okay, but the other two subjects remained as boring as they had been during the first week.

During the second weekend, we found a book about wizarding law. We tried to work through it but most of it remained rather cryptic. Letting the Muggles find out about magic seemed to be a severe offense, we really had to be careful there when we returned. Professor McGonagall had warned us about this already though and we knew about the story we were supposed to tell. The rule that underage witches and wizards weren't allowed to use magic out of school didn't really affect us because of that, we couldn't do it anyway.

Things like murder, robbery, fraud, rape or drug dealing were illegal for wizards as well even though some of them were named something else. The book didn't say anything about freedom of speech but there didn't seem to be any laws against criticising the government or anything like that. The most heavily punished crime besides murder was the use of the so-called "Unforgivable Curses." Unhelpfully, the law book didn't tell us what those were.

"Do you think we should ask Madam Pince?" Mandy suggested.

"I don't know," I said. Madam Pince wasn't exactly friendly and I didn't know how bad this stuff really was. Maybe the names of the "Unforgivable Curses" were like the name of the wizard referred to as "You-Know-Who" and something bad was going to happen if they were said aloud.

In some of the books about magic I had read before coming here, speaking a curse was enough to cause its effect. This wasn't true for the stuff we learned in Charms and even less though for the magic taught in Transfiguration but maybe it was in the case of the "Unforgivable Curses" and they were called this for that reason.

"Which way to use magic could be called "unforgivable"?" Mandy wondered.

I shrugged. I had no idea of the things that could actually be achieved by real magic outside of those we had been taught so far which wasn't very much. Were things like sacrificing your soul to a demon or enslaving someone else to your will really possible? I wasn't sure if I wanted to know.

"Maybe we should look for the history stuff," I suggested. "We might find something there."

This search turned out quite disappointing. We found a rather interesting book called Hogwarts: A History, but it mainly dealt with things directly relating to the school. This was fascinating but didn't really tell us much about the larger political situation which we had wanted to learn about.

"I don't like this. Maybe they really don't want to talk about their history," Mandy said. "Maybe it's censored and there's something in the Restricted Section. Do you think Professor Flitwick would allow us to read a book that's in there? We're Muggle-borns and need to know."

"I don't really think we should try something like that," I said. "We're really new here. He might think we want to know about bad stuff."

We still walked towards the restricted section and took a good look. I didn't see anything history-related but with a slight jolt I saw my last name. Someone named Rinaldo Lestrange had written a book called "The Art of Pain." If the title was anything to go by, it was nothing good.

"The True History of the Muggle Inquisition by Elladora Black, that might be interesting," Mandy suggested.

"Yes, but I don't think they'll let us read it," I said.

"No, they won't," a sharp voice said. "Access to these books is restricted for a reason. Get off!"

Madam Pince had approached from behind.

"Sorry," I said, looking at my feet. I really didn't want to get into trouble.

"We were only curious," Mandy added. I wasn't sure if the truth was the right answer in this case.

A thought came to my mind. When Madam Pince was already here, couldn't I ask her about something else? "Excuse me, do you know if there are any books about magical families in the library."

Madam Pince gave me a look through narrowed eyebrows. "You could try "Nature's Nobility," she said. "The third shelf over there, right in the middle."

"Thank you very much," I said and we walked over to the shelf she had indicated. We hadn't been there before. I saw a book titled "The Pure-Blood Myth-Why Muggle blood is necessary to keep magic strong" next to one called "The Development of Anti-Muggle Prejudice from Salazar Slytherin to Lord Voldemort." This book caught Mandy's attention. "Do you mind if I have a look at that while you research the families?" she asked.

"Of course not," I said.

At the far end of the shelf, next to a book called "The Pure-Blood Directory" I found what I was looking for. "Nature's Nobility, A Wizarding Genealogy." The table of contents told me that the book featured chapters about all the existing pure-blood families as well as a list of families who had gone extinct. The Lestrange family was covered in a chapter. I didn't need to leave through the book; it opened at the right page on its own as if it had read in my mind what I was looking for. Curiously, I began to read.

Under the family's name followed the family motto in a language I didn't understand. The book gave a translation though: "Whatever you do, do your best." I liked the motto in a way. I was definitely trying to do this. The Lestranges family colours where blue and silver and the family crest showed a falcon. It did seem familiar in a way. As "most common Hogwarts houses" the book mentioned Ravenclaw and Slytherin. A longer text with information followed.

_The Lestrange family is one of the pure-blood families of Norman descend which arrived in Great Britain with William the Conqueror. _

_The Lestranges claim to hail from a union between a Viking wizard named Thorolf Sigurdsson and Rigantona, the lost firstborn daughter of Hogwarts founder Rowena Ravenclaw. Some genealogists accept this theory while others consider it to belong into the realm of myth. According to them, the historical sequel of events renders it highly unlikely. The fact that the even the existence of Rigantona Ravenclaw is disputed furthers these doubts. _

_Some opponents believe that the Lestranges made this claim in an attempt to garner a higher amount of respect among old-blood families which distrusted them due to their role in the wizarding war following the Norman Conquest. The success thereof was limited however._

_The following statement by Francis Longbottom from 1689 illuminates this: "Even if the Lestranges' claim is true which I do not believe, they aren't entitled to call themselves old-blood. Putting it more bluntly, abducting, torturing and raping one of our women does not turn their family into one of our number and it is beyond me how anyone can assume it did."_

_Be that as it may, no one can deny the Lestranges a strong thirst for knowledge. The number of sons and daughters of this family with outstanding intellect is immense. They have made great contributions to many fields as diverse as magical theory and philosophy, potion making and the interactions of magic and body including various advances in the healing arts. Highly capable political leaders have also hailed from this family, among them well-known Minister for Magic Ricarda Lestrange._

_The Lestranges have always taken great care to keep their blood free of non-magical influence. With the esteem of being old-blood diminishing, the Lestranges have become sought-after marriage partners for most pure-blood families which is a highly welcome development. _

_The Lestranges reliably pass their intellectual prowess onto their offspring which is highly beneficial for pure-blood families who traditionally value other traits such as martial skills more highly. They do not suffer from any hereditary deficits if you do not count a certain affinity for the Cruciatus curse that is occasionally found among them. Their strength of mind normally keeps this from causing any serious trouble. These inclinations should not be furthered by marriages with witches and wizards of similar predisposition however. If this trait manifests simultaneously with a gift for healing magic, dangerous magical instabilities might result. In these cases, careful monitoring and magical support for the child are in order. This should not deter families with an affinity for healing magic from seeking alliances with the Lestranges however. Such cases are very rare and with proper care, no uncontrollable problems need to be feared. _

The text was followed by a long family tree beginning at the time of the Norman Conquest but only reaching up to the 1920ties and therefore being quite unhelpful for my search. I wasn't really sure what I thought about this. I didn't know if I was really related to this family and if I wanted to be. I loved the idea of being a descendent of Rowena Ravenclaw but being related to her because of "rape, torture and abduction" as this Francis Longbottom had said wasn't very appealing. Did Neville dislike me because there was some sort of century-old trouble between our families? I had read books dealing with this kind of thing as well but I always found it rather stupid.

I liked the idea of belonging to a family known for "outstanding intellect" but the rest of this paragraph read as if the book was about dog breeding rather than people. I really didn't like this kind of mentality. I had no idea what the Cruciatus curse was but I didn't like the sound of it. This probably meant that I didn't have an "affinity" for it. I did have something like healing magic though but this wasn't supposed to be a trait of the Lestrange family, was it? The book hadn't really helped me much.

I turned the page and found myself looking at the Longbottom family site. Their crest showed a branch from an apple tree and a few apples, really unusual. The family motto was in a language I didn't know again, but a different one. The translation read "Courage, Honour and Decency." Their house was Gryffindor.

_The Longbottom family is one of the few surviving old-blood wizarding families. The ancestors of the Longbottoms hail from the magical island of Avalon. They're related to the great Lady of Avalon Morgana and have been able to flee the island before its destruction following her death. To keep the memory of the Apple Island alive, the Longbottoms have chosen the apple tree for their family crest."_

I put the book away for a moment. So Neville's family did come from Avalon like I had always dreamed I did before I knew about magic? Unlike the story about the Lestranges' past, this was presented as fact. I wondered how much Neville knew about the real history of this place, the history that hadn't reached the Muggles. I sighed. Too bad he wasn't going to talk to me about it.

I remembered how his grandmother had thought I look like someone from a family called Black. Why not look them up as well now that I was here? As if it had read my mind, the book opened the Blacks' page at the beginning of the book. The Blacks were normally Slytherins and their coat of arms contained a sword and two stars. Their motto was "Tojours Pur" which meant always pure in French. The first sentence read almost like the first sentence on the Longbottom's page.

"_The Black family is one of the few remaining old-blood families. _

_Morgana's daughter Seren left the island of Avalon because she fell in love with a wizard from the main land, Taranis, called the Black One. In honour of Seren whose name can be translated as star, the Black family later began to name their children after the stars. The Black family gave birth to a huge number of brave and ruthless warriors both male and female. Every wizarding war fought to this day has had members of this family valiantly fighting in it. Often being natural leaders, other family members sought and found political power. Like Morgana herself, many Blacks found themselves attracted by the darker aspects of magic, usually succeeding in bending these forces to their will. Kallisto Black was one of the seven founders of the Knights of Walburgis in 1484 and one of only two witches in this group. _

_The Blacks' family motto has been adopted towards the end of the 15__th__ century in response to the growing threat from Muggles and consequently intermarriage between magical and non-magical people. The original motto of the Black family is no longer known. _

I skipped the part about the Blacks' supposed traits and suitable marriage partners and looked through the family tree. I wasn't too surprised to find the name Bellatrix there even though I couldn't be able to remember this person of course.

"Found anything interesting?"

I flinched. Mandy had approached me from behind.

"Yes, it's quite interesting," I said. "I don't like their attitude though. Reads a bit like dog-breading advice."

"I know who You-Know-Who is," Mandy said. She had obviously been bursting to tell me this. "He's the "Lord Voldemort" in the book I was reading talked about."

"Sh, I don't think you should say the name," I told her.

"Well, he's gone as far as I know," Mandy said. "And I'm really glad about it. He wanted to murder all Muggle-born people like me. And so-called "Blood Traitors" which is what you are if you're really from a magical family and still friends with me. He must have led some sort of terrorist organisation that murdered countless people. I'm really glad this is over."

"Me too," I said. So the magical world had to deal with fanatical terrorists as well. It obviously wasn't as wonderful as I had imagined but I had already realised this.

"This kind of thing might have been understandable in a way back when they were burning witches but nowadays?" I said. "It's really stupid. But maybe some of those people don't even know how Muggles live in the modern world. I don't think Draco Malfoy does."

"Quite likely," Mandy said. "We really should go to dinner now I think."

I spend the entire evening thinking about the Lestranges and the Blacks who really seemed to be the descendents of Morgana. During the following night, I dreamed about Avalon where I was sitting underneath an apple tree with Neville Longbottom until a man coming out of a Wiking ship tore me away from him.

The next morning, something completely different caught my attention. There was a notice in our common room that we would have flying lessons next Friday. I felt a jolt of excitement when I read this.

I'd finally have the chance to fly as I had always dreamed to.


	8. Chapter 8 Anxiety

**Anxiety**

I was really excited about learning to fly but the other Ravenclaw girls didn't really feel the same way. They all preferred reading to flying and were quite nervous. Very much unlike the people from other houses I overheard during meals in the Great Hall. Mandy however was more than just nervous. She had been very quiet and reserved ever since our last research in the library. I didn't really understand that but she didn't answer me, she actually seemed to be avoiding me. This wasn't like her at all. We had argued in the past of course, but we had always known what it was about. We used to shout at each other, be angry for a short while and make up afterwards.

This time, I had no idea what might be bothering her.

During Transfiguration on Wednesday, Mandy was the first one to do our second transfiguration right. Professor McGonagall awarded her ten points and praised her in front of the class. When a teacher in our old school had done this, she had always been really proud and glad because she could do well even though she was from the Orphanage. This time, she didn't look happy at all. After class, she fell behind rather than walk to the Great Hall with Lisa, Padma an me.

I couldn't leave her like that of course. "We'll be down later," I told the others and walked back to Mandy.

"Hey, what's wrong with you? You were really brilliant."

She shrugged. "It doesn't matter, does it?"

Mandy got up and started to walk into the opposite direction.

"Mandy, what's the matter?" I asked, following her.

"Leave me alone."

"No, I won't. Not until you tell me what's wrong. What do you think I've done?"

"You haven't done anything wrong," Mandy said and walked on. I continued following her.

"It's not you who's the problem, it's me," she said. "I just don't belong here. You're probably some sort of pure-blood princess or something but no one wants me here. They don't even think my parents have been real people."

She didn't stop walking; maybe it was easier for her to say this while on the move. Was she jealous because I might be from a magical family? What good did that do me? They obviously hadn't wanted me or else they were dead. Unlike Mandy, I had never had the chance to really get to know my parents.

"They call them "Muggles," it's an insult itself, isn't it? My parents were people and so are Andy, Aurora, Ms Leakey and Mrs Richards."

"Of course," I said, realising that this was about more than jealousy. "Of course we're all people. Only some of us are people with special abilities. Don't listen to idiots like Malfoy. They don't know what they're talking about."

"You know, I can't laugh about this anymore," Mandy said. "Not after the stuff I've been reading in this book. They're dead serious about this, Vivi. To them, we're vermin that needs to be killed off, well, I am."

I hadn't read the book Mandy had read but I couldn't believe that many people here really thought stuff like that.

"This You-Know-Who person was a mad murderer," I said. "They often believe the weirdest things. Everyone's glad that he's gone, that's why Harry's seen as a hero. There are murderers and terrorists in the Muggle world too. Some serial killers hate and murder women. We don't start saying that we don't want to be girls anymore because of them either, do we?"

Mandy smiled sadly. "Ms Leakey would be glad to hear you say that. I really miss her you know. And Aurora and the others as well. I'd love to have maths again, or literature class or arts class or all the stuff we did in the past. Magic's really fascinating and everything but I don't think it's all there is. I don't. You seem to be really comfortable here. That's why I think they might have a point. Maybe people like me really don't belong here."

I sighed. So she felt homesick too. She was right in a way, for some reason, I hadn't felt this way so far. There were so many new and wondrous things here, maths and literature couldn't really make up for them in my opinion.

"You know, I don't really want to be in a place with dark magic and corridors were we might get killed and teachers who have been in trouble with vampires. I'm sure Quirrel has a reason to be so scared."

I didn't really believe that but I had thought about some of those things too. Especially on my first evening here. "This has been making me uncomfortable as well," I said. "I'm not sure I really belong here either. I still don't know what I did to make Neville Longbottom hate me. He isn't acting like that to anyone else."

"Well, because he's too scared I think," Mandy said. "That's worrying me too you know. He's one of those "pure-bloods" and he's so scared of everything. I'm sure he knows horrible things about the Wizarding world and that's why he's acting this way."

"If you want him to tell you, you really need to stop hanging out with me," I told her. "He seems to hate me for whatever reason. Other people whisper as well when they see me. Not in our own year but some older students and some of those from the other houses. Professor McGonagall and Professor Sprout both don't seem to like me and Snape basically ignores me all the time."

I wouldn't really have preferred nasty remarks from him but it was a bit strange. I hadn't said this aloud so far but it had been at the back of my mind all the time, maybe even one of the reasons why I tried so hard to find out about my family.

"I don't think I really did anything wrong when we met Neville anymore," I said. "There must be something I don't know. And that's why I want to find out the truth. Not because I want to be special or anything. I don't think the truth is very nice you see."

"I didn't know this," Mandy said. "You seemed to blend in so well. I think I'm really a bit jealous because you really belong here, not like me. But maybe you're right and it's not such a great thing at all. These things I've read have really scared me though."

"Yes, I think this is a much more dangerous place than Muggle Britain," I admitted. "But that's why we need to stick together and talk to each other."

"Yes, you're probably right," Mandy said. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too. I was really a bit too obsessed with the families," I said.

"Where are you two going?" an unfamiliar voice asked.

Both of us flinched and turned around. Behind us stood no other than Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster. I wasn't sure if I should be relieved or even more scared. Mandy clapped her hand in front of her mouth. "Oh no, we're standing in front of the forbidden corridor. Professor, I'm sorry, it was my fault. Vivien and I have been talking and we didn't watch where we were going."

My throat felt tight. This was one of those mistakes you really shouldn't make in a place like this one.

Professor Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling; he didn't seem to be too angry. "Don't worry. It's normal that people get lost a few times during their first weeks here. I'm sure you weren't trying to get in there. May I still ask your names?"

We told him our names and Dumbledore nodded. "I see. I happened to overhear some parts of your conversation."

Mandy blushed and my face felt very hot so I probably did as well.

"It's quite natural that you are thinking about those things," Dumbledore said. "Especially for Ravenclaws who greatly care about knowledge."

Professor Dumbledore's remark made me think that I might have a chance to get an answer.

"Professor, there's something I'd like to ask you. We've met Neville Longbottom in Diagon Alley and he seemed quite nice. Later on the train we've met him again and defended him from a few other people who were picking on him but he didn't really want help from us. He refused to talk to either of us ever since." That was the most polite way I could phrase this without getting anyone into trouble or at least I hoped so. Mandy gave me a disbelieving look.

"I've been wondering ever since if I've done something to offend him but I don't know what it could have been."

"It is very considerate of you Miss Lestrange to ask yourself if you made a mistake rather than judge the other person," Professor Dumbledore said. "I'm certain that Mr Longbottom's behaviour towards you isn't due to a mistake on your part though. You don't have to worry about that anymore. Maybe he will tell you why he has reacted that way some time."

I couldn't keep myself from sighing in exasperation. I had given up hope that this would happen by now.

"Can't you-" I felt Mandy step on my foot. "Vivien," she whispered. "Don't."

"I'm sorry Miss Lestrange but I can't. Mr Longbottom has the right to tell you himself if he wishes to do so," Dumbledore said. "By the way, knowing isn't always blissful and neither is ignorance always a burden. Miss Brocklehurst has learned this lesson already."

How comforting, I thought but didn't say it aloud. I didn't want to be so rude towards the Headmaster of course.

"You should better hurry up to get dinner," Professor Dumbledore told us now. "Being well-nourished is of utmost importance to the hopeful young mind."

After this, Mandy and I were talking to each other normally again. Still, something had changed. I had always been really certain that nothing could come between but I wasn't so sure anymore. I was wrong if I thought I could take our friendship for granted as I had started to do during the years, I had to make sure that Mandy knew I cared about her.

Dumbledore's cryptic remarks had been rather annoying. I knew now that whatever happened must have either been extremely bad or highly embarrassing for Neville. I hoped that it was the latter; this wasn't so unlikely, highly embarrassing things kept happening to Neville on a regular basis. The Gryffindors and Slytherins had their first flying lesson a day before us and just like his first Potions lesson it ended in the Hospital Wing for Neville as we learned from Parvati. He had broken his wrist while falling off his broom.

This information made Padma and the others even more nervous than they had been in the first place. I didn't really think Neville's misfortune was a reason to worry myself though. He had gotten himself into the Hospital Wing in his first Potions lesson too and mine had been really good. There was no reason to believe that flying had to be different.

Our own flying lesson was scheduled for Friday afternoon, a time where there were no other classes. Roger Davies, Morag's sister and Parvati decided to accompany us to support us and in Roger's case see if there were any promising Quidditch players among us.

The Hufflepuffs had brought some support as well. There was one person I recognised, Nymphadora. She walked over with a smile when she saw me. "Hi, Vivien," she said rather shyly which surprised me coming from the now turquoise-haired girl.

"Hello Nymphadora," I said.

"Don't call me Nymphadora," she replied loudly, suddenly glaring at me I wasn't quite sure if she was really angry. "It's Tonks."

I had been taught that only using people's last names was rather rude but if she wanted it that way. I kept calling her Nymphadora in my head though.

"I'm sorry," I said. "Didn't want to be rude."

"No problem," said Nymphadora. "Do you have any plans for later?" A few of the other Hufflepuffs giggled, Nymphadora gave them another one of her glares.

"Not really," I said, wondering what she was up to.

"There's something I'd like to talk about," Nymphadora said.

"Alright," I said. My curiosity was definitely awakened.

Before I could ask anything else, the flying instructor Madam Hooch arrived and told us to line up next to the brooms. I whispered to Mandy and Lisa that they shouldn't wait for me later before turning my attention to the lesson. The brooms on the floor looked completely ordinary. Would we really be able to fly with them? I'd know soon.

The first thing we had to do was getting the brooms to jump into our hands. At the first try, mine only turned around but when I used my commanding voice that had been really useful against annoying people at the orphanage, it jumped into my hand.

Madam Hooch showed us how to sit and hold onto the broom afterwards. If anyone from the orphanage had been watching we had given a very strange sight indeed, twenty eleven-year-olds sitting on old broomsticks. I could feel some sort of magic in it though and I had seen others fly before during Quidditch practice. It was possible; I only had to get it right.

Madam Hooch told us to rise into the air a few feet and come back down by leaning forwards. "No one starts before I've blown the whistle," she said. "And be careful! Only a few feet. We already had an accident yesterday; I don't want to repeat that."

"Three two," she blew her whistle. My heard beating violently, I kicked off the ground slightly. The broom started to rise into the air. It was really true, I was flying. My hands were sweaty and I had to close them around the broom's handle very firmly so I didn't lose my grip. This kept me from really taking the sensation in.

"Come back now," Madam Hooch called. I leaned forward and the broom did really go down. Right before I reached the ground again, I didn't manage to hold on anymore and ended up headfirst on the ground. After the initial shock, I realised that I hadn't hurt myself and started to giggle in relief while I got up again. Some of the others laughed as well now that they knew I was fine.

The second attempt already went much better and after the third I was one of those allowed to fly an entire round over the field. We had to go one by one, Madam Hooch was sitting on her broom as well, ready to take off if something went wrong.

I managed the first part quite well now and carefully shifted my weight to turn the broom. It worked.

"Try to fly a straight line!" Madam Hooch yelled.

Only then did I realise that my broom was drifting slightly to the left. I tried to readjust it and everything got a bit shaky but then I managed to do as she had said. The broom was flying steadily and I had the chance to think. I was really flying on a broom; the others were watching me from the ground. It seemed far away even though I wasn't flying too highly. I was really flying; one of my dreams had come true.

And my father hadn't been a drug dealer who gave his products to his baby daughter, he had been a wizard. I had once lived with a magical family in a great house with a garden. Now that I knew that flying was real, I knew that the rest had been as well.

I had never remembered the time when I had been flying for the first time as well as now. My uncle had been grinning and so had I. I hadn't been scared back then because I had been sure I'd be safe with him.

Someone had felt differently though, my father. "Barty, get down with her immediately," he shouted.

When we had gotten down, he asked angrily: "What do you think you're doing taking her on a broom? It's much too dangerous."

"It's not dangerous, I've been careful," her uncle Barty his expression slightly worried now. "Vivi needs to start practicing early. She needs to become an excellent Quidditch player, don't you think?"

"Barty, you're such an immature brat."

"I think Barty's right," someone else said. A woman with long black hair. "Our daughter needs to start learning everything young. I don't want her to embarrass herself in her first flying lesson."

"You see," the grin had returned on Barty's face. "Your wife agrees with me."

"Miss Lestrange, come back here!"

Madam Hooch's voice pulled me back into the presence. I looked around and realised that I had flown way too far. I turned the broom around and returned. My fear had gone almost completely. Well, at least until I had to go down again. This still posed a bit of a challenge, I wasn't supposed to lean forward too much but too little wasn't enough. I managed it somehow though and ended on my feet.

"Good, Miss Lestrange. This little detour was unnecessary though. You'll get plenty of opportunity to fly in future. Miss Turpin, you're next."

I avoided looking at any one of them. They wouldn't understand why there were tears on my face.

"I didn't embarrass myself, Mum," I whispered so quietly that no one could hear. I knew I was far from becoming an excellent Quidditch player but I'd practice hard. I was going to make Uncle Barty proud wherever he was now.


	9. Chapter 9 Cousins

**Cousins**

When the flying lesson was over, I'd almost have walked away with the other Ravenclaw girls.

Nymphadora's voice stopped me though: "Eh, Vivien. Wait, I wanted to talk to you."

I stopped in my tracks: "Sorry," I mumbled. "I wasn't really thinking. I'm not used to flying you see." This was really embarrassing. How could I have forgotten that she wanted to meet me?

Nymphadora smiled. "Of course. Dad told me it was the same for him. Must be for everyone raised by Muggles. Will you come with me?"

I told the others that I'd come to Ravenclaw later and went with Nymphadora.

"We need a quiet place to talk," the older Hufflepuff girl told me when the others were out of earshot.

My curiosity was awakened. In the past, things I was supposed to keep secret from others had always worried me but Professor McGonagall's arrival had told me that they could be important and interesting as well. It was possible that she was simply pulling a prank but I didn't really think so. Hufflepuffs weren't like that or so I had heard.

"Let's go to the Greenhouses," Nymphadora said. "There shouldn't be anyone there. There are no lessons Friday afternoon."

When we reached the Greenhouses, we were proven wrong quickly. An odd sniffing sound could be heard.

"What the, has someone come here to cry or what?" Nymphadora asked.

When we walked to the backside of Greenhouse One, we quickly found out where the noise was coming from. Neville Longbottom was sitting there, sobbing into his hands.

"Oh no," I muttered. By now, I had learned enough to guess that Neville wouldn't be glad to be seen like that, especially not by me.

Nymphadora frowned, obviously wondering if she could chase him away or not. Before she could make a decision, Neville looked up.

"What are you doing here?" he asked wiping his face with his sleeve. As if this would make us not notice that he had cried.

"We were looking for a place to talk," Nymphadora said. "No need to be so pissed off."

Neville looked shocked at her language. His grandmother probably didn't allow him to talk like that. He didn't seem to know what to do next. Neville wasn't confident enough to pick a fight, especially not with someone from seventh-year but he didn't want to walk away like a coward either. Not that this would have surprised anyone.

"Who are you?" he asked after a while.

"Simply call me Tonks," Nymphadora said. "And who are you if I may ask?"

"My name's Longbottom. Neville Longbottom."

"Pleasure to meet you, Neville Longbottom," Nymphadora said more pompously than necessary.

"What do we have here?" someone else said.

I looked around, startled. Draco Malfoy was standing there. We had been lucky indeed. We hadn't found a quiet place but run into the only two people in my year I've had real trouble with, Neville Longbottom and Malfoy.

"The Mudblood-spawn, the Squib and her," he stared at me his face full of loathing. "As if it's not enough when Mudbloods steal magic, they've started stealing names as well."

Malfoy yelped in pain, holding his leg.

"Stinging hex," Nymphadora said. "Next time you use the M-word it'll be the Cruciatus curse."

Neville had gone pale. "This is, is illegal," he stuttered. "You can't."

Malfoy laughed. "Longbottom's already wetting his pants. So pathetic."

"The only thing that's pathetic is someone who has to walk around insulting random people to feel better," Nymphadora said. "It's enough now. Longbottom, you take the way to the right and Malfoy the one to the left."

Neville was glad to get away from Malfoy, Nymphadora and me but Malfoy was more reluctant. "I'm not taking orders from a Mu-Muggle-born."

Nymphadora grinned. "Oh, I think you do. Move your ass away, Malfoy." She drew her wand pointing it at him threateningly.

Malfoy eyed it warily. He obviously knew that he couldn't do enough magic to really have a chance against her. With a last derisive look into their direction, he turned away and walked off.

Nymphadora gave a satisfied grin. "Those first-years are getting more and more insolent each year. I don't know where that shall end," she said talking like an old woman on purpose.

"Well, they seem to be gone now," I said. "What do you want to tell me?"

"I think I know something about you that I should tell you," Nymphadora said.

"Something about my family?" I couldn't think of anything else she might need to talk about and her mother Andromeda had looked so familiar. "Please tell me."

"Well, I'm your cousin and so is the charming young gentleman we have just met."

"You're my cousin?" I asked, staring at her in disbelief.

"Yes, I am. My mother used to be the sister of yours."

I didn't really understand what she meant when she said "used to be" but probably that my mother was dead. My heart was beating very fast and I had so many questions that I didn't know where to start. I still wasn't quite sure if she wasn't joking either though. Some part of me did believe her though. Why else would her mother have seemed so familiar?

"And who else is my cousin? Neville?" This might explain his behaviour somehow.

"Neville probably is some very distant cousin of yours as well," Nymphadora said. "The pure-blood families are all interrelated. I was talking about Malfoy though. His mother is the sister of both our mothers."

"You must be kidding," I said.

Neville had claimed something like this on the train and I had put it down to some sort of mental illness. And now, this girl said the same thing? I didn't believe that Nymphadora was mad but she might think that joking about this kind of thing was funny. She didn't know what it was like to live without parents after all.

Nymphadora sighed. "I'm not. Our mothers are all sisters. They come from a pure-blood family called Black. Do you know what pure-blood means?"

"Yes, I do. I've read a few things about magical families. Do the Blacks really descend from Morgana of Avalon?" This would explain why I had always felt this connection to her even though I couldn't have met her for real.

Nymphadora shrugged. "I have no idea. My Mum's not real into this stuff anymore. She's married a Muggle-born you see. That's why Malfoy's acting the way he does. For them, that's a sacrilege."

"I've heard about that too," I said remembering this unwholesome subject matter that had bothered Mandy so much. "It's stupid really. There's no real difference between wizards and Muggles other than the magic."

"You don't have to tell me," Nymphadora said. "I know my Muggle grandparents and we get along really well. The family our mothers come from disagrees though. My mother Andromeda was disowned when she told them that she loved my Dad. They even threatened to kill her."

"How horrible. I'm really sorry." This sounded almost like the things that happened in some immigrant families when the daughters brought "shame" on their family by loving the wrong person. I really didn't like the idea that this kind of thing was done among British wizards as well. Mandy wasn't so wrong to be worried about this place.

"Mum was the middle sister," Nymphadora said. You're mother Bellatrix was the oldest and Malfoy's mother Narcissa the youngest."

"Bellatrix," I muttered. "Bellatrix was the name of my mother?" I had always known that I had heard this name before but I had had no idea. The memory of the dark-haired woman returned and now I remembered my father calling her that as well, Bellatrix. The name had sounded even more beautiful when he had spoken it.

"Yes, you mother was called Bellatrix. She and Narcissa both married pure-bloods. Lucius Malfoy, Draco's father and Rodolphus Lestrange. He's your father."

"Rodolphus Lestrange? So I do belong to this pure-blood Lestrange family, the Norman one?" I didn't think of doubting Nymphadora's words anymore. I had already believed that I was indeed related to this family and now I knew it was true. The only pure-blood family that was known for their intelligence but also for less positive things.

"Yes, you do. You are a pure-blood," Nymphadora said. "If that's important for you."

"Not that way," I said quickly. "I just, it's really fascinating to think that I come from a long line of witches and wizards."

"You didn't know about magic before you got your letter, did you?"

I shook my head. "No. I knew that Mandy and I could make strange things happen and I had those memories but I never really knew. I've always been interested in magic though. Deep down, I did know I think."

I fell silent. Talking so much to a person I hardly knew wasn't a good idea even if she claimed she was my cousin. There were so many questions I was burning to ask. I wanted to know where my parents were now and why they had given me up of course but I was a bit scared of the answer. That was why I decided to ask something else first. It did worry me too.

"Do you know what the Cruciatus curse is?"

Nymphadora gave me a startled look. "Why do you ask that of all things?"

I didn't really understand why this seemed to bother her. She had just threatened Malfoy with the very same curse, hadn't she? I considered using this as an excuse but decided to say the truth after all.

"I've read that members of the Lestrange family as supposed to have an "affinity" for that and it didn't sound like a good thing."

"Really?" Nymphadora asked. "That's funny. They say the same thing about the Blacks."

I didn't think this was funny at all. "So it wasn't such a good idea that they got married?" I asked remembering the breeding advice in the book.

Nymphadora gave me a perplexed look. "I have no idea. Anyway, the Cruciatus curse is the torture curse. It causes extreme pain. One of the three Unforgivables."

"Oh, I see," I said remembering the book called "The Art of Pain." Maybe it was about this curse and the person called Rinaldo was really an ancestor of mine. "You wouldn't really have used it on Malfoy, would you?"

"No, of course not. I was only joking. It's the most harmless one of the Unforgivables though I think. It only causes pain without any injury or anything else."

I began to understand some things better now. "So that's why Professor McGonagall thinks I might enjoy hurting animals," I said slowly. "Because my family has a reputation for this kind of thing. I don't though, I never felt like doing this." I hid my face in my hands. "Well, sometimes at the orphanage, my magic did hurt people who annoyed me. Is this normal?"

"I don't know about normal but it happened to me too once or twice. Mum was a bit worried but I don't think it means anything," Nymphadora said. "Don't worry. You don't catch dark magic like a fever. Learning and using it is always a choice."

I hoped she was right. I really didn't want anything to do with torture curses. Why did such a thing even have to exist?

"Let's talk about something else," Nymphadora suggested. "Mum was really livid when she found out about you. She suspected you could be related to her but didn't want to say anything of course. She didn't want to bother you before she knew anything for sure. McGonagall didn't really know either but Dumbledore did. I haven't seen Mum so angry often. She would have looked after you of course but no one bothered to tell her that you even exist."

Nymphadora was right. This new information made me forget about the Cruciatus curse right away. I had always dreamed about an unknown relative who would come for me and take me away from the orphanage, we all had dreamed of that and in my dreams she had been a witch. Now I found out that I really did have a witch aunt but she had never known about me so far. I really wanted to get to know her.

"Do you think I could meet her?"

"Of course. Mum and Dad would like you to come on Christmas. My Muggle Grandparents will be there too though. If you don't mind that."

What a question. "Of course not. I've been living with Muggles for so many years."

There was one thing which did bother me though. Mandy would be terribly upset if I spent my holidays with a magical family while she had to return to the orphanage on her own. I couldn't do that. We had been friends for so long, I didn't want to hurt her so I could meet people I had never met before.

"That's really nice of them but I don't think I can come," I said. "My friend Mandy lives at the orphanage too and I don't want her to spend Christmas there alone."

"I'll ask Mum and Dad if she can come too," Nymphadora said without hesitation. "The more the merrier."

"I don't want to cause so much trouble," I said.

"Don't worry, Mum won't let you cause trouble. If she doesn't want something, she says so."

"Thank you,"

I said. I really didn't want to be a burden for the Tonks family but I still hoped desperately that Nymphadora's mother would say yes. I had always dreamed of having family and now that might come true next to the dream of magic.

I had to ask this other question now though. I simply needed to know. "What happened to my parents? Why did they give me away?"

Nymphadora's face turned serious. "They're in prison."

"In prison? Azkaban?" The torture prison Azkaban where people had all happiness stolen from them? The thought was horrifying.

Nymphadora sighed. "Yes, Azkaban. You already know about it?"

"Yes, I do. We talked about it at our first day. "Why are they there? What did they do?"

My parents were in prison, like Andy's. That explained the whispers in the corridors of course. Andy had gone through the same mess.

"They've been Death Eaters, followers of You-Know-Who. You know who that was?"

"Yes, I do. He was the maniac who led a terrorist organisation that attacked Muggle-borns, wasn't he? And my parents were members of this group?"

I took a deep breath. I had really wished to hear something else. This Voldemort person seemed like a complete madman. None of the things he said made the least bit of sense. Calling his followers "Death Eaters" didn't make him any more likeably either. My own parents had been people who believed that someone like Mandy should be killed. And now they were sitting in this terrible prison because of that. It was an utter nightmare. In my memories, they hadn't seemed evil at all but maybe they had been very different towards people they hated. This kind of thing had happened in the Muggle world, why shouldn't it happen here as well?

Tears were streaming down my face and I didn't bother to stop them. I had believed that I had belonged to a great and rich magical family and lost my parents to a magical accident or something and now this.

Nymphadora put an arm around me. "I'm really sorry," she said quietly. "I would have liked to tell you something else but that's the truth. Mum has told me about your mother. She hasn't always been like that, but after school, she got involved with this You-Know-Who and she became totally obsessed with him. Before that, they used to meet in secret, but afterwards Mum was a "Blood Traitor" and she threatened her. Your father used to be a Healer; these are something like magical doctors. He even treated me at the hospital when I was little but then he turned to You-Know-Who as well and became a completely different person. They let him change them but that doesn't mean anything about you, Mum said."

"It sounds almost like some sort of cult," I said wondering how my parents could get involved in something like that if the things in "Nature's Nobility" were true. Shouldn't they have been cleverer than that? Especially Dad if he had really been something like a doctor. I wanted to ask them about this myself. Andy was visiting his parents in prison regularly.

"Do you think I could visit them at Azkaban? I'd like to ask them about that myself."

"What? No, you can't visit Azkaban. That's not possible. High Ministry official might be allowed to go there but no one else. You wouldn't want to go there either. It's not a place for a child."

I had heard about Azkaban from the other Ravenclaws of course and I knew that she was probably right. The idea of going there frightened me but I still wanted to see my parents. Living in this place must be so terrible. Even the very thought frightened me and my parents had been living like this every day. Maybe they already felt sorry for what they did but they had no chance to ever show it because they were stuck in prison forever. Not like Andy's parents who could get out earlier if they did well.

"I'm sorry, it's really not possible," Nymphadora said. "It must be really hard to learn all this I know. Maybe I should have told you another way but I'm not that good at this kind of thing."

"No, it's not your fault." That much was clear for me. "It's really nice of you and your Mum to look after me at all after everything my parents have done to you. You could simply hate me."

"What your parents have done isn't your fault," Nymphadora said. "No one can blame you. And I think you're a good person, not like Draco." She wrinkled her nose.

"What are you two doing here? It's getting dark. Back to the castle and quickly," a gruff voice said. It belonged to Professor Sprout who was carrying a garden rake.

We got up quickly before we came in closer contact with the garden rake.

"Thank you very much for telling me, Nymphadora," I said when we had reached the Entrance Hall from where we had different routes to our common rooms.

"Don't call me Nymphadora, its Tonks."

"I can't call my cousin by her last name, can I?"

"Alright. Dora then."

"Well, Dora. Thank you for telling me."

"No problem. I'll tell you what Mum thinks about Mandy. Bye Vivien."


	10. Chapter 10 Magical Music and a Troll

**AN:** Thank you to everyone who has reviewed or favourited the story or who's following. I'm sorry for the long delay and have to admit that I found it wasn't so easy to go on from the last chapter because it did bring quite a change in tone. I hope I was able to deal with it properly now.

I didn't change Tonks' age on purpose. According to my own maths, Tonks should really have been in her seventh year during Harry's first. In OotP, it says that she's finished Auror training one year ago which makes her 21 and six years older than the trio-members if she's finished Hogwarts aged 17. The Lexicon makes her one year older though which is likely if she was born earlier in the year. I will keep it that way for the story but it is clearly stated that she hasn't been a Prefect. Thus I'm going to change this part.

She was one of my favourite characters and I really hated her off-screen death by the way. Not even the information that Bellatrix killed her was mentioned in the actual book.

Alright, enough waffling and on with the story. This has been my longest author's note so far.

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**Magical Music and a Troll**

My aunt and uncle didn't mind having Mandy visit for Christmas as well. I was glad about that of course but it also meant that I had to tell Mandy about my family. I should do this anyway though. We had promised each other to talk about everything important after all. In this case, it was rather difficult though. I knew very well how Mandy felt about Voldemort. Telling her that my parents had been his supporters was out of the question, at least at the moment. Therefore In the end, I decided to tell her that they were in prison because they had used illegal dark magic. This was probably true I thought. Voldemort and his supporters were known for this after all.

Mandy sighed when she had heard it. "Like Andy," she said. "That's probably why some people are talking. Well, you know it's got nothing to do with you. It's been the same for Andy."

"Yes, you're right." Andy and his situation had given me a bit of comfort since I had known. At least I knew now that Neville's reaction had nothing to do with me but only with my parents. I hadn't done anything wrong as I had feared all the time. Unlike me, Andy could visit his parents regularly though. They were in a normal British prison that respected their rights. The same was not true for my parents. Azkaban had to be a very horrible place. I had asked Anthony about it again but nothing he told me was very comforting. I'd really like to see them or at least write them a letter so they knew I hadn't forgotten them. Too bad I didn't know how to do this. I couldn't simply send one of the school owls to Azkaban, could I? I didn't really want to ask anyone either. Maybe my aunt and uncle would tell me something when I visited them.

Mandy sighed. "Wizards seem to have a strong tendency to judge people for things they have no power over. Such as the family they're born into. I'm sure getting to know your aunt and uncle will be interesting though. Seeing adults dealing with that who aren't teachers. I'll stay at the orphanage the second week though. Andy and Aurora will miss us as well."

"Yeah, you're right. I might do that too. Or I'll visit at least."

I had to write to the orphanage though they knew that I would stay with my relatives anyway. Until now we had planned to return there during the holidays. I was quite nervous. Nymphadora (I kept referring to her by her first name in my head) was really nice but I didn't know what her parents would be like. I hoped they didn't blame me for my mother's behaviour towards them but probably not or they wouldn't have invited me.

"Hearing it directly from someone will be better than reading about it," she added.

I didn't feel like going to the library to read more about the past anymore. I was scared of finding horrible accounts of Azkaban or maybe of my parents' crimes as well. They probably had done something in the service of this madman and I was certain that it hadn't been anything good.

Mandy didn't seem to want to continue our research without me either. We had enough school work to keep us busy anyway. Afterwards, both of us preferred relaxing with the others in the common room to spending even more time in the library.

Finding my way through the school wasn't a problem anymore. I didn't feel as nervous as I had felt in the beginning anymore but I did stay wary whenever I was out on my own.

This happened rather frequently since Nymphadora had told me about my parents because we wanted to meet and get to know each other better. Nymphadora knew of a rather handy room on the fourth floor where we could meet in privacy and were provided with anything we wanted. Well, with the exception of food which the room didn't give us due to some law. I quickly forgot the name again, Nymphadora had probably only mentioned it to laughingly show off the fancy terms she knew.

She had been living in the wizarding world all her life and was familiar with all the things that were new to us. We didn't talk much about our families anymore though. Nymphadora confirmed that it wasn't possible to simply send an owl to Azkaban. Most of our meetings were spent with Nymphadora telling me about wizarding careers, fashion and music which seemed very important to her.

"I want to become an Auror. My marks are good enough but I'm still not sure if they'll accept me. I'm rather clumsy you see. Not while I'm duelling but maybe we'll never get that far."

"An Auror?" I asked, finally getting one of my last open questions answered. "What does an Auror do?" So they really existed. It wasn't much of a surprise but I still hadn't been sure.

"Aurors catch dark wizards. A bit like the Muggle police but not ordinary police. Something for the more serious crimes. They only admit people who are really good. That's why I'm not sure."

"Ah," I said in sudden understanding. "They arrested my parents; put them into Azkaban, didn't they?"

"Ehm, yes," Nymphadora said, her hair changing to a mousy brown which always happened when she was embarrassed. "Sorry, I didn't think about that at the moment. But it's their job. They have to do this to protect the others. If people don't harm others, they won't get there."

"Yes, I know. It's alright," I said even though I wasn't sure if it was. Did anyone really deserve being taken to such place? My parents hadn't seemed like bad people at all in my memories and neither had uncle Barty. Why did Nymphadora want to do this of all things?

She had probably realised that the subject made me uncomfortable and didn't say anything about Aurors anymore.

Instead, she told me of the various styles of dress robes which were worn on formal occasions. Pure-bloods often chose robes in their family colours, blue and silver in my case as I remembered. There were other rather old-fashioned variants and more modern ones which showed their wearers opinions on more than clothes. I hoped there wouldn't be any occasion where I had to wear any of those.

"I don't like this either," Nymphadora told me. "Mum sometimes drags me along to these Ministry balls though, she works there you know and I have to wear them there. We're not allowed to wear family colours though."

"What does your Mum do?" curiosity overcame my fear of unpleasant news again.

"She works at the Committee on Experimental Charms," Nymphadora explained. "It's not as exciting as it sounds though. At least her job isn't. Plenty of theoretical stuff for safety before they can actually do anything. She has found a new spell to test the strength of leak-proving charms on cauldrons so far." Nymphadora shrugged.

"This sounds fascinating," I said. There might be good reason for the "safety stuff" if spells could have dangerous side effects. Flitwick kept warning us about that.

"Do you really think so or are you joking?"

"I really think so," I assured her. "What does your father do?"

Nymphadora grinned. "He's a news reader on the Muggle news. Thinks is funny. He doesn't want to sever ties with the Muggle world completely either. Having Muggle money can't hurt if the Goblins decide to rebel again or something."

This was almost more interesting than the job of Nymphadora's mother to me. It obviously was possible to live in the Muggle world even if you were a witch. Probably with some tutoring and magical papers such as Professor McGonagall had brought to the orphanage but still possible. If I decided that absolutely didn't like it here, I could still continue living as a Muggle and so could Mandy.

The room also provided us with the necessary equipment to listen to wizarding music. Wizards didn't use tapes to record music but something that looked like crystals. The colour of the crystal depended on the group and they went with pieces of parchment describing the songs. There were magical gramophones as well Nymphadora told me but the crystals were easier to take with you.

She didn't really like the singer Celestina Warbeck but still had some songs by her. Her mother was a fan. I perfectly understood why Nymphadora didn't like the music. The lyrics made us both giggle like mad. The only acceptable song by her was the team anthem of a Quidditch team called Puddlemere United. It was called "Beat Back Those Bludgers, Boys, and Chuck That Quaffle Here"and the lyrics weren't much more intelligent than those of the other songs but at least, the song was much faster and had a memorable beat.

"Warbeck has donated all the money she got for this to Saint Mungo's," Nymphadora told me.

I didn't like to show my ignorance again but I could only learn if I asked. This was part of the Ravenclaw motto after all. "What is Saint Mungo's?"

"It's the wizarding hospital," Nymphadora explained. "The place where the Healers are trained and work."

"Is that where my father used to work?"

"Yes, exactly."

I sighed. Why hadn't my father kept working as a magical doctor rather than join those terrorists? I could have grown up with him and we could all have been happier.

"Let's listen to some really good music now," Nymphadora suggested. "The Weird Sisters. I really like them even though they're a bit mainstream."

Nymphadora's taste and mine didn't seem to be too different. Maybe it was because we were related. I liked the Weird Sisters as well and we both had plenty of fun when Nymphadora tried to teach me the accompanying dance to one of the songs.

When we checked the time again, it was quite late, at least for me. I didn't want to admit that I was scared of returning to my common room alone in the dark of course. Nymphadora certainly wouldn't understand that. I was a bit nervous because I might get into trouble with teachers as well. For someone who wanted to join the police, Nymphadora didn't seem to care about following the rules too much.

I was lucky though. I made it back without meeting either teachers or any dangerous things. I made sure to avoid the corridor on the third floor where I had heard this strange growling noise.

Turning around one corner, I heard the voices of Professor Snape and Quirrel but they seemed to be busy with some important conversation of their own and didn't look out for students.

I was really glad when I finally made it back to Ravenclaw tower though and decided to be more careful in future.

Halloween obviously was an important date in the magical community. The entire castle was decorated with pumpkins and many dishes with pumpkin in them were served as well. At dinner, live bats were flying around in the Great Hall. I grinned at the thought of Ms Thomson back at the orphanage. She had always been strictly against celebrating Halloween because upholding such "pagan traditions" might damage us. Ms Leakey had been rather offended by this because according to her "pagan traditions" weren't a bad thing. We hadn't celebrated Halloween though, maybe because Mrs Richards didn't want to annoy Ms Thomson.

At Hogwarts, they didn't seem to be interested in any traditional meaning of Halloween or if they were, no one told us. Maybe it was one of the things magical children were simply supposed to know without being told.

The food was definitely good and different from the things we usually got to eat. This was a nice change even though the Hogwarts food was always excellent compared to the things we had gotten to eat at the orphanage.

I had kept the tendency to be one of the first to arrive at meals and eat relatively quickly because I might not get a second serving if I didn't. This way I had already finished my first plate of food when Professor Quirrell came running into the hall, looking pale and frightened and stuttering about a Troll in the dungeon.

The tumults which followed these words told us clearly that this was really serious. People on all the house tables seemed to be scared. I was worried too but I still thought that all the teachers and the great Professor Dumbledore should be able to deal with a Troll, whatever that really was. Wasn't Professor Quirrell supposed to teach us how to defend ourselves? He didn't seem to be very good at this himself.

A few loud bangs made me shriek. The next moment, I felt my face go red. The bangs had come from the Headmaster's wand and had actually been supposed to make us quiet. With most people who weren't me, this had worked reasonably well. Now everyone on the Ravenclaw table seemed to stare at me. How embarrassing. At least, they turned their attention back to Dumbledore a few moments later.

He used the relative quiet to tell the prefects that they should lead us all back to our dormitories. Our Prefects did their best to make us form an orderly group. Mandy and I were used to this but the others obviously were not and thus it took a while. There were six prefects for Ravenclaw and each of them took one year of students, the seventh years were supposed to look after themselves. Penelope was the one leading us again.

"I'm really glad we're in one of the towers," Mandy said. "Far away from the dungeons, isn't it?"

"Yes. I hope they'll manage to get rid of this Troll. Are they really dangerous?" I asked.

"Well, they're very strong and large," Anthony said. "Rather stupid as well though. The teachers should be able to deal with them without too much trouble."

"But what if we walk into it?" Morag asked.

I really didn't want to imagine that.

"We won't," Penelope said. "And even if we do, we older students will be able to deal with it too."

I hoped she was right. I couldn't think of any useful spells to fight a troll of. There were a few in my DADA-book but I had never practised them so far. Professor Quirrell never gave any practical lessons. He only told us to avoid dangers and that we should always carry garlic with us.

Our seventh-year Prefect suggested that the oldest students should walk at the both ends of our group so they could defend us if necessary. This was quickly arranged. Ravenclaws always tried to analyze any situation. I really hoped it would get us safely to our house.

"I'm not really worried about the troll but I'd like to know how it got in here," Lisa said. "They're too stupid to do this on their own. Someone has done it and he must have had his reasons. There must be a person who wants to put us into danger and I really don't like this."

I hadn't thought about this before but Lisa was right. This was worrying indeed. The Troll would hopefully be gone soon but the person who had let it in not. No one knew who it was. I really needed to be more careful and I was going to tell Tonks that I wouldn't meet her in the evenings anymore. We had enough time on Friday afternoons and on the weekend. She might think I was a coward but I didn't want to put myself into unnecessary danger. I still didn't know nearly enough to stay safe here.

Even though we all had claimed that we weren't scared of the Troll anymore, we were relieved when we finally reached the entrance to Ravenclaw tower. One of the seventh-years answered the right and finally got in.

"I don't think there's any place in this school where you're safer from a Troll than the Ravenclaw common room," Anthony said. "They'd never make it in here."

Despite of this, no one really felt like sleeping yet. Some of the others complained because they hadn't had a chance to finish eating. Mandy and I smiled at each other. Our orphanage tactic had saved us from empty stomachs this evening. The others tried to remedy the problems with chips and sweets. Penelope started lecturing them on healthy food but we all thought that this situation made an exception from this rule acceptable.

Before anyone was tempted to eat too much of these unhealthy treats, the problem was solved by some magic sending the food into our common room. Mandy and I allowed ourselves a second helping as well.

We kept discussing how the Troll might have entered the school but no one had a really convincing theory. After about an hour, Professor Flitwick came into our common room.

"Good evening, students," he told us. "I have good news for you. The Troll has been knocked out and is removed from the school at this moment. Three Gryffindor first-year students fought sneaked away from their housemates to fight it. They were lucky and survived but I still have to advice strongly against this kind of thing."

Padma raised her hand: "Gryffindor first-year students? Was one of them Harry Potter?"

"I didn't wish to give you the students' identity but I don't approve of lying either. Yes, one of them was Harry Potter."

Some of our housemates broke into awed whispers. I thought that Trolls weren't actually as dangerous as this reaction by the school staff had implied. Otherwise, the first-years wouldn't have been able to deal with it even if one of them was the great Harry Potter. As far as I had heard, he wasn't exactly an extraordinary student.

Everyone was glad that it had ended well but we'd still like to know how the Troll had been able to enter the castle. Professor Flitwick didn't know this either though.

Mandy and I were slightly worried when we went to bed this evening and I lay awake for a long time.


	11. Chapter 11 Family

**AN:** As always, thank you for your reviews. I hope you'll like the new chapter.

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**Family**

The following weeks passed without noteworthy events, at least as far as Mandy and I were concerned. Harry Potter had his first Quidditch game in November. Many people found this extremely interesting and kept speculating about his chances. He seemed to be the youngest Quidditch player since a very long time.

I didn't really care about Harry Potter. I knew now why people thought he was a hero but to me, he seemed rather ordinary even though he had somehow managed to win against that Troll. I knew how evil Voldemort had been and I didn't approve of his actions at all but I still knew that if it hadn't been for Harry Potter, my parents probably wouldn't be in this terrible place and I wouldn't have grown up in an orphanage. This made it even harder for me to "admire" him.

I was still worried when his broom suddenly started to buck and tried its best to get him off though. I had never seen a broom act like that. Not that I had that much broom experience but I had used every chance to practice with the school brooms. I wanted to make Mum and Uncle Barty proud after all. No broom had ever tried to throw me off even though some of them didn't really want to go where I wanted to go.

Harry's broom however seemed to be determined to get him down, it was really strange. The Slytherins used the diversion to score goal after goal. Fair-play really didn't seem to matter to them.

In the end, Harry managed to get his broom under control again though and somehow caught the Snitch. I didn't see how it happened but the Slytherins kept arguing over something. Their complaints were ignored though and the Gryffindors were declared winners. I applauded along with everyone else. I didn't really care one way or the other but Parvati was at least one Gryffindor I knew and got along with which I couldn't say about any Slytherin.

The lessons during November and December went the way they usually did. It was really surprising how quickly we had ended up in a daily routine even though we were in a school that taught magic instead of our usual subjects. After the episode with the Troll, no one took Professor Quirrell seriously anymore at all. I really hoped that the rumours from the older students were true and we'd get another Defence Against the Dark Arts-teachers next year. Quirrell's class was so useless.

Snape seemed to be rather tense as well. He took five points each from Mandy and me for "laughing in class" which was rather fair compared to the three points Hannah Abbott from Hufflepuff lost for "breathing too loudly." She started to cry after that. Unlike Quirrell, Snape seemed to be very competent in his subject matter but he obviously believed that none of us really deserved his attention. Of course, an adult Potions Master would know much more about the subject matter than eleven year old students such as ourselves but I don't think he should have become a teacher if he wasn't able to cope with that.

Charms kept going well while I tried my best to keep out of trouble in Transfiguration. I knew now why Professor McGonagall might think badly of me and I didn't want to give her any reason to do so. Therefore I tried my best to remain calm and keep the object I tried to transfigure whole. Most of the time, this worked reasonably well. I still was in the bottom third of class in Transfiguration but I didn't cause any more catastrophes.

Two weeks before the Christmas holidays started, Nymphadora informed me that her parents had spoken to the people from the orphanage. Mrs Richards obviously had required a rather large amount of papers before she believed that Andromeda Tonks really was my aunt but now she did and I was allowed to stay with her and Mandy was as well. This was settled now which meant that I would be staying with family members over Christmas for the very first time. No Ravenclaw was going to stay at Hogwarts over the holidays but some people from other houses did. During Herbology, Draco Malfoy made fun about Harry Potter because he had no family to go home to. It was rather pathetic I thought. My relation with Draco Malfoy wasn't something I was proud of. I preferred to keep it quite from him as well. He probably wouldn't want anything to do with me anyway and I didn't feel like trying it out either. Nymphadora was by far my favourite cousin. Malfoy still called me "Mudblood" and I didn't feel like correcting him at all.

The Hogwarts Express ran at the beginning of the Christmas holidays as well. I was really excited when I got on. I had seen Aunt Andromeda before and she had seemed nice enough but back then she hadn't known who I was. I was scared of embarrassing myself as well. I knew so little about the magical world and I had never lived with a really family either. At least not since I could remember. Mandy was rather nervous as well. She even felt physically uneasy and unusually tired. Her headache kept returning no matter how many times I made it vanish with my wandless magic. I still had this talent which was so much unlike the spells they taught us at Hogwarts. It knew how to do it without using a spell or learning it. At least my pain-causing powers hadn't surfaced at Hogwarts so far. There had been no reason for them to do so. I didn't have serious trouble with any of my fellow students.

Mandy's reasons to be were similar to my own and she also feared they might dislike her because she was a Muggle-born and not related to them.

"Nymphadora's father is Muggle-born as well," I told her. "I'm sure they won't mind that."

Padma and Parvati spent the entire journey closely together. They had many things to tell each other from the different houses. Lisa seemed happy to finally see her family again. "I really like it at Hogwarts but I'm still glad to come home again."

When the witch with the food trolley arrived, Lisa bought sweets for everyone. On our way to Hogwarts, I hadn't been able to taste any of the magical sweets like Berti Bott's Every Flavour Beans and Chocolate Frogs. The Frogs were good and I got a card showing the first woman who became Minister of Magic. She had lived back in the 18th Century. Wizards had obviously been more progressive than Muggles in that aspect. Muggle women hadn't been allowed to participate in politics during that age. At least something I thought. The Beans were a rather risky kind of food but I had rather ordinary flavours with the exception of one which tasted like extremely hot chilli. This was still much better than some other possibilities though.

When we had finished eating our sweets, Nymphadora entered the compartment. She was accompanied by a rather handsome boy her age who had dark hair and grey eyes that looked a bit like my own. He wore Gryffindor robes.

"Hi Vivien, do you have a minute?" she asked.

"Of course," I said. "See you later. And thanks again, Lisa."

I left the compartment. Nymphadora made sure that the door was closed well. "I don't know what you've told the others about your family," she said quietly when they had left. "I didn't want to get you into an embarrassing situation."

"I've warned her," the boy said. He had a pleasant, deep voice. "There are plenty of people who give me shifty looks for my last name and I'm not the son of the more infamous family members. My name is Roger Lestrange. We are second cousins I think."

"Oh, hello. I'm Vivien Lestrange. Sorry, I'm a bit confused. I had no idea that I have so many cousins."

Roger grinned. "Yes, we're a rather widespread family. Everyone believed that your side didn't leave any offspring though. Your parents kept your existence secret from everyone. No idea why. Not even your grandmother knows. At least, she's never mentioned you."

"I have a grandmother?"

This was surprising news indeed. The more I learned about my family, the less I understood why I had been taken to that orphanage. Why hadn't they left me with one of my relatives? And why had they never tried to find me? There were many new questions I wanted answered.

"Yes, she's been living with my grandparents since I can remember," Roger told me. "You'll probably hear from her during the holidays. I've only heard it from Dora here a few weeks ago and I thought that's not something you tell people in a letter."

That sounded reasonable to me.

"Well, I'd like to get to know them. There are many things I want to find out about," I said.

"I'm sure you do. I've heard you've grown up in a Muggle orphanage," Roger said. "They'll be shocked when they hear this. The family used to be very obsessed with blood purity and some of them still are."

"Used to be?" I asked.

"Well, some of us aren't so much into it anymore. Not after we've seen what it does. I really don't want to bother you with all this stuff now. Times are changing and that's true for our family as well."

"So that's why you're in Gryffindor?" I asked. "I've read about the family and it said that Lestranges are Ravenclaws or Slytherins."

"Yeah. My aunt's been there as well though. Times are changing. Slytherin only has the bad sort anyway nowadays."

Thinking of Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle I had to agree with this.

"I'm glad you've made it into Ravenclaw," Roger said. "It's the better choice. I'll write to you during the holidays and I'm sure I'll see you around."

"I'd really like to get to know you all," I said. It was true even though this was rather overwhelming.

When I returned to our compartment, Mandy looked rather miserable. Lisa was trying to comfort her.

"Hey, what's the matter?" I asked sitting down beside her.

"I don't know. I think I've eaten too many sweets. I'm feeling really queasy. You know, I really don't want to be ill when I visit your Aunt and Uncle. I'd only be a burden."

"You're probably only nervous," I said. "And the Tonks probably have some sort of potion against it if you're really ill. Wizards can deal with the flue and this kind of stuff really easily." I had heard that from Lisa who had been cured of an infection with vomiting after only a day at the Hospital Wing.

"I hope so," Mandy said. "I don't want to make them ill as well."

I wasn't sure how to react to this. I didn't know the Tonks myself and I wasn't sure how they'd react to it. They probably wouldn't be happy about having to deal with a sick visitor though. No one would.

When we reached King's Cross, Mandy felt slightly better but not much. We hugged Lisa and the Patils goodbye before we went looking for Nymphadora and her parents.

The Tonks found us rather quickly. Aunt Andromeda really looked very much like my Mum, only her hair was brown rather than black. Her husband had blond hair and a rather pronounced belly. Both hugged Nymphadora and Andromeda hugged me as well. At first, I was a bit taken aback but she reminded me of my mother so much that the moment was gone quickly.

"Hello Vivien, I'm so glad to see you," she said. "I don't get why the Aurors didn't inform anyone, I really don't get it. We could have looked after you, we-"

"Now let the girl breathe," her husband interrupted. "Hello Vivien, nice to see you. And hello, you must be Mandy, right?"

"Yes. Hello Mr and Mrs Tonks and thank you for inviting me as well," Mandy said very quickly.

"Everything alright? You look a bit peaky," Mr Tonks or maybe Uncle Ted said.

Mandy sighed deeply. I'm really sorry. I think I'm a little bit ill. I understand if you don't want me to come then of course. I'm really sorry."

"Don't be foolish, Mandy," Andromeda said. "You didn't choose to become ill. The usual Muggle afflictions do not harm us so don't worry. And if it's something magical, you're much better off among wizards. Come on, let's go."

"You really mean it?" Mandy asked.

"Of course I do. And listen Nymphadora; do you really have to have pink hair? People are staring."

"So what?" Nymphadora asked. Her hair was bright bubblegum pink, really a gaudy colour.

A few feet away, I heard a blond witch in a long fur cloak talk to Draco Malfoy and an arrogant looking blond man who had to be his father. "Look at the half-blood's hair. How can she walk around like that? It's awful. And who are those girls they have with them?"

"It's none of our business, is it?" her husband said.

"Those are two Mudbloods from my year," Draco Malfoy said. My fist clenched while Andromeda's mouth became very thin. Mandy blinked.

"Mind you're language," Draco's father reprimanded before whispering something. If Draco's grin was anything to go by it had been something very "funny" at our expense.

"Come on. We won't let them spoil our holiday spirits, will we now?" Ted asked and we followed him away from Platform 9 ¾ and towards the Muggle part of the station.

The Tonks had a small car; at least it looked small from the outside. When we went in, we soon found out that there was enough room for all three of us to comfortably sit on the backseats. I ended up in the middle between my cousin and my still rather pale friend. Ted drove the car, he was probably more accustomed to this kind of thing that his pure-blood wife. The Tonks had somehow managed to bewitch the car radio so it received the Magical Wireless Network. The program wasn't that different from Muggle radio stations though, only the songs were different.

"When we're at home, I can show you some less mainstream music," Nymphadora said. "I'm sure you'll find some of it interesting."

"Really Dora, Vivien's much too young for this," Andromeda said. "I really think you should stop listening to it. Especially if you want to become an Auror. Some of those songs are on the index and they're there for a reason."

"Oh Mum, there's nothing wrong with those songs. They only sing about stuff the Ministry wants to keep quite."

"I'd really like to hear them," I whispered to Nymphadora. I was really curious about songs that would make in on an index in the magical world.

The Wizarding radio mainly played songs from Celestina Warbeck and some magical Christmas songs. Therefore no one really minded when Ted changed to the Muggle program so he could hear the traffic report.

The journey to the Tonks' house was rather long and I was quite tired when we finally arrived. The Tonks' house had a rather high wall around it, probably to keep Muggles from seeing anything magical going on. The door bell and the postbox looked exactly like those we knew from the Muggle world. The garden had a few flower patches and a part where the Tonks grew vegetables and herbs as well. At the moment, there wasn't much growing there though.

Behind the door, there was a small hallway and a wooden stair led upwards. "You both sleep upstairs," Andromeda said. "You can choose who wants to stay in which room. Please don't try to get into my study though. There are protective spells on the door."

"Of course not," both Mandy and I promised. We'd never do anything like that. Having a room to ourselves was a luxury we had never experienced since we had been in the orphanage. It might be for the best with Mandy being ill though. I wouldn't bother her when I went in and out of the room.

Mandy decided to lay down for a while which both everyone understood. "Tell me if it's getting worse," Andromeda said. "If it's a magical disease we might need professional help."

Mandy promised she would before closing the door to her room behind her.

I went with Nymphadora. She had her own apartment under the roof with a large room and a bathroom. "So, do you want to listen to the other music now?" she asked, turning her hair black. "And by the way, if you think you have to use my first name here, please call me Dora like Dad."

"Alright," I said. "Dora then."

She opened a drawer and got a black music crystal out. The booklet was rather dark as well. "This is the album my mother dislikes so much," Dora explained. "It's called "Unforgivable" from the group ICA. They sing about the Unforgivable curses. The band's really quite old. It was banned completely during the war but now only two of the songs are banned now. Some people think you shouldn't sing about this subject but I don't think so. If it's treated normally, it's not so frightening anymore."

I wasn't sure about that. I didn't really know enough to judge. The booklet contained song titles like "Green is the Colour of Death", "Queen of the Cruciatus Curse" or "The Art of Pain." I remembered the book with that name. It had been written by someone who had probably been related to me in some way. I asked Dora if we could listen to this song.

We did and the song began with a spoken part: "In 1698, Rinaldo wrote: There is a curse which is commonly called the "Cruciatus." It is one of the most potent forms of magic at our disposal. Those who seek to use it have to use it with care or else it will bring destruction of unknown measure upon themselves and their victims."

The song itself was about the Cruciatus curse and the things it could be used for. Forcing people to give information, breaking Memory Charms, breaking enemies' spirits and consensually as a part in games between husband and wife. I had no idea under which circumstances husbands and wives would want to consensually use magic that caused unbearable pain and I didn't think I wanted to know.

If this man really had spoken so soberly about such things, I had to admit that my family was really rather strange or at least this Rinaldo-person had been.

I wasn't going to tell Dora so but I sort of understood why these songs had been banned and why her mother didn't want her to listen to them. I didn't really want to know what the forbidden songs called "Imperio", "Insanity" and "Her Last Wish" were about if this one was still legal.

When Dora decided to show me songs from another group, I was relieved. This group was called "Serpent Whisperers" and their album "Tales from the Shadows." One of the songs was called "Lament of an Azkaban Prisoner" which made me curious of course. Dora didn't want us to listen to this though; instead, she played her favourite song.

It was called Moonlight Love and was a rather sad story about a young girl who fell in love with a werewolf. Her family and friends didn't want to accept this though. In the end, she let herself be bitten so she could live with him among the werewolves but had to endure painful transformations each month and leave everyone else behind. The song was rather sad but I really liked the voices of the singers, a man and a woman. The sounds weren't quite as rough as those from the singers of ICA. I could imagine that the story reminded Dora of her own parents. Her mother's family hadn't approved of their love either and Andromeda had been forced to leave the people she had known before.

"Do werewolves really exist?" I wanted to know.

"Yes, yes they do," Dora said. "People aren't allowed to kill them anymore but there's still this stupid prejudice. Being a werewolf doesn't turn someone into a monster all the time you see. It's not their fault that they've been bitten. The curse only affects them on the full moon. Most people always distrust them though. Mum does so as well."

"They really turn into a wolf on the full moon?"

"Yes, they do. It must be very painful. There's a potion that keeps them from attacking people now. It's rather expensive and most werewolves can't afford it though. Really stupid, isn't it?"

"Yes it is. If it keeps people safe, they should give it to them for free," I said. I hadn't believed wizards were so greedy as well but probably everyone was the same there.

Someone knocked on our door. "Dinner's ready, ladies." The voice belonged to Ted. We followed him downstairs.

Mandy wasn't at dinner. "She's asleep," Andromeda told me. "She has a slight fever. I think we should let her sleep. If it's not better tomorrow we should call a Healer."

I sighed. "Poor Mandy. Why does she have to get ill during the holidays?"

"Well, such things don't come when they're convenient," Andromeda said. "I don't think it's anything serious though. Don't worry."

Dora kept telling her parents about Hogwarts while I was rather quiet. I didn't want to bother my Aunt and Uncle with difficult questions on my first day with them. Before I started asking, I wanted to know more about them.

"I don't understand how Dumbledore can hire someone as incompetent as this Professor Quirrell," Andromeda said after Dora had spent plenty of time complaining about his useless classes. "Young people need to learn how to defend themselves probably. Dumbledore should make more of an effort."

"Well, you've taught Dora plenty of stuff, haven't you?" Ted said. "Some of it borderline legal isn't it?"

Andromeda looked only slightly ashamed. "There aren't many things where I agree with my parents but I think children should be well-prepared for the dangers outside. The poor Muggle-borns have no chance at all if there are no proper teachers. I'm not really happy with Dumbledore as Headmaster. He has too many tasks and doesn't focus on running the school."

"I think Dumbledore is a good Headmaster," Dora said. "A powerful wizard like him has to fulfil other duties. I'm sure we'll get a better DADA-teacher next year."

"I hope so," Andromeda said. "Even though I don't like this discontinuity either." She shook her head. "After Christmas, I want to practice a bit with you, Vivien. Mandy as well when she's better. There are some basic defensive spells someone simply should know after his first year at Hogwarts or better even before."

"Thank you," I said. I was really interested in learning defensive spells. Especially if Trolls and the like where common at Hogwarts, I'd like to be able to defend myself somehow.

Now that I was involved in the conversation, all the Tonks started asking me questions about my life among the Muggles. They seemed very relieved that I had been treated well. Especially Andromeda had obviously feared that it might have been different. I told them lots of stories about the other children at the orphanage, the Muggle school and our early magic. I didn't tell her the entire truth about my magic though, only that I had been able to defend us with it sometimes. My magic was rather strange and I didn't want them to know before I could judge how they'd react.

When I told them about our first contacts with the magical world I mentioned the meeting with Neville and his grandmother as well.

"Oh, the Longbottom boy is in your year at Hogwarts? I always thought he was younger," Andromeda said. "Might just have been because it took him so long to show any magic of course."

"You know the Longbottoms?" I asked curiously.

"Distantly," Andromeda said. She seemed rather tense all of a sudden. "Frank Longbottom was one of the respectable young pure-bloods my mother hoped to set me up with. We got along quite well back then and we've been to Hogwarts together a few times but there's never been more."

She smiled at her husband. "I've only ever loved Ted even if none of them wanted to understand."

"So the Longbottoms are respectable for these pure-blood people?" I asked.

"Generally speaking yes," Andromeda explained. "Frank and Alice Fawley, the woman he eventually married were very close to Dumbledore though. A grave mistake if you ask me. Aurors as well. Therefore they were seen as traitors even though they married within pure-blood cycles. Why do you ask? You're not already looking for suitable partners, are you?"

"Of course not," I said and realised that this sounded rather rude. "I'm sorry but I think I'm way too young for that. I'm only curious about those families. I haven't known that they exist at all since a few months ago."

"Of course, this is only natural," Andromeda said. "The boy, Neville Longbottom, has never been strongly magical; people already suspected he might be a Squib, a Muggle born to pure-blood parents. It might be an effect of pure-blood inbreeding and of other things as well. He probably doesn't do very well at Hogwarts, does he?"

"I don't have any classes with him but he doesn't seem to. He keeps having accidents. In Potions for example. I don't understand this. Potions is rather easy if you do everything properly."

Dora rolled her eyes. "Potions easy? Definitely not."

"Well, you did get your O with enough practice," her mother said. "Your father has been an excellent Potions maker as well, Vivien. You probably have inherited this from him."

I got a warm feeling when she complemented my father. I considered asking more but decided against it. I didn't want to ruin the positive moment by any discussion of his later criminal career.

There'd be plenty of time to talk to Andromeda and by now I believed that she would be able to answer many of my questions. She seemed to know a lot about the pure-blood families even though she wasn't welcome among them anymore.


	12. Chapter 12 Like a Fairytale

**Like a Fairytale**

I didn't sleep very well during my first night at the Tonks'. I couldn't remember having slept alone in a room ever. It was hard to sleep that way. It was rather embarrassing. I was far too old to be scared of being alone in the dark but at least no one knew..

At breakfast, this was quickly forgotten. Mandy was up again as well. She looked still rather pale but said that she was feeling better. She ate a bowl of oats with milk and honey while I had a few slices of toast with marmalade.

"I need to go to London with Vivien today," Aunt Andromeda announced during breakfast. I looked at her questioningly. "It's the last chance to voice any Christmas wishes as well. "

"I'd like to have a Nimbus 2001, Mum," Dora said.

Her mother frowned. "You know that this would be very unreasonable Dora. You won't even play Quidditch anymore when you're working."

Dora sighed. If her expression was anything to go by, she had already expected this answer. "Oh Mum, don't you want to help Hufflepuff win the Quidditch cup for once?"

"You're addressing the wrong one there girl," her mother said. "Your Dad is the former Hufflepuff."

"I don't think Hufflepuff house defines itself by using the most expensive equipment," Uncle Ted said with a grin. "Sorry, Dora. I'm going to get our Christmas tree, by the way. Do you feel well enough to come with us, Mandy?"

"Yes, I think so," Mandy said. "At least, I feel like eating again. That means I must be better."

That was true. Mandy never ate when she was ill.

"The fever is gone completely," Aunt Andromeda said. "You seem to be good at fighting disease."

"We're going to get the tree on a Muggle market," Ted said.

Dora rolled her eyes. "That's some sort of family tradition. We're always buying a Christmas tree on the Muggle market. I want to look for some Muggle music."

"Good," Andromeda said. "I think we're going to eat in town. Come on Vivien. We have an appointment at 10 o'clock."

"An appointment?" I asked. "Where?"

"At the Ministry. I'll explain when we're on our way," Andromeda said. "Put one of your Hogwarts robes and cloak on."

I did as I was told and a little while later, we both stood in front of the door. "I've made an appointment with the Magical Inheritance Commission," Andromeda explained when we were outside. "This way you'll get officially acknowledged as your parents' daughter. There will be a few benefits from this and will be able to use your family's money as well then. Only limited access, but it will allow you to take care of your school fees and equipement and you can buy what you need. A Nimbus 2001 will be out of the question though." She smiled slightly.

"Alright," I said. I wasn't going to buy anything overly expensive anyway. The idea that I might have a bit of money of my own soon was appealing though. "Thank you for arranging this," I added.

"No problem. We'll need to use a Portkey because you can't get into the Ministry via the Floo network. It's for employees only. Have you ever used a Portkey before?"

"Yes, when I travelled to Diagon Alley for the first time with Professor McGonagall." I smiled at the memory.

"Good, just hold onto my bag."

Travelling by Portkey had been the first form of magic I had experienced knowing what it was. It still felt exciting but not as much anymore. Strange how quickly you got used to magic.

This time, I managed to land much more smoothly than back at the Leakey Cauldron. We were in a grey street that looked perfectly ordinary. Right in front of us was an old telephone box. "It works as a sort of lift and gets us in," Andromeda explained as we stepped into the phone box. She dialled a number and a few moments later, I received a button reading, Vivien Lestrange, MaIC appointment. Then the floor started to move downwards.

"Welcome to the Ministry of Magic," Aunt Andromeda said.

I looked around curiously. People hurried around looking very busy. We were standing in a large atrium with a golden fountain. You could throw money in that would be donated to Saint Mungo Hospital. I remembered that my father used work there and I would have liked to give something but I didn't have any money yet.

"We need to take the lift," Andromeda told me. "It's part of the MLE."

"What does MLE mean?" I asked, as we walked into one of the lifts.

"Department for Magical Law Enforcement," Andromeda explained. "They're handling most of the legal matters."

"Law Enforcement?" I asked feeling suddenly queasy. "Does that mean that there are Aurors here?"

A scarlet-robed wizard gave me a furtive glance. "No need to worry young lady. Or have you done something wrong?"

"My niece is visiting the Ministry for the first time Mr Dawlish," Aunt Andromeda said. "That's why she's a bit nervous."

When we had finally reached level two where we needed to get out, Andromeda gave the other wizard a head start, before talking to me. "We need to walk past a few of the Auror cubicles but you don't need to be scared. They're not going to harm you. Aurors aren't monsters who hurt children on purpose."

I knew that my behaviour was ridiculous probably but somehow, I still remembered Aurors as something to be careful off. When Dora really meant to become one, I'd have to change my opinion on them though. I tried to hide in Andromeda's shadows while we walked past them.

The Aurors made me a bit curious as well and I sneaked a few glances into some of their cubicles. A woman with short brown hair and sharp eyes seemed to know my Aunt. "Good morning Andromeda," she called while her quill wrote a report on its own.

"Good morning Cordelia. Everything going well?"

The Auror called Cordelia shrugged. "I'd wish we had caught those people who broke into Gringotts. Rather embarrassing situation. I'm glad I'm not in charge of this case."

"Well, maybe they would have been caught if you were. I've heard you got Medea Mortimer," Aunt Andromeda said. "This should quiet the illegal potions market."

"I hope so," the Auror said. "What are you doing here? I thought you were on holiday?"

"I am," Andromeda said. "My niece Vivien is staying with us over Christmas and we have to settle something here."

For the first time, the Auror looked at me. "Your niece? Is she-?"

"The daughter of my older sister? Yes, she is," my aunt said. "Vivien Lestrange, Cordelia Savage."

"Good morning, Madam Savage," I said attempting to be polite. The woman had seemed friendly enough so far.

"Whatever happened later, I owe your father much," Cordelia Savage said. "He let himself be seduced by evil and by this evil woman but that doesn't mean you can't choose better. Never believe that your blood forces you into anything."

I simply nodded, not sure what to say about that.

"Well, we have to go now," my Aunt said. "We don't want to let Selwyn wait. Have a nice day, Cordelia."

"Why does she owe my father something?" I asked Andromeda when were out of Cordelia Savage's earshot.

Andromeda hesitated slightly before she explained. "Well, you already know that your father used to work as a Healer before he chose to dedicate his life to, well to the dark arts instead. Cordelia was severely injured in the cause of her work and he saved her life and her health. Most people believed she was doomed but instead, she recovered completely. He was a very gifted man your father."

"Was?" I was startled at her use of the past tense. "He's not dead, is he?"

"No, he's not dead, he's still in prison," Andromeda said. "The choices he's made have very likely robbed him of these skills though."

I wondered why. I didn't really know anything about the Dark Arts yet. Quirrell's lessons on this subject were completely useless. We had reached the entrance to Selwyn's office though and I knew it wasn't the right moment to ask for any details.

Selwyn's secretary gave me a very curious look as well before she told her boss that we were here. He asked us to come into his office right away. There obviously weren't many people in need of the Magical Inheritance Commission at the moment.

"Good morning Miss Lestrange," Selwyn said shaking hands with me. He was tall man with greying brown hair, high cheekbones and blue eyes. "Good morning Mrs Tonks. Take a seat."

I glanced at the papers in front of Selwyn. One of them was a small book in blue and silver with the Lestrange family name and crest on it.

"You've come here to verify Miss Lestrange's parentage, am I correct?" Selwyn asked.

"Exactly," Aunt Andromeda said.

"Very well. It's very simple though a tad bit unpleasant," the Ministry official said. He opened the blue book on the first page. "This is one of the Lestrange family books given to our commission for this very purpose," he explained. "I'll need a small drop of blood from you, Miss Lestrange. If you are truly part of this family, your name will appear here."

"Alright," I said only a little bit nervously. This probably wouldn't hurt more than getting a vaccination or something and I had done this before.

"Hold your hand over the book," Selwyn said

I obeyed and Selwyn cast a quick spell that caused a small wound. It stung slightly but wasn't too bad. A drop of blood rolled from my finger and fell down upon the book. As soon as it touched the parchment, a name appeared, written in the same dark blue ink used for all the others. Vivien Ricarda Lestrange.

"You see, everything in order," Selwyn told me. "My congratulations. You are indeed a pure-blood daughter of the Lestrange family. Never forget to value this."

He sighed deeply. "True pure-bloods are extremely rare nowadays. And some of those who are left do not choose to honour their heritage the way they should."

He gave Andromeda an accusatory look. The glare he received in return made him look away very quickly.

"Well, ehm, what else. I have prepared a letter for the Gringotts Goblins. I need to sign it and then you can withdraw some money. You'll only have full access to it when you're of age that means from your seventeenth birthday on. From now on, you will also have access to the Lestrange properties. This goes for your parents' house which is unoccupied at the moment as well. I wouldn't advise you to go there on your own though. Death Eater houses might pose serious dangers to the unprepared."

"Yes, thank you," I said. The idea that there was an empty house that more or less belonged to me would take some getting used to. I'd surely go there someday but only when I had learned more about magic. For someone so new to magic it would really be too dangerous.

"Your blood relatives beside Mrs Tonks will be informed about this development as well," Selwyn continued.

I remembered my cousin Roger. I thought I'd like to get to know him. Would they inform my other aunt, Draco Malfoy's mother as well? I didn't really fancy any contact with her but she probably wouldn't be interested in spending time with the Muggle-raised daughter of her convict sister.

"That is all," Selwyn said, handing me the family book. "This is yours now."

"Thank you." As soon as I was at home, I'd have to look up the names of my ancestors. I really wanted to know how many of my fellow students were related to me.

"Here's the letter for Gringotts and a passing card. You'll have to bring this every time you want to get money until you're of age and handed your own key."

About ten minutes later, we stood inside Gringotts and showed the letter to a suspicious looking Goblin. Those beings made me rather nervous. I had read about the rebellion they had staged and they really seemed to be rather dangerous. This one seemed relatively cooperative though and told me and Andromeda to accompany him to our vaults.

We were travelling inside small carts which led us underground. While the reception area had been white and gleaning, the passageways downwards were dimly lit and made of rough grey stones. The cart moved very quickly and I thought that maybe, I shouldn't have eaten that much toast for breakfast. I really didn't want to get sick and embarrass myself by vomiting in Andromeda's presence.

We reached her vault first. She simply unlocked it with her key and walked in. I stayed in the cart because I thought it was rude to look at other people's money. When she was back, we travelled further downwards. My family's vault seemed to be very far down. I felt very queasy when we finally arrived. The blind dragon that reared its head threateningly didn't make me feel any less nervous. It seemed to fear the Goblins though which made me worry even more about them.

The door to our vault didn't have a key. Instead, the Goblin had to open it with his hand. "Step in," he said with a rather nasty smile.

Swallowing down my nervousness, I got off the cart and into the vault.

Inside, I looked around and could hardly believe my eyes. I had never seen so much gold and other precious things in one place. It was almost like a fairytale where the hero stumbled over a hidden treasure. I hadn't believed that something like this really existed but magic existed as well so why not?

There were goblets made of pure gold and bottles containing unknown potions. I wondered what made these potions precious enough to hide them in here. I would have loved to take a closer look but my classes with Snape had already taught me that potions could be extremely dangerous and it was likely that these were. Beside the potions there were strange-looking animal skins and a skull still wearing a crown. I wondered if it had belonged to a man my ancestors had slain on one of their Viking rampages.

One of the golden objects seemed strangely out of place. It was a cup and there was no outer sign that something was wrong with it. For some reason, looking at it made my skin tingle. The same kind of magic I sometime used to sense and end headaches in other people seemed to make me notice this. I definitely wasn't going to touch this thing.

In a far corner of the vault, there were all kinds of jewellery. I couldn't keep myself from picking up a pretty silver hair slide with a feather on it. It would go very nicely with my black hair and grey eyes. There was a golden diadem with strange symbols made of some sort of black stone on it. They looked scary and intriguing at the same time. I would have liked to try it out and find out what they would do but I didn't dare to do it. It could be dangerous.

In the other far corner of the vault, there were various books and rolls of parchment. One was a copy of the book called "The Art of Pain," the original handwriting if I wasn't completely mistaken. I would have liked to take a look, simply because it was forbidden and I would know something the others didn't. With Andromeda waiting outside, I wouldn't have much time to read though.

Next to it lay a book called "A Study on Plant-based Torture Methods by Rosamund Lestrange." So far, the idea that plants could be used for torture hadn't occurred to me. I didn't really understand why anyone would find this subject matter worthy of an entire book. Some of my ancestors obviously had had a rather unhealthy obsession with torture. I felt tempted to look at the books and parchments beneath but didn't. I might be able to another time.

"Vivien, everything alright?"

"Yes, I'm coming, sorry," I called back and quickly picked up some money. I wasn't quite sure how much I was allowed to take but the Goblin didn't object when I filled the largest pocket of my cloak.

Afterwards, I hurried outside quickly. While looking at all those shiny things, I had almost forgotten about Goblins and Dragons. Now my worries returned.

I joined Andromeda in the cart for the journey back up; the Goblin closed the vault behind us. To my relief, the journey upwards was easier or maybe I had gotten used to riding the cart. I actually enjoyed the journey now.

A short way further up another cart crossed our way. It held a man with shoulder-length wavy grew hair and a fierce look in his eyes who made me think of an aging knight. By his side sat pale and shaking, Neville. The cart seemed to make him so uncomfortable that he wasn't able to look up.

"Hail my fair ladies," the elderly man by his side called to us with a smile.

"Hail Sir Algernon," my aunt called back. I wasn't quite sure if they were making fun or if pure-bloods were supposed to talk to each other like that.

Algernon Longbottom told the Goblin in his cart to stop and so did Andromeda. Neville's face was still hidden in his hands.

"Morgana's blood shall run strong," Mr Longbottom said. "So that's your young niece, Andromeda. Looks like a perfect little Black. Nothing of those Lestranges on the outside. Let's hope the same is true inside. I'm sure it would never have come to this with your sister if she hadn't married one of this lot. Much better to marry a first-born wizard like you did."

I was a bit confused. If I believed Cordelia Savage, my father had been a good person to start with before evil people among them my mother had "seduced" him. According to Algernon Longbottom my father came from a family of evil and my mother had been the one who was seduced.

"We really need to get going now," Andromeda told him. "Have a nice holiday and a merry Christmas."

"You too Andromeda, you too. And young Vivien and the rest of your family."

Our cart started to move again, the Goblins seemed to be glad the annoying disruption was over. On my way back to the surface, I wondered about my family. I felt honoured because Algernon Longbottom had acknowledged that I was descended from Morgana over my mother's line. He seemed to think more highly about them while Cordelia Savage thought that my mother had led my father astray. Well, maybe I'd learn more soon. I had to ask Aunt Andromeda when the opportunity arose.

We spent the rest of the morning doing Christmas shopping. The shops were all full of people who wanted to do the same and we often had to wait for quite a while. I got a magical novel for Mandy and a Weird Sisters fan shirt for Nymphadora. This was the first time I had money of my own I could spend and it was a good feeling. I wouldn't depend on other people's help when I wanted to get my stuff anymore. I really had no idea what Ted and Andromeda might like but Flourish and Blotts sold gift coupons which would allow them to get a book of their choice. After the shopping we had lunch at the Leakey Cauldron. People weren't giving me odd glances anymore; no one seemed to notice me as someone who didn't belong. I was sure that I'd be at home in them magical world soon.

When we returned to the Tonks' house we found Ted, Dora and Mandy busy decorating the new Christmas tree. I was really happy to see that Mandy seemed to feel well again. Maybe her illness had only been because of the nervousness after all. Now that she knew that she was welcome with the Tonks, she felt well again.

"That looks really nice," Andromeda said and gave Ted a kiss.

"And you completed your "business?" Dora wanted to know.

"Yes, everything fine. Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Yes, I did. I got some music Vivi and Mandy might like. Are we excused?"

"Yes, but please be down here again at dusk. We want to sing and I'd like to tell the girls a bit about Midwinter."

"Alright," Dora said with a sigh. "So you're going to receive Mum's Midwinter lecture," she said on the way upstairs. "I really don't get why she thinks it's important to uphold some pure-blood traditions most pure-bloods have already forgotten about."

"Well, it's boring for you but we need to learn," Mandy said.

"Ravenclaws," Dora said.

"You won't fall asleep I'm sure." I added with a smile.

"No, probably not," Dora said. We sat down in her room which also contained a Muggle cassette recorder. Dora obviously felt rather at home in both worlds as well. It felt nice to hear some of the music I knew from my earlier life again and Mandy felt the same way. Afterwards we spent a bit of time talking and the afternoon passed quickly.

At dusk, we assembled in the living-room as we had promised Andromeda. She had lit the Christmas tree and candles on the table and in all four corners of the room. Mistletoe and holly were decorating the room as well.

We sat down together and started to sing. Ted and Andromeda did this really well and Mandy was quite good too. Both Nymphadora and I probably would never get positive attention for our singing. We sang Christmas songs we already knew well but also a few others about light and darkness and long nights that didn't seem to have anything to do with Christmas.

"In the darkest night, let's look for the light inside our soul," Aunt Andromeda sang and I remembered. There had been a night like this where my mother had sung this, her voice as clear as Andromeda's. My father and both my uncles Rabastan and Barty had been there as well. We had had holly and mistletoe decoration and the candles but no Christmas tree.

I had been listening to Mum's singing enthralled as Dad got up. "This is completely stupid," he had shouted. "Why would we sing about looking for the light when we do everything to find someone who's calling himself the Dark Lord?"

It had been one of the few times I remembered him shouting and they had argued. Mum had wanted to uphold her traditions while Dad thought it wasn't suitable.

"If you want to hear the lecture, you need to listen now," Dora whispered and I realised that Andromeda had stopped her singing.

"The seasons of the year have an influence on our magic," she began. "Witches and wizards in the past were more aware of that because it used to be far more common to practice our art out in the open. With the need to keep magic secret from Muggles most of our magic use has been moved inside but that doesn't mean that this doesn't matter anymore. Midwinter is one of those days. Halloween or Samhain as it used to be called is another. You've celebrated it at Hogwarts. Witches and wizards and earlier Muggles as well have founded various rituals and traditions for these days. These allow us to come to grips with our magic better. My family, the Blacks used to be one of the few who still celebrated Midwinter the old way but nowadays, there's no one left who could do it. Most families, even those who set much stock in being "pure-blood" have given up on it completely. They too were influenced by contemporary Muggle culture. Some people blame the Muggle-borns for this but there's nothing fair about this. It's our duty to teach everyone who joins our world."

"A duty Mum takes very seriously," Dora whispered to me.

"We can't make a big Midwinter celebration with ritual duels and everything else but we can sing and we can celebrate the light in our own magic. Like the year, every witch's or wizard's magic has a light side and a dark side. The light side of our magic consists of everything that is fuelled by feelings such as trust, hope, love, friendship and the desire to help. Spells that are fuelled by feelings like anger, hatred, a desire to cause pain and destroy and by sadness and despair are dark magic."

I listened with interest. I had been wondering what "dark magic" actually meant in the magical culture I'd belong to now.

"Often it's attempted to divide into spells that belong to one side and those that belong to the other but it's almost never entirely possible. Most spells can be both, depending on the intent of the caster. When there is so much outer darkness in the middle of winter, we are more likely than usual to succumb to dark feelings as well. That's why it's traditionally part of every magical Midwinter celebration that everyone casts a spell that is considered light magic as a sign against the darkness. I know that you can't do much magic yet as first-years but I'm sure you've learned the Lumos spell and it will serve as a symbol well enough."

The Lumos spell was the first one I had learned and it had worked really well.

"Ted and I are going to use the Patronus spell. It's a spell fuelled by happy memories that creates a protecting spirit which helps against Dementors and other dark creatures. The Patronus usually takes the shape of an animal that either represents an aspect of ourselves or a loved one. I'm sure you will learn it as well but at the moment, you are still too young. And Dora hasn't started practising either, so you will do another one as well. Alright, get up and get your wands ready."

We all did as she said and did the Lumos spell as she told us to. Dora cast a spell which created a cascade of bright stars that were filling the room with bright light. Ted and Andromeda said the incantation: "Expecto Patronum."

A silver snake slithered from Ted's wand while a silver badger sprang from Andromeda's.

"Dad's been a Hufflepuff and Mum's been a Slytherin," Dora whispered to me. "That's why they have each other's house animal for their Patronus."

That was really romantic, I thought. The sight of Dora's stars, the two shining animal spirits and the light of our wands was very pretty indeed.

Being here with an aunt and uncle and cousin who all cared for me and my friend who had recovered from her illness though was enough to make me happy and free of any "dark feelings" for the moment without the help of any spell.


	13. Chapter 13 Photographs

**AN:** I'm really sorry for taking so long to write this chapter. Somehow, it's been really hard to write about Christmas in June. I tried to find some popular songs on the Internet and stumbled over Medieval British singing contests between men and women over holly and ivy as well as ethical discussions about the content of the song "Do they know it's Christmas." My curiosity took away quite a lot of my writing time but now I've finally finished and I promise to be quicker in future.

**Photographs**

Two days later Christmas, Dora's grandparents arrived. Her grandfather was a psychologist in a psychiatric hospital while her grandmother taught French and Spanish at secondary school. The older Tonks seemed to be quite comfortable with magic even though they didn't have any of their own. Both of them were very polite to Mandy and me.

Aunt Andromeda told them how I had been left at the orphanage without anyone informing her as soon as the opportunity arose. She still seemed to be angry about that. It gave me a warm feeling. Life at the orphanage had been alright but it still felt good to know that someone cared.

Mr Tonks had actually heard of our orphanage before. "It's an excellent address," he said. "They have a very low number of charges who grow up to cause problems and many who do well in school. One of the places where we send children who have to be separated from their families."

Mandy and I could confirm that we had really been treated well there. "I was quite good at school too," Mandy said. "Sometimes, I'm rather sad that I didn't go to an ordinary secondary school. Everyone thinks that magic is so wonderful but not everything about it is great."

"Quite understandable," Mr Tonks said. "You're still free to make a living in the non-magical world if you want to. It does require some tweaked paper work but you've got the opportunity. I think it's necessary that you learn to control these powers you have. If you suppress something like that, there will surely be problems. We always knew that Ted was different in some way and not for medical reasons. I'm really glad that he got the opportunity to learn even though some people seem to be against it."

I sighed. Why did my parents have to be such bigots? Mum's sister was completely different and I liked her attitude much more. What was supposed to be wrong with Muggle-borns? Dora's grandparents seemed to be much more intelligent than many wizards I had met.

Mr Tonks glanced in my direction when Mandy spoke.

"Have you been very shocked when you learned that your son is a wizard?"

"I would have to lie if I said we weren't surprised," he said. "We had the proof in front of us though. There simply weren't any different explanations for some things Ted did."

Uncle Ted grinned. "Once, I let Mum's hair grow back when the hairdresser had messed up really badly. And another time, I made an expensive porcelain bowl whole again after dropping it. You couldn't really explain this any other way."

Mandy laughed. She had used her magic to make a plate hole again as well.

"Yes, and all in all it went really well," Mrs Tonks said. "People in his house, Hufflepuff were really tolerant. Most people who had a problem with him were in this place called Slythering or something and the others simply avoided people from there. Well, until Ted thought he had to fall in love with one of those spoilt, prejudiced princesses."

All the Tonks laughed so Andromeda didn't feel insulted by her mother-in-law's words.

"It was quite impressive though, how you had the grandness to question the things you've been raised with," Mr Tonks said. "It's not easy at all and I'm very sorry about the way your family has been reacting."

"That's not your fault," Andromeda said. "It's theirs alone."

Mr Tonks looked at me once more. "For a while, I thought your father was more open-minded as well, Vivien. We've met quite a few times though we had to keep it secret from his fiancée and later wife."

This really surprised me. According to everything I had heard so far, my father had been extremely prejudiced against Muggles as well. He had fought for a terrorist organisation who wanted to exterminate Muggle-borns after all.

"You knew my father?" I asked.

"Well, claiming that I knew him would take it too far. He was training to become some sort of medical professional in the magical world and he was very interested in psychology. I used to be rather fond of him. He was always polite and respectful and seemed to be highly intelligent as well. I lent him lots of books and told him stuff. About trauma therapy mainly."

He furrowed his brow and pressed his hand together rather tightly.

"At first, he wanted to know about treatment for abused children. Later he asked about the after effects of torture and treatments thereof. If I had known... It might be hard to believe but this kind of knowledge can do plenty of harm in the wrong hands. It never once occurred to me, I had heard of such things happening in the past and in foreign countries of course but..."

Aunt Andromeda gave a clearly audible cough.

"There's nothing you have to blame yourself Dad," Uncle Ted said. "You barely knew anything about the political situation in the magical society."

"Yes, but I did have my suspicions about that. I simply hoped the relationship with Andra's family could improve after all. Back then, I thought it was just a normal family argument. I knew too little about the background."

Aunt Andromeda looked out of the window. "It's still raining," she said. "And much too warm for the season. I wonder if we'll ever have a white Christmas again."

Everyone realised that this was an attempt to change the subject. I was rather glad about that as well. I hadn't really like the direction this had taken. The relationship between my father and Mr Tonks clearly hadn't ended well. Was he implying that my father had actually tortured people? So far, I had believed that he had been involved in some sort of terrorist attack which was horrible enough but torture? I had read two books in the orphanage library which involved torture; one had been about some country in South America and the other about someone who had been imprisoned in Nazi Germany. People had told me I was too young for those books but I had read them anyway and regretted it because I hadn't gotten those pictures out of my head. I really didn't want to imagine my own father or maybe both parents involved in something like this.

No one really started on Andromeda's remark about the weather and Mandy was the one to break the awkward silence.

"Mr Tonks, have you ever treated magical people as well?"

"Yes, I have but please don't ask me for names. The magical world is rather small. Why do you ask?"

"Well, there is this boy in our year and both Vivien and I think that he might need a psychologist. And wizards really don't seem to have something like that."

"Are you talking about Neville?" I asked. My aunt and uncle shared a long look. "I don't think he'd want help from anyone who's related to me no matter how distantly."

"If your classmate wants my help he will receive it," Mr Tonks said. "And you're welcome to tell him so. He can go to my colleague Ruth Goldstein as well though. I've heard that her son is in your year as well. I'm glad you're looking out for others that's very important."

"Thank you," Mandy said.

I thought that the world was really small if Dora's grandfather knew Anthony's mother.

"Ehm, Dora, didn't you want to show the girls your broomstick?" Aunt Andromeda said. "Maybe you could do that now. It seems to have stopped raining for the moment."

"Course. If you want to see. It's only a Comet Two Sixty though."

Both Mandy and I were glad to get out for a bit and even though Dora's broom "only" was a Comet Two Sixty it flew much better than the school brooms we were usually using. Having a broomstick of my own would be really great. I thought of my family's vault stuffed with gold. Both Aunt Andromeda and Mr Selwyn from the Ministry had told me that I wasn't allowed to spend too much money before I wasn't of age though. I didn't want to show off with the money either so I'd probably have to do with the school brooms.

On Christmas Eve, Ted and Mr Tonks put up the Christmas tree and decorated it with Mrs Tonks' help. They didn't want to use magic for this, a family ritual as Dora told me. Doing something like this with magic probably felt really strange for the older Tonks I thought. They had grown up with something entirely different after all. We only sang Christmas carols I already knew from the orphanage now.

To us, Christmas with the Tonks was rather unusual as well but I really liked it. I had never celebrated with family after all. Mandy was rather sad for the same reason. She still remembered how she had spent Christmas with her parents in the past and being with the Tonks reminded her of it.

When the Muggle radio played "Do they know it's Christmas?" I had to think of my own parents. I knew that the song was about famine in faraway countries but it still made me wonder if they even knew what day it was. They were all alone in their prison cells, maybe hungry and in pain as well. I really wished to send them some kind of sign that I was alive and thinking about them but there didn't seem to be a way. I had asked Aunt Andromeda if it was possible to send a gift to Azkaban but obviously it wasn't. There didn't seem to be any chance for me to contact my parents. Andy had always visited his parents on Christmas but they didn't seem to allow this here. I didn't even know if they were really still alive. The books I had read came to my mind again. The people from the secret police there had often lied about the fate of their prisoners.

"What's wrong Vivien?" Aunt Andromeda asked me.

"I've been thinking about my parents. They're all alone in Azkaban on Christmas and don't even know that I'm still alive."

Andromeda sighed deeply. "Yes, I know that this is hard for you. They never really cared about Christmas though. I don't think it matters to them."

This wasn't much of a comfort but I knew that she couldn't do anything about it either. The others quickly took my mind off their fate once more.

When we got up on Christmas day, we were greeted by quite a few presents. We never had been able to buy much for each other from the welfare money we received. Dora had bought me an album from the Weird Sisters, a record of Celestina Warbeck's Quidditch song and a self-made sampler with various songs we both liked. She was happy about the Weird Sisters' shirt I had bought for her as well and put it on right away. Her mother told her it was too cold for that but she didn't care.

Mandy seemed to like the magical novel as well. Ted and Andromeda had bought us books as well. Andromeda gave both of us books called "Wizarding Holidays through the Seasons" and "Defence from the Shadows." I didn't really know what the book was about but it sounded quite interesting. Ted gave me a book about Quidditch while Mandy got a non-magical math book which she was really happy about, a sentiment I probably wouldn't have shared.

Dora's grandparents gave us a bag with trail mix each and some chocolate. "You need a remedy if you ever come across a Dementor," Mrs Tonks said with a smile.

After breakfast, Mrs Tonks announced that she was going to prepare the traditional Tonks family Christmas goose and Dora was supposed to help so the family recipe would be preserved. With a slight frown, she went with her grandmother. Cooking wasn't among her hobbies.

We asked if we were supposed to help. Kitchen service had been obligatory at the orphanage because the care takers had thought that we weren't supposed to expect to be waited on. Mrs Tonks agreed but Aunt Andromeda had different plans for me. "It's nice that you want to help Vivien, but there's something I'd like to show you while the others are busy."

I wouldn't say it aloud but I preferred this to cooking. The things I heard from my aunt almost always were very interesting.

Andromeda led me into her study. "There's something I want you to have," she told her. "It's not really present, that's why I didn't want to give it to you in front of everyone else."

She opened one of the drawers and took a leather bound book out of it. When she opened it, I realised that it was a photo album. "Pictures of my former family," she said. "I've kept them all those years but never looked at them. I think it's better when you have them."

"Oh thank you," I said. I had never seen any pictures of them, there were only my faint memories.

"I don't want you to be alone when you look at it for the first time," she said. "Do you want to take a look?"

"Yes, of course. Thank you."

We said down side by side and she opened the book. The first photograph showed five people. There was a pale woman with long blond hair and heavily-lidded eyes. She seemed rather cold and arrogant. The dark-haired man by her side gave a very different impression. He seemed serious as well but his face looked as if he normally liked to smile. Between them there stood three little girls, the older ones dark-haired like their father, the youngest fair like her mother.

"I'm the middle one," Andromeda said. "The oldest is your mother, the youngest Narcissa, the mother of Draco Malfoy."

"Ah. So these are my grandparents? What happened to them?" I'd really like to get to know my granddad.

Andromeda swallowed. "Our father Cygnus and his cousin both died two years before You-Know-Who fell. I'm quite sure he killed them though no one knows for sure. Officially, father died from a sudden heart attack and Uncle Orion from a stroke. I can't believe that this was coincidence though."

I couldn't believe that it was coincidence either. Both of them in the same year and still rather young as well.

"Our father was never happy about Bella becoming a Death Eater like mother. He thought that a Black shouldn't get so deeply involved in something like that and he didn't approve of the way he was treating his supporters either."

"But Mum and Dad still followed this You-Know-Who person even though he killed grandfather?"

"Bellatrix never believed that I assume," Andromeda said. "And even if she did, she was totally obsessed with him. Nothing else mattered more to her. Our mother Druella is still alive but she would never receive me. I don't really like the idea of you meeting her either, I have to admit. She's been a Death Eater herself and she's the one who's mainly turned Bellatrix into this kind of fanatic."

"If that's true, I don't want to meet her either," I said.

Grandmother Druella didn't look like a very agreeable person anyway.

"No, I don't think that would be a good idea," Andromeda said. "I hoped that my father and I might get closer once more but we never got the chance. For my mother, I had died as soon as I admitted that I loved a Muggle-born."

"I'm sorry," I said. I hadn't thought that our family history was so depressing.

"Let's look at the others."

The next photograph showed the three girls alone. Bella, Andra, Cissy, the caption read. So these were their nicknames. On another photo, the three girls sat on a large swing in a beautiful, well-kept garden. There was a little boy with reddish dark hair on my mother's side. All four of them were laughing as they made the swing move very quickly. I asked who it was. He couldn't be my father, could he?

"That's Evan Rosier, our cousin," Andromeda told me. "He became a Death Eater as well, probably never had a choice because both his father and aunt were Death Eaters. Aurors killed him after You-Know-Who's fall."

I felt a surge of anger against the Aurors. This happy-looking boy simply couldn't be evil, could he?

There were other pictures of the girls and their cousin, some of the later ones showed two other little boys. Sirius Black who was in Azkaban like my parents and his brother Regulus who had tried to stop being a supporter of Voldemort and died for it. There were tears in Andromeda's eyes and I felt like crying as well. This damned war had really devastated our family.

There was a picture of my mother wearing Hogwarts robes with a green and silver crest on them. "Our Bella in Slytherin," the caption said. I looked a lot like her but hadn't inherited her heavily lidded eyes. Pictures of Andromeda and Narcissa dressed the same way followed.

In their fifth year, my mother and Evan Rosier had been made Prefects. They proudly showed their badges, both of them were very good-looking.

"So Mum's been a Prefect?" I asked.

"Yes, even though she was rather mischievous. Evan was the more calm and sensible one. All three of us have been Prefects. Don't be upset if you don't become one though. With everything that's been going on, they'll probably be reluctant to do this."

"Well, I'll worry about that when I'm going into fifth year," I said.

The next picture was taken on the Quidditch pitch. I remembered that my mother and Uncle Barty had talked about Quidditch. My mother and a very handsome boy in Gryffindor Quidditch robes were reaching for the Quaffle at the same time. The Gryffindor boy had windswept chestnut hair and sparkling brown eyes. He reminded me of someone but I couldn't say of whom.

Aunt Andromeda smiled for a moment and stifled a sob the next. "It was the big match Gryffindor versus Slytherin. Jerry Wilkes took the pictures, another friend."

"Do you know the Gryffindor's name?"

Andromeda hesitated. "Yes. It's Frank Longbottom, the father of your classmate Neville."

"Oh," there wasn't much more I could say. I wondered if Neville would look like that as well in a few years. It seemed rather unlikely. His father gave of an air of casual confidence and he really seemed to enjoy doing quick manoeuvres on his broom. Completely unlike Neville. Obviously, not everything was hereditary. In my case, this was probably a good thing.

Finally, there was a picture of my father standing next to my mother. Unlike Neville's father, he was rather ordinary looking. As he stood next to my stunningly beautiful mother, this became even more pronounced. He had short, flax-coloured hair and grey eyes like my own. Apart from that, he gave the impression of someone who had grown a lot recently and didn't feel very comfortable in his body. Judging by the look on his face, he was rather surprised by having ended up on a photograph with Bellatrix.

The next picture showed him as well. He was sitting under a tree on the Hogwarts grounds and read a book while the sun was shining and others were playing on the edge of the lake. A very Ravenclaw thing to do, I thought.

"Has my father been in Ravenclaw too?" I asked.

"No, he was a Slytherin but he sat on that stool for a very long time. What people call a Hatstall," Andromeda said. "It's quite likely that the hat considered putting him into Ravenclaw."

"Alright." So both my parents had been in Slytherin.

There was a picture of some sort of summer festival with many dancing people and a Midwinter celebration with a duel between Frank Longbottom and Sirius Black who had grown up into an extremely handsome young man as well.

"That was fun to watch," Andromeda said with a reminiscent smile that was wiped away by sadness quickly again.

We were almost through with the album now. There was a picture of my parents with their Hogwarts certificate and another one that showed my father wearing lime green robes and a bracelet with strange-looking runes around his arms. The awkwardness from the earlier pictures had been replaced by an expression of pride and confidence.

"That was the day when he took his Healing Oath," Andromeda told me.

There was a picture of my parents' wedding. My father stood there in formal robes in blue and silver while my mother wore a beautiful diadem with a small golden serpent on it and long, softly-flowing dress robes in dark blue with sparkles that looked a bit like the stars on the night sky. They were smiling at each other, their arms entwined. Evan Rosier and Narcissa stood by their side and I spotted Uncle Rabastan as well.

"Uncle Rabastan was my father's brother, wasn't he?"

"Yes, that's right."

"But what about Uncle Barty? Why is there no picture of him anywhere?"

Aunt Andromeda hesitated for a long time. "I had been cast out off the family already when your parents got to know him," she said finally. "He was much younger than us. Not really an uncle either, more like a distant cousin."

"Ah, okay," I said. I would have liked to have a picture of him as well. Maybe I could get it from somewhere else.

There was one last picture of my parents. It showed my father proudly holding a certificate at some sort of celebration where my mother was as well.

"This was the day when he became a qualified Healer," Andromeda told me.

The other pictures were of the Tonks family. Some of them showed a little Andromeda who already changed her hair into strange colours at a very young age.

I took a deep breath. So this had been my parents' life before they decided to get involved in this madness.

Andromeda looked very sad as well. "Your mother has made the wrong choices," she said. "But she hasn't always been like that and she's not been born an inhuman monster. Don't listen to anyone who says something like that. You are free to make the right choices and at the moment, I'm confident that you will do so."

This almost sounded like the things the Auror Cordelia Savage had said. I thought it was terribly sad that my mother had chosen to follow this Lord Voldemort who actually seemed to be an inhuman monster and who even had her own father killed. Why she had done this, I'd never understand but I still loved her and wanted her to be a bit happier in Azkaban if that was even possible.

When we went back to the others, everything felt much too loud.

I still saw all those pictures in front of my inner eye and heard the things my aunt had told me. My mother and my grandfather who had probably been murdered by the man his own wife and daughter supported, my father who had seemed to proud about being given the chance to cure people from diseases and who had still decided to do terribly things if Dora's grandfather was right and my mother's cousins who were either dead or in Azkaban, all because of Voldemort. Maybe I should be friendlier to Harry Potter from now on. This man had really deserved to die.

I went upstairs to my room and looked at the pictures once more. There was still so much I didn't understand. I still hardly knew anything about my father and his side of the family but there were people still alive there. Maybe I could get the chance to meet one of them, Rodger had seemed to be nice enough and Dora knew him. I was definitely going to talk to her about it.

At first, I didn't feel like eating Christmas dinner at all but when I smelled the delicious goose, I changed my mind after all. The cooking with Dora didn't seem to have gone too well though. She had obviously been rather clumsy and her grandmother had done most of the work by herself and with Mandy's help.

"I'd rather use magic for this," Dora said.

"Either way, it's very good," I said.

The same was true for the Christmas pudding we had afterwards and we didn't discuss anything too serious over dinner. Dora talked about various Quidditch teams and their success and later once more about music and the weather which was still rainy.

When I went up to my bed, I felt extremely tired and I shivered when I changed into my pyjamas. Had the room always been so cold? It had never felt that way before. Anyway, now I only wanted to sleep. I drifted asleep to images of beautiful dark-haired people that seemed to glide away from me. When I finally slept, I dreamed about someone whose face I couldn't see being tied up on some sort of cot and subjected to the electric shock torture from the book I had read. At first, it felt like reading the book, but when I continued reading, I realised that the physician overseeing the torture looked like my father. I woke up in sweat and looked at the alarm clock beside my bed. I had only slept for two hours but now I suddenly felt very cold again. In the next dream, I was searching for my mother in some labyrinth of dark stones. When I woke up again, the night was still far from over.


	14. Chapter 14 Saint Mungo's

**Saint Mungo's**

When the next morning finally came, I was ill. I barely managed to go to the bathroom because I felt nauseous as soon as I left my bed. The thought of breakfast alone made me want to vomit.

"I'm not well," I managed to tell Dora who was on her way to the bathroom herself.

My cousin stared at me. "My goodness, Vivi, you're as pale as a sheet. I'll tell Mum."

I wanted to tell her that there was no need to fuss but she was already gone and I stumbled back into my bed. What a mess. Why did I have to be so ill now? I really didn't want to be a nuisance for the Tonks.

Aunt Andromeda was with me a few minutes later. She checked me for fever with a spell, something I had never seen done before. "Well, you've got a rather bad fever," she said. "Better stay in bed. Maybe you've caught the same bug Mandy had in the beginning."

"I hope so," I said. Mandy's illness had been over after two days. I wasn't sure if I really had the same thing. Mandy's had started gradually while mine had been there right away.

I hoped it would be better when I slept another night but I was disappointed. The next night was even worse than the one before and I barely slept at all. Instead I had lots of disturbing dreams and maybe something like visions, or simply hallucinations caused by the fever. My head ached after this night.

The Tonks did their best to take care of me. I was rather ashamed. They barely knew me yet and already had to look after me while I was ill. By now, I even needed someone to accompany me on the way to the toilet. I really would have liked to spare them that.

"Don't be stupid. You didn't choose to become ill on Christmas," Andromeda told me. "I'm your aunt and of course I'm looking after you."

"Thank you," I muttered and took a few of the fruit slices she had brought for me. Fruit were among the only things I could eat, along with semolina paste, chicken soup and mashed potatoes. I didn't manage to eat much of any of those things though. Andromeda kept telling me to drink lots of water.

That awful headache made me feel as if I was going to be sick at any time. "Too bad I have no talent for healing magic," Andromeda said as I told her about it. "And neither do Ted and Dora. If you have the gift, it's easy to make headaches go away."

I had done this before but obviously, you weren't able to heal yourself or my magic was too weak from the fever. Either way, my attempts to get rid of my own headache didn't work out. Andromeda was the only one who came into my room because she was worried that the illness might be contagious. "Doesn't do anyone any good if we all have to lie down," she said.

On the third day, I was hurting and itching anywhere. When I looked at my arms, I was shocked. They were full of red pustules and my skin had turned an unhealthy greenish colour. My head was aching even worse and I was hurting all over. I felt so miserable that I had tears in my eyes.

When Aunt Andromeda walked into my room, she realised what was going on right away. "Oh, it's Dragon Pox. I almost thought so. We'll have to take you to Saint Mungo's."

"Saint Mungo's?" I never needed to go to a hospital before. The thought scared me. "Is it a bad illness?" It definitely felt that way.

"It has to be treated," Andromeda explained. "You'll feel better really soon when you get the proper treatment."

I really hoped that she was right but at the moment, I couldn't imagine that I'd ever feel better again.

"I'll floo-call Saint Mungo's," Andromeda said. "A Healer will come here and take you to the ward by Portkey."

She left the room and I was alone with my fear. I had never been so ill in my life. The closest thing to it had been the scarlet fever I had when I was much younger. I really hoped that they'd be able to help me at this place called Saint Mungo's.

"Don't worry," Andromeda told me. "I've had Dragon Pox as well and so did your mother and Aunt Narcissa. There was a real epidemic of it back when I was at Hogwarts. Your father was one of the few people who didn't get it because he had received an immunisation as a child. He helped Madam Pomfrey take care of all the sick."

I didn't really want to think about my father, not after all those hints and nightmares but I couldn't tell Andromeda so. She only wanted to be nice to me.

The doorbell rang and I flinched. I hated loud noises since I was ill. They made the dizziness and headache even worse. There were voices downstairs; Ted had obviously let the visitor into the house.

A few moments later, I heard someone walk up the stairs and knock on the door.

"Come in please," Andromeda said.

A woman with short, curly brown hair walked in. She wore the same lime green robes and the same bracelet my father had worn on this last picture in the photo album. A Healer from Saint Mungo Hospital.

"Good morning. My name's Charlotte Frobisher. I'm the Healer in Charge of the Gunhilda of Gorsemoor Ward for Dragon Pox patients. I'll take you to Saint Mungo's by Portkey now. Have you travelled with a Portkey before?"

"Yes, Madam," I managed to say. It had been fun the last times I did it but I already knew that it wouldn't be in my current condition.

I was right. My head was spinning when we arrived at the hospital room and the Healer had to half carry me to my bed. Only when I lay there, I was able to take in my surroundings. I was in a very small room with white walls and a table.

"This is the quarantine room," Madam Frobisher told me. "You will receive treatment that keeps the disease from spreading to other people before you're being moved into the regular ward."

The treatment consisted of a spell with a very difficult incantation. Madam Frobisher had to repeat it three times each over different parts of my body. Afterwards, I received a potion that tasted very bitter. Drinking it wasn't fun but it made my stomach feel better afterwards.

About half an hour later, Madam Frobisher considered it safe to move me to her ward. Andromeda was doused with some potion before she was allowed to leave the quarantine room.

The Gunhilda of Gorsemoor Ward was a large room with about ten other people who all had red marks covered with various sort of ointments and greenish skin as well. The youngest one didn't look older than three; the oldest was an elderly man.

Madam Frobisher gave me another potion in a relatively large goblet. "I'm sorry, you have to drink this. Sugar doesn't make it less effective but I've been told it's tasting better without it."

Emptying this goblet really wasn't easy but I managed it somehow. I hoped it would help me after all. After that, the Healer performed another spell which consisted of a long incantation and signs she drew with her wand onto my body. Healing magic really looked difficult and I found it quite admirable that someone could do this. Our spells usually were really short like Wingardium Leviosa.

After this rather complicated spell, she spoke another one that was supposed to kill the pathogens in my body. It created a shower of tiny greenish sparks which left a tickling sensation on my skin. It wasn't exactly painful but rather unpleasant.

"That's been the most important part," Madam Frobisher told me when this spell was finished. "There are some other potions you have to take later this day but now we can take care of the symptoms. You have a rather bad headache, am I correct?"

"Yes."

"The magic against this is applied wandlessly by directly touching your neck and head," she said. "Is it alright for you when I do this?"

"Yes, of course," I said. Why would I not want her to do this?

Feeling how a few touches by the Healer's hands made that awful headache disappear was really impressive. Even more impressive than the magic which was done with a wand, at least to me. And it was quite possible that I'd be able to learn this as well. I had already done something like that before I had known I was a witch.

When the headache had gone, Madam Frobisher took care of the marks. I hadn't felt them anymore at all since I had arrived at the hospital. There was so much to see and do here. She put ointment on the pustules. "You don't have to worry about scarring. When the pustules are treated in this early stage, they will heal completely."

Afterwards, I received a potion against the fever and another one that was supposed to help getting rid of the disease.

When lunch time arrived, I felt much hungrier than I ever had during the last few days. The food wasn't as good as the things I had gotten at the Tonks' though. The potatoes were slightly overcooked and the sauce too salty. Still, it wasn't too bad and the nausea had vanished.

In the afternoon, Aunt Andromeda came to visit with some her fruit and I was really glad to get them. If I weren't so tired, I'd already feel completely healthy again.

"How long will she have to stay?" Andromeda asked Madam Frobisher.

"Five days minimum," the Healer answered. "Relapses are always possible and it's better if we can deal with them right away."

I was a bit disappointed by this. People who had been at the Hogwarts Hospital Wing had normally been discharged after one night so far. I'd really rather spend the rest of my holidays at the Tonks' than in this place but I didn't want to become a burden for them either.

"She can leave the ward and walk around a bit when she's feeling better though," Madam Frobisher added. "There's no danger of passing the disease to anyone anymore. Short walks are okay but nothing too straining."

I was still too tired to get up much but I was able to walk to the toilet on my own again. The pain was gone as well and Madam Frobisher's trainee Healer, a young man called Thomas Lufkin treated my pustules once more in the evening.

This night passed without any nightmares. I dreamed of my Dad visiting me though. "I just took a short break from my own work upstairs to see how you're doing," he said in the dream. It wasn't a nightmare but when I woke up, I felt almost like crying because it hadn't been real. It would be so nice if Dad had continued working here and never have become a Death Eater. We could have been a real family and no one would have hated me for my last name. They might even admire my father because he could help sick people like I did for Madam Frobisher.

The next morning, I felt perfectly fine once more. Magical healing really was a wonderful thing. Breakfast consisted of toast with strawberry jam and butter which didn't taste very well but which I managed to eat despite of it.

Aunt Andromeda came to visit me right before lunch. "They're offering food upstairs in the Tea Room and it's better than the stuff they're giving the patients," she told me. "So, if you're feeling well enough to walk up to the fifth floor for a bit of better food..."

"I think so," I said. Five flights of stairs were a lot but I had made it to the toilet and I had wandered the corridor twice. Thus I thought I could try it. Better food was worth it after all.

When we reached the stairs, I soon realised that I wasn't really well yet. Getting up took me much longer than usually and we needed many pauses. The old Healers who diagnosed odd complaints and suggested even odder remedies didn't exactly invite us to linger but we had no choice.

When we had finally made it up, I dropped into one of the chairs and left Aunt Andromeda to fetch our food. They served pasta with tomatoes, mushrooms and cheese and it did taste better than the rest of the food I had had here.

"I really hate that I got ill when I was visiting you," I said.

"There's nothing you can do about it so no point in being angry," Andromeda said. "It's not as if it were your last chance to visit. There are more holidays to come after all."

"So you'd let me come again?" I asked.

"Of course. You're a really nice and well-bred girl Vivien. Not at all what I expected after hearing how you had grown up."

"Thank you," I said, slightly embarrassed about the praise. "I just hope I didn't infect anyone else."

"I don't think so. Ted and I both had Dragon Pox and Dora got the immunisation. Mandy was tested yesterday and she is already immune as well. Maybe the illness she had when she arrived was Dragon Pox as well."

"Really? She wasn't nearly as ill as I was."

"Yes. That's probably because the disease is much more serious in pure-bloods. This has to do with a small group of people marrying among each other over a long period of time. It's been like that at Hogwarts as well. Most Muggle-borns and half-bloods were up again in no time while the pure-bloods fell seriously ill."

"So only marrying pure-bloods is really a bad idea?"

"Obsessing with it definitely is," Andromeda said. "That doesn't mean it's bad if you fall in love with a pure-blood or anything but you shouldn't rule everyone else out."

"No, of course not," I said. I hadn't really thought about this before but I didn't really care about people's blood.

When we had finished eating, I felt rather tired. At least, I only had to walk down the stairs now, not up again.

When we reached the landing of the fourth floor, we saw a white-haired woman standing there. She had her arms raised and was humming to herself. Something about her behaviour was really off. Her dressing gown with a tag on it showed that she was a patient as well. While my name tag was red, hers was blue. I wasn't close enough to be able to read the name though. I didn't really feel like getting any closer either.

"Oh no," Aunt Andromeda said quietly. "Who let her wander off on her own?"

My knees grew weak again. I rather wouldn't have walked past that woman.

My aunt was much more straight forward. "Good afternoon Alice," she said, walking towards the other patient. "I'll take you back to your ward."

The woman didn't seem to have heard her at all. I wondered if she was deaf.

"Come on," Andromeda repeated more forcefully and stretched out her arm. At first the woman showed no reaction but all of a sudden, she started to scream. I flinched.

"Everything alright, I'm only trying to help," my aunt said soothingly. The woman didn't seem to hear her. She backed away and Andromeda just managed to catch her before she fell down the stairs. The strange woman desperately tried to get out of Andromeda's grip while my aunt attempted to steer her towards the door of the department.

Before they reached it, the door flew open and two people walked out. Augusta Longbottom and Neville. I sighed deeply Those two were very high up on the list of people I didn't want to meet in my current state.

"Will you leave her alone?" Augusta shouted. Neville seemed very small. "Do you have no decency at all?"

"I wanted to help," Andromeda said. She obviously tried not to shout herself but she still wanted to make herself heard. Alice at least had stopped screaming now. She stood huddled in a corner now as if she was trying to hide away from all those loud people. Now she reminded me very much of Neville who had taken a similar pose.

"Help! You look like her twin sister! Do you really think she'd want your help? Of course she's terrified. You have no consideration at all," Mrs Longbottom shouted.

Aunt Andromeda took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I should have thought of that. I thought she might harm herself when she walking around on the stairs like this, that's why I wanted to get her back to her ward. That's all."

She looked at me. "Come on Vivien. We should go now."

Both Mrs Longbottom and Neville stared at me. Neville's face went deadly pale while his grandmother was shouting again. "You brought her here? Why? The daughter of the people who are responsible for this."

I was feeling very dizzy again. Mrs Longbottom's words seemed to come from very far away. "The daughter of the people who are responsible for this?" What was she talking about? What was going on here?

"Vivien is ill," Aunt Andromeda said rather loudly as well. "That's why she was taken to the hospital. We didn't intend to meet you or any members of your family. It was a coincidence."

A green-robed wizard walked out of the door labelled "Spell Damage" now. "What's going on here? This is a hospital my ladies. Could you please keep your voices down?"

"You owe me an explanation," Mrs Longbottom said to the Healer, still rather loudly. "How could Alice wander off like this? It's much too dangerous and you know that. We've only been away talking to Healer Jones for a few minutes."

The Healer started to apologise to Mrs Longbottom and Andromeda took me by the hand. "Come along. We really should get away from them."

She didn't need to tell me twice. Neville was still staring at me as if he had seen a ghost or whatever was a really terrifying sight for a wizard.

"What was that about?" I asked as soon as we were out of earshot. "Who was that? What's wrong with her? And what do we have to do with it?"

Andromeda sighed deeply. "I didn't want to tell you until you are older but now you probably won't rest until you know. Let's get you back to your ward first though."

I barely managed the walk back. Sweat was running down my face once more and I felt really dizzy. The headache was returning as well. I needed to ask Madam Frobisher to make it vanish again. Maybe walking up to the fifth floor hadn't been a very good idea after all. Aunt Andromeda gave me a glass of water and I drank. Then she drew curtains around my bed and her chair, a few charms followed.

"I don't want anyone to overhear us," she explained. "The Healers can get in but the others will live us alone."

"Alright."

"What do you know about your parents' involvement with the war so far?" my aunt asked me.

"I know what Dora told me," I said. "They're in Azkaban and they've been Death Eaters, supporters of You-Know-Who. They all hated Muggle-borns."

"Yes, I haven't talked to Dora about the details yet either even though I'm going to do so before she makes the final decision to become an Auror. Your parents have been sent to Azkaban as punishment for one specific crime. You-Know-Who vanished after he had tried to kill Harry Potter, you've probably heard about this, don't you?"

"Yes, who hasn't?" My heart was beating violently. I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear what she had to say but at the same time I knew I had to listen.

"Good. I've already told you that your mother was an obsessive follower of You-Know-Who. She couldn't accept that he had been defeated by a mere child and believed that he still had to be out there somewhere. The Ministry feared that as well. That's why they sent Aurors to look for him abroad. Frank Longbottom, Neville's father was one of them."

"Frank Longbottom?" I tried to put the pieces together. "Does this mean; was that woman, Neville's mother?" It probably wasn't that surprising. They did resemble each other even though she was so very ill.

Andromeda sighed. "Yes. The woman up there is Neville's mother, Alice Longbottom née Fawley, another pure-blood woman."

"And Mr Longbottom is there as well?" I asked in horror remembering the proud and confident Quidditch player and duellist from my photo album. "And my parents are supposed to be responsible for that? But why, how?"

"I was just going to explain this to you," Andromeda said kindly. "Most Death Eaters had already given up on You-Know-Who but there was a small group around your mother left. The others were your father, your uncle Rabastan and Barty Crouch junior. They wanted to find You-Know-Who and help him back to power."

I swallowed. It wasn't enough that I was the child of a terrorist, I had to be the child of one of the most fanatical ones. The four people I had always considered my family from those few early memories in fact was a group of conspirators.

"Your parents and the others believed that Frank Longbottom knew where You-Know-Who was. Both Frank and Alice Longbottom were Aurors. Do you know what the Unforgivable curses are?"

"Yes, Dora has told me about them," I said.

"Good. That means you know about the Cruciatus curse as well, don't you?"

I did. It was supposedly connected with my family and Dora had told me about it when we really talked to each other for the first time.

"Yes. It is the torture curse, isn't it?" I whispered. I understood now what Mr Tonks had meant and where some of my dreams where coming from. He hadn't used electric shocks of course but magic. A curse that was supposed to cause pain. I suddenly felt very cold.

"But why are they so ill? Dora told me it was the least dangerous of the three curses," I said. She had actually threatened Malfoy with it.

"I hate to say it but that's because Dora doesn't really understand about it yet. The Cruciatus curse can be relatively harmless if someone's exposed to it for a short time. Relatively. I've had it used on me and I know that nothing's the same afterwards even if it's only a very short time."

"Who?" I asked, desperately hoping that it hadn't been one of my parents.

"No one you know," Aunt Andromeda said in a very distant voice. "Anyway, if powerfully magical people use it over a long period of time... Mind, body and magic of the victim are severely damaged. That's what's happened to the Longbottoms. They have to stay here permanently."

I slowly repeated the terrible truth I had heard from Andromeda's explanations. "They've tortured them to insanity?"

"Yes, if you want to put it so bluntly. And little Neville has probably been watching. It's not very surprising that he's not quite right either."

I really didn't want to think about that. I felt ashamed for some of the things I had been thinking about Neville. It was quite understandable that he couldn't be nice and polite to me. There was something else. "My father used to work here. Shouldn't he have known what happens when they do this?"

"He should and he did," Aunt Andromeda told me. "That's why my father-in-law is so upset. Rodolphus treated the victims of the Cruciatus curse before he became a Death Eater himself. He probably knows more about the effects of this curse than any other wizard in this country."

I fell silent. There was nothing else I wanted to ask, nothing else I wanted to know. One piece of information was worse than the next. I didn't know what I was supposed to think now. I couldn't believe this but my aunt had no reason to lie. I had seen Neville's mother. How could they do something like that to this poor woman, to Neville's father who had once enjoyed his life so much? I simply couldn't understand it and I didn't want to understand. I remembered some of the other pictures. My mother's cousin had just been killed by Aurors. Maybe they had wanted revenge. But still, this wasn't an excuse.

I remembered my father telling me about the plants in the garden, my mother reading to me about Morgan and Uncle Barty flying with me on his broomstick. I couldn't believe this. They weren't people who did things like that.

"They've always been nice to me," I said and realised that I cried.

"Yes, and believe me, I'm very, very glad about that," Aunt Andromeda said. "I feared your mother might have acted like, well, might not have treated you well. I'm glad this isn't the case."

I was really crying now. I couldn't understand any of this.

"Oh Vivien, I'm so sorry," Aunt Andromeda said. "I really wished I could have waited until you're older but better I tell you then you find out on your own."

Aunt Andromeda stayed with me all day. When Madam Frobisher passed me on her evening round, she frowned. "The fever has returned. I told you that you weren't supposed to do too much too quickly."

"We didn't really have a choice," Andromeda said, her voice heavy. The Healer didn't really understand but she didn't ask any more questions. I received another foul-tasting potion but it didn't really help much. Dragon Pox wasn't my real problem. I wasn't the child of a wonderful magical family as I had dreamed; I was the child of monsters. I could be glad that most people at Hogwarts did not hate me yet but when they learned the truth, they probably would.

I didn't really want to return to Hogwarts like this and force people like Neville to see me and be reminded of me. Learning about magic didn't sound so great anymore. It made this kind of thing possible. I knew I'd never grow up to torture people in Muggle England but here, you never knew what was going to happen. I had already used my magic to hurt people. Did that mean I would be like them as well? Was it something I couldn't help at all? Something in my blood? If I were rid of magic, I would be safe from that.

I didn't want to be a witch anymore.


	15. Chapter 15 Fever

**Fever**

The next few days passed in a haze of nightmares, potions and hushed voices. I didn't feel any pain but the fever seemed to be high. "A typical course for the second stage of Dragon Pox," I heard Madam Frobisher say but that didn't keep Andromeda from blaming herself and being blamed.

I heard her talk to another woman, a woman I had never met before. "Why did you have to tell her? You could have done so when she's better," the other woman said. "So keen on spreading Dumbledore's party line?"

"She already knew most of it. This went very badly, I know," Andromeda said. "I didn't know it would affect her like that. Telling her the truth has nothing to do with Dumbledore's party line though. You can't deny what they did."

"I'm not trying to. We need to ask ourselves why they did it though. The Aurors weren't angels, Andromeda. They thought it was a funny idea to leave a little girl with Muggles to get revenge on the parents."

"I never claimed they were angels," Andromeda answered. "But that doesn't justify, nothing can justify what they did to these people."

"It was war. Cruel things are done in war. By people on both sides. They weren't bad people."

"This is a hospital," Madam Frobisher chimed in. "Don't disturb the patients. And by the way, we do not tolerate any downplaying of Death Eater crimes here. Do you really think you're doing the child a favour this way? Think again."

Madam Frobisher approached my bed and looked over me, her brow furrowed. She performed the spell to check the fever but didn't share the results with me, Aunt Andromeda or the stranger.

"There's another potion we can try," she said.

I drank obediently. By now, I was used to having various potions poured down my throat and barely registered their taste anymore. This one made me fall asleep rather quickly.

When I woke up again, Aunt Andromeda and the other woman were still there.

"Either way, thank you for owling me," the unknown woman said. "I might never have seen my granddaughter otherwise." She was sobbing now. "I was one of the first to give my boys the immunisation and it has always been so important to Rodolphus when he worked there. That his own daughter would catch this awful disease and get it so badly, it's, it's not fair."

I drifted off to sleep once more.

When I woke up this time, the woman I didn't know was the only one by my side. She had straight blond hair that she wore tight up to a knot. There were some streaks of grey in her hair; her eyes were as grey as my own.

"Hello," I said. My voice was very weak.

"Hello Vivien. My name is Renata Lestrange. I'm your grandmother."

"Renata Lestrange? So you're my father's mother?"

"Yes, that's right. I've been living in France for many years now, that's why we never met so far. Rodolphus hasn't told me about you." There was a distinct hint of hurt in her voice.

"He didn't tell anyone I think," I told her. My grandmother. There really were quite a few family members I had left. Only a few months ago, this would have been a dream come true but I couldn't really be happy about it now.

"Yes. They even used a spell to hide you so you wouldn't turn up on the various family trees," my grandmother said. "Probably thought it was safer. The Aurors backed away from nothing if it would help them against supposed Death Eaters. They don't want to hear this in here though. Anyway, your Aunt sent me an owl and I took the Magic Express to Britain right away."

"Thank you for coming here," I muttered. "I'm sorry I'm so tired." This wasn't a nice way to greet my grandmother whom I've never met before.

"Don't be, you're very ill," she said.

Polite or not, I feel asleep rather quickly again.

"The last potion seems to have worked," Madam Frobisher said when I woke up again. "The fever is down."

"Thank you very much for your efforts," my grandmother told her. So she was still here.

"There's no need to thank me. I'm only doing my job."

Both I and Madam Frobisher were startled when she started to cry at these words. "Everything alright, Mrs Lestrange?" the Healer asked kindly. "We've found a potion that helps. Your granddaughter will be better soon. There's no need to cry."

"It's just, well my son always used to tell people the same thing," she said. "He did so much for these people and they simply told him he couldn't work here anymore for no reason. If this hadn't happened, he would never-"

"I don't think he's truly been working for You-Know-Who while he was here," Madam Frobisher said. "But still, someone who's capable of such cruelty shouldn't be anywhere near helpless patients."

Betraying my family like this felt horrible but I had to agree with Madam Frobisher. If Andromeda had told me the truth, my father really shouldn't be responsible for other people's health. I didn't want to imagine what it would be like if I had to fear that Madam Frobisher secretly enjoyed seeing her patients in pain.

"I couldn't imagine it either, back then," Madam Frobisher said. "And I'm sure it must be much harder for you as his mother. There is no doubt though. I don't think you're doing yourself or anyone else a favour when you're blaming other people."

"Well, maybe. I don't want to keep you from your work any longer," my grandmother said.

"Sorry Vivien for letting you wait," Madam Frobisher said turning to me. "Do you think you can eat something today? Some soup?"

"Yes, I think so," I told her. I really felt a bit better now. I wasn't sure if this was a good thing though. When I got better, I had to return to Hogwarts. They would make me go, I was quite sure about that. I didn't want to return though. By now, I thought that both Mandy and I never should have come here. We had been so eager to believe that we were different and could do something the others couldn't do but it wasn't so great at all. Mandy was right, we didn't really belong here at all. My family's past would always haunt me in the wizarding world.

My grandmother tried to start a conversation with me but I wasn't quite sure what we could talk about. In the past, I had been keen to know as much about my parents as possible but at the moment, I really didn't feel like listening to stories about the great person my father had been and how he had been wronged by others.

Instead, I decided to tell her about my own childhood in the orphanage. She was shocked by the idea that I had shared my room with Muggle girls, I didn't really understand this. Muggles weren't really different safe for the magic. I didn't feel strong enough to argue about this at the moment though. My grandmother told me a few things about my great-uncle and cousins who all wished me well as well. Quite a few people had written get-well-cards for me. Dora and Mandy both promised that they'd visit as soon as Aunt Andromeda allowed it, Ted had sent one with a funny poem and there were cards from my cousin Roger and his father and grandfather as well. All of them basically wrote that they hoped I would get better soon so they could get to me. My grandmother told me what they were doing and who they were related to but my brain was too mushy to take much of it in.

I was quite relieved when Mr Lufkin brought my lunch. The mashed potatoes tasted okay and I found out that I was able to eat again.

A few minutes after I had finished eating, the door to the ward was opened and a round-faced boy walked in. Neville. What was he doing here?

"Can I help you," Mr Lufkin asked.

Neville looked up at him timidly. "I'd like to visit Vivien Lestrange," he muttered.

I lifted myself up into a sitting position. Why did he want to visit me? He had always avoided me like the plague before and I couldn't really blame him. My grandmother looked at him tensely.

"Miss Lestrange is extremely ill," Mr Lufkin said. "She can't have many visitors. Are you family?"

Neville nodded. Maybe that felt easier to him than speak a lie aloud.

"This boy is lying and I don't want him to bother my granddaughter," my grandmother said loudly. "He's Neville Longbottom."

Neville stared at her, obviously shocked because she recognised him. "Who are you?" he asked quietly.

"My name's Renata Lestrange and I'm Vivien's grandmother."

Neville went pale. "You, you are the mother of-" he stuttered.

Madam Frobisher bustled into the ward. "What's going on here?" she asked quickly glancing around. "The patients need rest."

"This young man here wants to visit Miss Lestrange and her grandmother doesn't approve of the idea," Lufkin explained.

"Vivien's awake so let's just ask her," the older Healer said. "Vivien, do you want to talk to Neville?"

I hesitated. The conversation probably wouldn't be exactly nice but I'd have to have it sometime so why not here? At least, there weren't any other Hogwarts students around this time. "Yes, I do."

"Good," Madam Frobisher said. "You're welcome Neville. Madam Lestrange, I don't want to be rude but it might be better if you waited outside. My colleague and I are both in the room if there's some sort of trouble."

My grandmother didn't look happy but I thought it was a good idea. She obviously didn't like the Longbottoms at all. Her presence would make the entire situation even worse than it would be anyway. Mr Lufkin accompanied her to the door and Neville approached my bed slowly.

"You can sit down here," Madam Frobisher said kindly. "Don't worry, the disease isn't contagious anymore, we've taken measures against this."

"Yes. It wouldn't matter though. I got the immunisation anyway. Healer Jones insisted," Neville said.

"A wise decision. Too many people still underestimate Dragon Pox," Madam Frobisher said. "Well, I'll be right here handing potions to the others."

She walked on and left Neville sitting on the now empty chair beside my bed. I took a deep breath. "Hello Neville. I'm really, really sorry. I had absolutely no idea. I've grown up in an orphanage and I knew nothing about my family at all."

If only it had remained that way, I thought. A drug-addicted prostitute and some client would have been so much better than this.

"Yes. My grand-uncle Algie explained some of this to me," Neville said. "He had heard it from an old colleague. He used to be an Auror but he's been retired for a while now."

I remembered the knightly man from Gringotts. He hadn't been hostile towards me.

"Alright, anyway, I just want you to know that I don't agree with anything my parents said and did. I don't think Muggles or Muggle-borns are inferior and I don't approve of-" I couldn't bring myself to say the word torture.

"Yes, I believe you. I know you've stood up against Malfoy and everything. I've been rather rude back then as well. I'm sorry. It was just; I didn't like getting help from you of all people."

"I understand that now. If I had known, I would have stayed away," I said. I couldn't remember ever having heard Neville talk so much. Did he feel bad because I was so ill? He really shouldn't. This wasn't his fault at all.

"Algie told Gran she should apologize to your aunt as well," Neville said. "Don't think she will though. She didn't mean to attack you. She was simply shocked cause Mum was so scared. And she often shouts at the Healers as well. She thinks they should be able to do something you know."

"This must be a very difficult situation," I said. Neville's supposed lack of talent and hard life at Hogwarts didn't make it better either.

Neville sighed. "Yes, it is."

"Maybe the teachers would be nicer to you if they knew," I said.

"They do and I don't want people to pity me," Neville said quickly. "Please don't tell anyone about it, okay? I don't want people to know. They'll make fun of me and my parents and I don't want that. They've been treated badly enough, I don't want some idiot like Malfoy to make fun of them as well."

What an odd request, I thought. I was surely going to walk around Hogwarts telling everyone what monsters my parents were. I didn't understand why anyone would find this funny either though. If Malfoy was like this, I really didn't want to make my relation to him known.

"Of course I won't," I said. "I don't want people to talk about it either. Everyone would think I was as bad as they are. Better they think I'm a Muggle-born."

As I said this, I realised that this would only become a problem if I returned to Hogwarts. I hadn't wanted to do this at all, had I?

"Will you promise me?" Neville asked.

"I promise," I said. Keeping this promise would be in my interest as much or even more than in Neville's.

"Thank you," Neville said quietly.

He looked as if he wanted to leave but I felt so bad about this, I felt like I had to do something. "Listen Neville, if there's anything I could help you with, simply tell me," I said.

"Thanks but I don't think there's anything," Neville said.

Then he looked thoughtful. "Well, you are supposed to be really good in Potions Parvati said. You probably know that I'm not. Maybe, well, maybe you could explain some of it to me."

"Of course," I said. Potions was my favourite subject and I'd like to spend more time on it. "I'll help you with Potions."

As I said this, I realised that I'd really have to return to Hogwarts if I wanted to do that. I sighed. Wanting to leave Hogwarts probably hadn't been a very good idea anyway. Mr Tonks had already said so, it was necessary to learn how to control your magic. Running away was never a good option. Maybe I could make up for my parents wrongs a little bit if I could help Neville do better.

"Thank you. I have to warn you though. I tend to forget everything. Teaching me probably isn't fun," Neville said.

"Don't worry, I've often helped younger children in the orphanage with their school work as well," I told him.

"Will you tell me what it's like to live with Muggles?" Neville asked. "But not today probably or Algie'll get impatient. He came here with me you know."

"Alright. I'm still quite tired as well. I'm sure I'll be able to tell you another time," I said. We said goodbye and Neville left the ward.

I took a deep breath. This was really unexpected. I had believed he hated me and after learning what my parents had done, I wasn't surprised. The fact that he obviously wanted to give me a chance to prove I was different after all made me happier than I had been for a long while. Maybe returning to Hogwarts wouldn't be that bad after all.

Madam Frobisher had obviously been right. The last potion she had given me had really done the trick and I was improving steadily now. The pustules on my skin started to heal as well and I was allowed to have more visitors. Dora, Mandy and Ted all came to see me. Both girls had been very worried.

"I'm so sorry. It's my fault that you got this rubbish in the first place," Mandy said. Dora, Andromeda, Ted and I all tried to assure her that it wasn't her fault.

"Almost everyone gets Dragon Pox at some point of their life if they aren't immunised," Andromeda said. "Usually, it happens earlier and then it's less severe but you can really catch it anywhere. There's no reason to blame yourself at all."

My grandmother wanted to know what Neville had been here for and I told her. I half-expected her to be against me having anything to with Neville. Therefore I was very surprised by her next words. "If you really want to do remedial potions, just go up to the seventh floor. There's this portrait of Barnabas the Barmy trying to teach trolls to dance the ballet. Simply walk three times past the wall on the opposite side and think that you need a room to make potions. Then there will be a door and behind a room where you find cauldrons, water and anything else you need. Safe for the ingredients but you have those anyway."

"Thanks," I said with a smile. Magic was really astonishing and I didn't really want to give up on it completely. This sounded really useful. I had already wondered where we could practice. Snape probably wouldn't give us a room. He was known to dislike Neville and he didn't exactly like me either. He merely tolerated me.

When I was finally allowed to leave the hospital, the holidays were almost over. I would have one single day left with the Tonks, than I'd have to go back to Hogwarts. This wasn't the way I had imagined my Christmas holidays but anyway, at least, I'd be immune against Dragon Pox in future and the pustules would heal completely, Madam Frobisher assured me. Until it was done, I had to apply to different kinds of ointment every day, one in the morning and the other in the afternoon.

The visit to the Lestranges needed to wait till my next holidays. I didn't tell my grandmother so but I didn't really mind that too much. Her attitude made me uncomfortable from time to time even though it might be normal for pure-blood grandmothers. Neville's wasn't a very kind and considerate person and if Andromeda had been right, my maternal grandmother was far worse than either.

After this illness, I was really looking forward to one last, nice day with Aunt Andromeda, Uncle Ted, Mandy and Dora.


	16. Chapter 16 Remedial Potions

**Remedial Potions**

After one last, nice day with the Tonks, it was time to board the Hogwarts express once more. Mandy and I met with Lisa and Padma while Dora joined her friends from seventh year. I was still feeling rather weak but it was okay. Madam Frobisher had been certain that there wouldn't be another relapse. I simply hoped she was right. If not, Madam Pomfrey obviously had plenty of experience dealing with Dragon Pox as well. I didn't know if it was only my imagination or if there really were many people who gave me suspicious looks. I had never noticed this before.

Lisa and Padma were acting towards me like they always had though. Both told us about their holidays. Lisa's had been rather turbulent because her aunt and her mother had gotten into a heated argument under the Christmas tree. If Lisa wasn't exaggerating, the two sisters had started to duel each other. Lisa's cousin who was a trainee Healer had treated their injuries so they were spared the humiliation of going to Saint Mungo's in this state.

"Maureen says this is happening quite often on Christmas," Lisa told us. "It's a very busy time for them. People start to get angry at each other because everyone's supposed to get along perfectly and it doesn't work."

"I kept Saint Mungo's busy too but not because I got in a fight," I told them. "I got Dragon Pox and was there almost all the time."

"Poor you. That must be awful," Lisa said and Padma thought so as well.

I normally didn't like being pitied but this time I was simply glad that they were acting towards me like they would towards a normal person. I really hoped that my parents' crimes would remain secret. Neville at least didn't seem to want anyone to know.

Lessons at Hogwarts continued the way they had before we had gone and I had to admit that I would miss them if I left. Well, some of them at least. I could do without History of Magic and Defence Against the Dark Arts. Quirrel's teaching style hadn't improved over the holidays, he seemed even more nervous than he was before; something I hadn't believed was possible. In Charms and especially Transfiguration, I noticed that I hadn't practiced during the last two weeks. Strange things happened to the objects and animals I wanted to transfigure and most charms didn't work at the first attempt either. Maybe my magic like my body was weakened from the illness.

Snape's Christmas obviously hadn't been very pleasurable either. Did he have anyone to go home to at all? He kept taking points away for no real reason. When I had completed a potion correctly and dared to smile proudly when he had nothing to complain about, he took two points from me. "I don't like this attitude Miss Lestrange. You're as arrogant as your mother."

I was rather taken aback by this. Being glad that I had done something right was arrogance according to him? He had never mentioned my mother before either. Maybe he knew that I had spent the holidays with the Tonks and knew about her by now. Or, I didn't want to imagine this; he had read it in my mind.

"Don't worry, it's Snape," Lisa said on our way to the Great Hall. "He took five points from me for sneezing. It would ruin the potion, he said." She shook her head. "Snape's a git."

"Yeah, and he keeps insulting Harry Potter's family as well," Padma said as if this settled the matter.

"I simply hate losing points," I said even though it wasn't the complete truth. "Ravenclaw's only third in the House ranking. We really should be better." This did bother me. We were supposed to be the clever ones, why couldn't we win?

Neville probably suffered from Snape's behaviour as well or something else was wrong. He looked even more downtrodden than usual and didn't approach me for our potions training. I decided not to press him on the matter yet. It was better if he asked me.

The second Quidditch game of the year would be between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor. I was going to support Hufflepuff because of Dora and Uncle Ted. She even gave me a yellow scarf which I wore rather self-consciously.

Snape was going to referee the match to everyone's surprise. The Gryffindors seemed to be rather agitated about that but I didn't really care. I wasn't playing Quidditch yet. My respect for Snape had waned a bit after the remark about my mother though. No matter how talented he might be his teaching skills were atrocious.

Neville and two other Gryffindors ended up in a fight with Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle. Malfoy had made some stupid remark about Gryffindor letting people in their house team because they felt sorry for them. He also told Neville he had no brain, a remark which made me wish to try this Flippendo-spell on him Aunt Andromeda had taught me on our last day. I knew that Neville didn't want me to interfere though and three Gryffindors against three Slytherins was quite evenly matched. The boys decided to settle the dispute with fists rather than magic and while they were fighting, Harry Potter caught the Snitch after only about five minutes.

Dora got off her broom and slammed it into the ground rather violently. I felt really sorry for her. This had been one of her last Quidditch matches and it had ended with such a disaster. We left the stands while the boys were still fighting.

"Do you think we should do something?" I asked. Things definitely didn't look good for Neville.

"Hermione Granger is there," Padma said. "Let them settle this for themselves."

I had a bad feeling about this but she was probably right. The boys wouldn't want help from a group of random Ravenclaw girls.

Dora was in a very bad mood after the game. "You should have hit the Bludgers at Potter! You let him get off far too easy. Was it because he's famous?" I heard her shout at the beaters, two rather meek-looking boys.

I hesitated for a moment but decided that me telling her that it was only Quidditch and that there were more important things in life wouldn't go down too well right now. Neville or Dora, I couldn't really do anything for either.

When I met Dora the next day, she was still fuming. "Dunstan and Summerby are just too soft," she said. "They were impressed by Potter on his bucking broom stick and didn't want to hurt him. Those idiots actually wanted Potter to win! That's why everyone thinks Hufflepuffs are losers. Quidditch isn't the wizarding ballet. Being kind isn't always the answer!"

"I think we should let the Hufflepuffs sort this out among themselves," Mandy whispered to me.

"Yeah well, I really need to see Madam Pomfrey," I told Dora. This was actually true. I needed new ointment for my Dragon Pox pustules, they still weren't gone completely. When I arrived at the Hospital Wing, the situation from Saint Mungo's was reversed. Neville lay in bed, a bandage covering his head while I walked in. Madam Pomfrey was nowhere in sight.

"Hello," I said. "That looks really nasty."

"Hi. Yes, the bandages are soaked with potions that will make the swelling go away," Neville said. "It's not that bad though. Was worth it. Had to show those Slytherins."

I thought that there better ways to show that you did indeed have a brain than attacking two people who were much bigger than yourself with your fists but it was one of those thoughts I kept to myself. This probably was normal Gryffindor behaviour. I hadn't spent much time with people from this house so far.

"Listen Neville, back at Saint Mungo's we talked about doing Potions together. Do you think we should start that now? It's not that long till we're having our exams."

"Yes, probably. I don't think this will help much though. I'm simply rubbish at potions and always will be."

"Hey Neville, you just told me you wanted to show people. There's no better way than getting better in class."

To my great surprise, Neville grinned slightly at these words. I had never seen him do so before. "That's a typical Ravenclaw thing to say," he told me.

"Yes, maybe. Just like getting yourself into a fight with people much larger than yourself is a typical Gryffindor thing to do."

"Thanks. I haven't been told that I'm doing Gryffindor things too often," Neville said. "Though I'm not quite sure if it's a compliment coming from a Ravenclaw. I haven't talked to many of you yet."

"That's really strange, isn't it? Gryffindors and Ravenclaws never have class together. We always have with Hufflepuff and Herbology with Slytherin."

"I'm glad I don't have to endure the Slytherins in Herbology," Neville said.

"Well, it's quite fun actually. They keep fussing about getting dirty," I said with a grin.

"Yes, maybe it would be better to be with them in a subject where I'm actually good. I hope you don't mind me asking but how did you end up in Ravenclaw at all? Everyone in your family has been Slytherin, haven't they?"

"Well, my grandmother was in Ravenclaw as well," I said. And my father had probably had some Ravenclaw traits but I wouldn't mention him in front of Neville. "I didn't want to be in Slytherin anyway. Hanging around with Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson all days sounds like a nightmare."

Neville laughed but stopped very quickly because his swollen face obviously hurt.

Madam Pomfrey arrived. "Longbottom needs his rest," she told me. "Who are you if I may ask? I've never seen you before."

"Well, I think I haven't been here yet."

"Unlike me," Neville muttered.

"Almost two weeks at Saint Mungo's should make up for this though."

Madam Pomfrey looked at me. "Ah, you're the Dragon Pox girl. I have the ointment here."

I didn't like being referred to as "Dragon Pox girl" but maybe this kind of thing was normal Healer behaviour. I swallowed. Everything could have been so much fun if my father had simply kept his job and maybe told me about this kind of thing.

Madam Pomfrey gave me the ointment and I told Neville to meet me Friday afternoon in front of the library. The room my grandmother had told me about seemed to be a secret and I didn't want to share it with Madam Pomfrey.

The week passed quickly and so did my morning Potions lesson. I tried my best to be completely emotionless whenever Snape looked into my direction and it seemed to work. He didn't target me this time.

Instead, he reduced poor Hannah Abbott to tears because she had messed up her potion. It had first taken on the wrong colour and later exploded. Snape was looming over Hannah who tried to look as small as possible. It almost seemed as if he enjoyed the distress he caused to the Hufflepuff girl. This was really sick. Hannah surely hadn't gotten her potion wrong on purpose and his behaviour wouldn't make it better. McGonagall clearly told us if we did anything wrong but she never acted like that.

"What have I done to deserve this? First this idiot boy Longbottom melting his cauldron and now the next walking disaster." Snape's mouth twisted into a sneer. Hannah's face was completely hidden behind her long hair and her hands. She was crying openly now.

"Maybe the two of you should band together to form the club of Hogwarts losers."

I couldn't hold onto myself after these words. "Professor Snape."

He looked into my direction, his cold dark eyes boring into my own.

"Don't you see I'm busy, Miss Lestrange. I have no time for your questions."

He never did, I thought but this wasn't what I wanted to say.

"I'm sure Hannah hasn't done this on purpose," I said. At my old school, we had sometimes achieved something if we stood up to unfair teachers like this. Mandy obviously didn't hope for something similar to happen here. She kept silent. I didn't want to do that though. I wasn't like my mother and I wasn't going to kiss anyone's robes literally or figuratively.

"We're all here because we have to learn. We are first years and we can't do everything right at first try. You really shouldn't insult Hannah or Neville like this."

Everyone in the classroom was staring at me now. Some of them looked as if they thought I was mad.

"I won't have you tell me how I'm supposed to teach my class, Miss Lestrange," Snape said in a quiet but dangerous voice. "Detention, eight o clock tonight in my office."

I nodded silently. I was in detention. This had never happened before but it had been worth it. I hoped Aunt Andromeda would feel the same way. Dora had been in quite a few detentions. She probably wouldn't be too shocked.

At least, he was leaving Hannah alone for the rest of the lesson.

After lunch, I met Neville. I would do everything to help him get better in Potions. Now, this wasn't only about our parents anymore. I wanted to show to Snape that people could improve even though he didn't seem to believe that. Neville was five minutes late and I believed he had forgotten about the appointment at first but he came hurrying around the corner breathlessly a few moments later.

"You're looking angry," he said.

"Yes. I'm in detention with Snape. Because I told him that insulting everyone who doesn't get their potion right at first try isn't a very good idea."

Neville looked impressed. "You told Snape that? That was a really Gryffindor thing to do you know."

I smiled. "So come on. Now it's on you to do a Ravenclaw thing and study outside of class."

"Are we going into the library?" Neville asked.

"No, my grandmother told me about a room for this kind of thing here in Hogwarts. Let's try if that's really what we need. Do you have your potions ingredients?"

Neville blushed. "I'm sorry, I forgot."

"Well, doesn't matter. We can use mine today. Just bring them next time." I really had enough money to buy new ingredients if necessary.

On our way to the seventh floor we walked into Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle and a few Slytherin girls. "Oh look, Longbottom's got a girlfriend," a girl who was called Pansy Parkinson if I remembered correctly shrieked. "How cute!" Her friends broke into stupid laughter.

"It's the little parentless Mudblood," Malfoy said. "No pure-blood would ever show herself with you, would she?"

So he still didn't know, I thought. "Come on," I said to Neville who had stopped in his tracks. I didn't want another fist fight. We were outnumbered rather badly anyway. "They're beneath our level."

We wanted to walk on but Malfoy blocked our way, flanked by Crabbe and Goyle. "You're not talking about me this way. Someone needs to show you your place."

I was so tired of this attitude from people like Malfoy or Snape. Always picking on people who were weaker or seemed to be. It was pathetic. The three of them walked towards us. I didn't feel like having a fight but if necessary, I would fight back. The odds really weren't in our favour though. Two of us against six of them. Malfoy really deserved to be the weak one, the one who was "shown his place".

A surge of power rushed through me. Malfoy shrieked like a frightened girl, holding onto his lack. He couldn't stand anymore and stumbled sideways.

"Draco, what's wrong?" Pansy asked. She looked very concerned.

"Only a cramp in my leg," Draco quickly told her.

My heart was beating very fast. The sense of satisfaction had vanished as quickly as it had come. This kind of thing had never happened to me anymore since I had come to Hogwarts. Why now?

I gave Neville a concerned look but he had a smile on his face. Neville obviously hadn't realised that it was me who had caused this. I sighed with relief.

The Slytherins didn't try to keep us from passing anymore. Malfoy gave me a very odd look.

I was glad when we had left them behind but the things my magic did actually frightened me more than Malfoy and his gang. It wasn't normal that you could cause pain to someone without using a wand or a spell, was it? Neville definitely was the wrong person to ask about this and I couldn't think of anyone else at Hogwarts I wanted to discuss it with either. I'd talk to Andromeda when I saw her again.

"Malfoy still hasn't figured it out. And he tells me I have no brains," Neville said. "Don't you want to tell him? It can't be nice to be insulted for something that isn't even true."

"Better than being insulted for something that is true," I responded without hesitation.

We made it to the seventh floor without meeting anyone we knew. I was really glad about that. Our classmates would probably wonder why Neville and I were walking around together too. I found the painting my grandmother had told me about and walked passed it three times, thinking hard that we needed a place to practice making potions. After the third time, a door had emerged. We walked through it and found a small room with a fireplace and a cauldron. Everything else you might need for potions was there as well, only the ingredients were missing.

"That's amazing," Neville said.

"Yes, it is. I'm glad my grandmother really helped us. I think you should light the fire first."

Neville raised his wand. "Incendio," he muttered. Nothing happened. I wasn't really surprised. His voice hadn't sounded confident at all.

"You need to speak more clearly. I need to hear that you mean it," I told him.

Neville tried again but it still wouldn't work. "Maybe you should do it. I don't want to waste your time."

"No, you want to make the potion and you need to light the fire. Simply try again. We've got enough time. Concentrate, picture the fire in your mind and say the spell clearly." That was how Professor Flitwick had explained it and it had worked really well. Mandy had grasped the spell more quickly than I had but we had both been successful in the end.

When he tried to the sixth time, a tiny spark emerged. It was gone before it could light a fire though.

"Good, you're almost there. Try again," I told him.

Neville's seventh spell finally lit the fire.

"Good. Let's start now. Let's make the Sleeping Draught." This was the potion we had made in last week's lesson.

I soon realised that Neville had a variety or problems with potion making. He was relatively clumsy which caused him to crunch or cut his ingredients unevenly. He kept forgetting what he needed to do next which forced him to look it up in the instructions all the time. Often, the right moment to add something was gone when he had found the information. He also tended to become extremely nervous and upset as soon as he noticed that something went wrong. When this happened, he didn't get anything done properly anymore at all.

I told him to cut the ingredients more cleanly even if it took longer and helped him with some of them and I told him when to add what. Remembering this for himself would be the next step. Neville still needed too much time to actually figure out how to do the things I told him though.

The first potion he had attempted to make left the cauldron in a fountain after Neville had added the Valerian Sprigs. This was really strange because the plant was known for its calming effect. This obviously wasn't true for potions though. Neville was close to tears. "I told you I simply can't do it."

"It doesn't work right away."

The room provided us with cleaning equipment though and we were able to get rid of the mess quickly. The physical work seemed to calm Neville a bit. I was glad about this because I was sure he wouldn't be able to get anything done if he was so upset.

"Let's try it together this time," I said. Letting Neville make the potion almost on his own obviously didn't work yet. We'd have to go more slowly.

"It's best if we cut the ingredients first," I told him. "At least those who don't have to be very fresh when they're put in. This isn't necessary for this potion. You can use a preserving spell for such things but we haven't learned how this one works yet. This way, we don't have to take care of that later."

Neville cut his roots more evenly this time. This problem had been easiest to solve. He was used to carefully prune living plants so he could do it with harvested ones as well. Later, I let him heat the water but checked it myself before we started putting the ingredients in.

"I'm going to put the Flubberworm Mucus in now," I told Neville. "You simply watch and try to feel the magic. If you do this, it's getting much easier. You know exactly when the right moment has come."

Neville gave me a questioning look. "What do you mean, "feel the magic". It's a potion, not a spell, isn't it?"

"Yes but potions are magic as well. They aren't simply a mix of the ingredients. If they were, Muggles could make them too. If you concentrate really hard, you can feel the magic, the things that happen inside the potion. If you've seen it done right once, you can do it again because you know what to do. You don't even need the instructions anymore."

Neville didn't seem to believe me but he tried to feel the magic. When I asked him if he was able to do it, he said yes, but I didn't believe him. "Better try again."

I watched him intently and at some time, realisation seemed to dawn on him. "Yes, there's really something," he whispered.

"There is. Now put three drops of mucus in and see how it changes."

He did and if I read his expression correctly, he did feel it. We continued doing it this way. I told him exactly what to do and how to sense the magic changes in the potion. There were moments when he managed this but for some reason, he didn't seem to be able to do it constantly. This way, we would be able to do something about it if an accident was about to happen. Well, at least if we knew of something that could be done to prevent it. In case of the fountain from our first potion, I hadn't known either.

This time, everything went well and we had a potion that looked exactly like the one in our book in the end.

"Good," I said.

"Well, you've done almost everything," Neville said.

"You did help," I said. "Next time you can do more. Do we meet again, same time next week?"

"Yes, if it isn't bothering you," Neville said. "No one has ever told me about the magic in the potion."

"Yes, Snape's barely telling us anything," I said. "He writes the instructions on the board and that's all. It's not in our text book either."

"How did you figure it out then?" Neville wanted to know.

I tried to remember. "I'm not sure, I just felt something and then I read it up in a book in the library. About Potions theory. I can tell you the name if you want to check."

"That would be nice," Neville said and I wrote in on a piece of parchment.

"Next week, we can meet write here," I said. "This way people won't start talking."

"Yes, it probably would be a scandal if someone who knows who you are sees us together," Neville said.

I sighed. "Probably. I think I should go now though. I want to eat something for dinner before I have detention with Snape."

"Snape's rather nasty in detention," Neville told me, a bit of information that didn't surprise me. I wasn't too worried though. I had done nothing wrong and if he wanted to treat me unfairly, it was his problem.

Right at eight o clock, I arrived in front of the Potions classroom. Snape came sweeping out, wearing his usual black cloak. "My office, follow me," he said without responding to my "Good evening, Professor."

Snape's office was darkish room with various dead animals floating in jars on the shelves. There were plants parts and different coloured liquids in corked flasks and bottles and other glass ware as well. I tried to take everything in. It was a little bit creepy but very fascinating at the same time. I wondered what the potions in the bottles would do. Some of them reminded me of the stuff I had seen in the vault.

"You will disembowel horned toads," Snape informed me coldly and indicated a small barrel full of dead amphibians. I took a deep breath. This task sounded rather disgusting. I hoped I wasn't going to be sick or anything.

I put on my gloves while Snape handled me a collection of knives and scalpels. They looked extremely sharp. Potion ingredients and dead animals weren't the only things you could cut open with them, I thought. Pansy Parkinson's guffawing laughter came to my mind and I imagined cutting some sort of pattern into her skin with this. Snape gave me a very odd look. He couldn't know what I was thinking, could he? I hoped not, or I'd be in real trouble.

Snape showed me how to do it with the first toad. "Careful not to injure the organs when you could it open. It could make everything worthless."

Soon, I found myself cutting open the belly of a dead toad. I felt slightly nauseous but also curious to see what it would be like to do this. My hand was steady when I cut the toads belly open without injuring it and carefully extracted its intestines. I was so focused on the task at hand that I almost forgot about Snape's presence.

The second and third toad were the same but afterwards, it turned to routine. Every toad looked similar. Snape obviously noted this because he began to talk to me.

"You're acting like the typical Muggle-born in my class, Miss Lestrange. The purity of your blood line doesn't change that at all. You've read and heard a few things and believe you know everything while in fact, you're nothing but an ignorant little girl."

I slowly sliced the next toad's belly open and tried my best not to imagine it was Snape's. Why did knives give me these kinds of violent feelings? I had only learned about magic about half a year ago. Of course I wouldn't know everything. I failed to see what this had to do with anything.

"I don't think it's fair to have a go at people because they can't get their potions right when you haven't even told them how it's done," I said. "I don't want to be disrespectful, really not. You know lots about potions and I've really been admiring you."

I didn't mention that his way of talking had reminded me of my father. I really didn't want him to know about that.

"The world isn't fair Miss Lestrange," Snape said in his quiet but dangerous voice. It almost sounded as if he would have liked to shout but thought it was inappropriate. "This is a lesson everyone has to learn when he or she comes to Hogwarts. The earlier the better. You've grown up in a Muggle orphanage, am I correct?"

"Yes, Sir."

"I thought they would have taught you that there."

"Yes. And they also taught us that it can only get fairer if everyone does their part," I responded.

"This is nonsense," Snape responded. "These things cannot be changed and those who try to do so aren't rewarded for their efforts. Longbottom's mother always stood up against everything she considered "unfair" while at Hogwarts. She often defended your father among others. Let me only tell you that much, the story didn't end well."

"I know that," I responded, trying to keep the mixture of hurt and anger out of my voice. I wasn't sure if Snape was telling me the truth but if he did it made everything even worse. My grandmother was wrong as well if Neville's mother had really tried to help my father. Knowing Neville, I thought it was likely to be true though. He'd surely help others if he could.

"You do?" Snape said a hint of surprise in his voice. "Very well. If that's the case, you also know of your parents' affiliations, don't you?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Good. In this case, you might understand why it is of extreme importance for you to keep a low profile rather than being seen as the champion of the weak. People say that the Dark Lord is gone and so are his followers. This isn't true."

I stared at him. Everyone had told me that so far. I was startled at the use of the title "Dark Lord" as well. The last time I had heard it had been when I had lived with my parents.

"Yes, Miss Lestrange. The Dark Lord has been severely weakened but he is not dead. Many of his followers escaped Azkaban and are biding their time. Some of them have children here at Hogwarts. Death Eaters do not take kindly to traitors and your mother has never been overly popular among them either or so I've heard. You can guess what that means, can't you?"

My throat felt very tight. Was he implying that those people might be after me because I didn't act like a Death Eater? Or because they wanted to get back at my mother? I had felt that life here was much more dangerous than at the orphanage from the day I had arrived here but I hadn't known how dangerous.

"I thought this was over," I whispered.

"It is far from over," Snape responded. "So far, only few people know about your true identity. You can hope that this will remain so for the moment. It's unlikely that it will forever though. That's why it is highly important that you keep a low profile. You can help your fellow students all you like if you think they deserve this but you need to be discrete about it."

"Yes, Sir. I'll do that." Neville and I had arranged our meetings in the most discrete way we could think of, I hoped this would be enough.

"I do not want to see the kind of display you gave this morning again," Snape said. "If you ignore this advice, I'll have to give you more detentions and take points from you, enough to make it really hurt. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, Sir." I felt stupid saying this all the time but I couldn't think about anything else to say.

"Death Eater relatives aren't only found in the places you would suspect," Snape continued. "You're not the only one who did not end up in Slytherin, contrary to popular prejudice."

I merely nodded, so I didn't have to repeat myself once more.

"It would be unwise to flaunt your academic achievements beyond what is to be expected from students of your house as well," Snape told me. "That's why I've avoided drawing attention to your extraordinary talent for my subject. You are one of the few people who approach the subject with the right attitude and you have a feeling for the subtleties of magic that is extremely rare in first years. Many witches and wizards never achieve it and don't even seek to do so. Most of them are more interested in lights, bangs and wand waving."

I blushed fervently at these words. Receiving this kind of praise from Snape of all people was extremely rare.

"Thank you sir," I said and had trouble keeping myself from stuttering. "And thank you for warning me. There are really far too many things I don't know yet."

"Do your best to change that," Snape told me. "And now continue with your work. I don't want to be forced to remain here all night."

"Yes, of course," I said and began to cut the next toad apart. My head was full of many things. Snape's warning worried me while I felt very proud because of his praise at the same time. I didn't understand why I had these problems in Charms and especially Transfiguration if I had "a feeling for the subtleties of magic." Why did this only help me in Potions but not in the other subjects?

I didn't want to strain Snape's patience even more by asking him about that. Maybe Andromeda could tell me something about this as well.


	17. Chapter 17 Revision

**Revision**

I kept true to my word to Snape and attempted to avoid drawing attention to myself. My Charms work got slowly better again but in Transfiguration, I drew attention of the most unpleasant kind. We started animal Transfiguration and things didn't want to work the way I wanted them to at all. I grew more and more frustrated and the mouse I was supposed to transfigure started to squeak in pain instead. Professor McGonagall noticed right away of course.

"I told you that I do not tolerate this kind of thing," the Head of Gryffindor said standing over my desk.

"I'm really sorry. I really didn't want to cause this."

"You're taking your frustration out on the animal. This mustn't happen. You can do better and you have to control yourself. Ten points from Ravenclaw and detention. I want to see you in my office at 8 o clock on Friday."

This seemed to be a popular time for detention, I thought. Snape's had been at the same time, right after Neville's remedial potions. This time, I was really ashamed though. I knew this wasn't supposed to happen and it still had. I was very careful now which resulted in nothing happening to the mouse at all.

Mandy and many of my classmates managed to change their mice into something that at least resembled a snuff-box. It was rather frustrating.

Transfiguration was the most problematic subject for me in the upcoming exams. We had to pass every subject so we could move on into the next year. I knew that Professor McGonagall would make me fail if something like this happened again. I really didn't feel like repeating Potions, Charms and everything else where I had done okay because of Transfiguration.

Dora however told me that it was almost impossible to fail the normal end of year-exams if you weren't completely inept.

"Everyone has trouble with Transfiguration," she said when I asked her about the exams. "McGonagall doesn't expect that much there. I'm sure you'll do fine." She sighed. "It's different with the NEWTs. I have to get Es in Transfiguration, Charms, Potions, Defence Against the Dark Arts and one other subject if I want to apply for Auror training. Those Ministry examiners don't cut you any slack."

"I'm sure you'll do well," I said. "If you really want it, you'll make it."

Dora definitely spent much more time in the library than she usually did. It wasn't her favourite place to be while at Hogwarts normally. She was going to stay at Hogwarts during the Easter holidays because it was easier to revise here so we did the same. If we returned to the orphanage, practising spells would be impossible.

Mandy and Padma tried to help me with Transfiguration in our common room where almost everyone was busy revising for something. With their advice, it slowly got better but it was still far from the results they achieved and I would have liked to have. I was able to help my fellow Ravenclaws with Potions though which was the subject many of them worried about the most.

"You can't be perfect at everything," Mandy said one evening. "No one is."

"I know." I did but I still would have liked to achieve good marks in all my subjects.

Neville was extremely worried about the exams as well. "I'll probably fail everything. I simply can't remember what I learn. I don't know how I'm supposed to prepare for the exams."

"Well, you need to repeat it often enough," I said.

It was the only thing I could think of. Neville's potions skills improved but nowhere nearly as quickly as I had hoped they would. His forgetfulness was the most frustrating part of it all. After working with him on several Fridays, I started thinking that this couldn't be normal. Was it possible that something had happened to him which had damaged his memory permanently? If only I knew more about this kind of thing. I really thought he should get professional help with this but I didn't know who could offer this kind of help here in the magical world and I didn't want to offend him. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to know what a professional might find out about Neville. Maybe my parents had tortured the little boy as well to get his parents to talk. After everything I had heard, there wasn't much left I believed they wouldn't do.

Therefore, I kept silent and put up with Neville forgetting his ingredients, searching for him because he didn't remember where we met and telling him everything countless times because he couldn't remember it for a few minutes. His brain seemed like a sieve where most things simply ran through. At least, he had never forgotten the time of our meetings though.

When things went well and Neville did remember what he was supposed to do, he could be quite fun to talk to. In these moments, he reminded me of his father in my photo album. I didn't tell him that though, me talking about his father probably wouldn't go down too well. I was quite sure that Neville didn't want to see a picture of his father playing Quidditch against his future torturer.

"My Gran will be really angry when I fail my exams," Neville said miserably towards the end of our meeting. His attempt at making Cure for Boils on his own had failed once again. There had been no explosion or melted cauldron which was an improvement but the potion had the wrong colour. With the help of one of the books in the room I had been able to salvage the potion by adding some additional ingredients that undid the mistakes. The potion's magic felt right now. This was a useful skill to have if something went wrong with my own potion during my exam. With my growing nervousness, I wasn't sure that this wouldn't happen at all.

I had learned this while working with Neville. At the moment, it looked as if I gained more from these extra lessons than he did. Having to explain everything made me understand it much better myself. This wasn't the plan but there was nothing I could do to make Neville improve more quickly.

"You won't fail. These end-of-term-exams aren't that hard," I told him. "My cousin's told me that almost no one fails. We aren't expected to do it perfectly."

"Well, almost no one might just include me," Neville said. "I don't think there are many people who are as untalented as I am."

"I don't think your magic talent is the problem," I said. "If you started being more self-confident it would surely be better soon."

This was self-fulfilling prophecy of course. As long as he didn't get his work done properly, he didn't think he could get anything done either. A really bad combination for a wizard.

"I don't know. There simply are people who don't have any talent. How old were you when your magic showed for the first time?"

I tried to remember. The magic that caused pain to people that wanted to harm me had already been there when I had arrived at the orphanage. I had done it to some older boys who were pushing me around. I couldn't remember any magic I had done before but I didn't remember that I hadn't done any either. My memories of this time were very incomplete and I didn't want to remember that anymore. Not after everything I knew about the people who had taken care of me back then.

"I'm not sure. The first time I really remember was when I arrived at the orphanage. I was three then."

"You see. I was eight. Eight. Everyone thought I was a Squib and I almost am," Neville said.

"What happened then?" I asked him.

"Well, I fell out of a window, it was an accident. Everyone started to panic but I simply bounced off the ground and didn't get hurt at all."

"That was rather powerful magic though," I said. The growing sense of unease I felt since my illness was back. Neville's magic had shown itself in a normal way too, just like Mandy's. I wondered if there was anyone else who had shown his or her magic by hurting someone else.

This issue reminded me of something else. "I'm sorry Neville but I have to leave now. Detention."

"Did you get into trouble with Snape again?" Neville asked.

I sighed deeply. "No, it's not Snape this time. Professor McGonagall. I messed up in Transfiguration this week."

"And she's putting you in detention for this?" Neville asked surprised. "If she did that with me, I'd be in detention all the time."

"Well, she thinks I'm not taking the things she's telling me seriously enough or something." I really didn't want to go into details.

"It's strange," Neville said. "Professor McGonagall's usually really fair. Not that there's much good to say about me. I'm really rubbish in Transfiguration."

"Stop using this word," I told him. "You'll need to ask someone else for help in Transfiguration though I'm afraid."

"Hermione maybe. I don't really want to waste her time though. She always seems so busy with Harry and Ron. The others already think I'm studying with her when I'm in fact studying with you."

"It's probably better that way," I said remembering Snape's words.

Professor McGonagall unlike Snape was polite enough to respond to my "Good evening." She also held her detention in her office which was in the upper parts of the castle, probably like the Gryffindor rooms as well.

"I want you to copy the first chapter of the Treatise on Ethical Treatment of Animals in Magic," she told me when I had sat down. She put a relatively thick book on her desk in front of me. "I hope you do not intend to follow in your father's footsteps. He had to copy the entire book ten times until he had finished his fourth year here."

I took a deep breath. Her remark about "following in my father's footsteps" had made me feel a jolt in my stomach. I was a bit relieved when I heard the rest though. She wasn't talking about the things he had done later, was she?

"So my father was bad at Transfiguration too?" I asked. The book had eleven chapters which meant that he must have been put in detention for this more than a hundred times. Or maybe he had to copy more than one chapter.

"He has lacked the discipline and diligence to control his magic," Professor McGonagall said. "Preferred to blame other people or said it wasn't his fault. Very strange how these problems suddenly stopped when he decided to make an effort."

"He must have been quite good to be able to become a Healer in the end," I said. Normally, I didn't feel like defending my father anymore and I wasn't going to do it as far as morality was concerned but I wouldn't let Professor McGonagall diminish his talent.

"Rodolphus Lestrange changed profoundly during his time here at Hogwarts," Professor McGonagall said. "He seemed to be a hopeless case as far as wand work was concerned during his first four years but finished Hogwarts with top marks."

I definitely wasn't a hopeless case in anything to do with a wand but Neville definitely felt like that. He wouldn't want my father as a role model of course but my father had proven that it was possible to improve profoundly and make it from hopeless case to Healer.

"The way your magic is made up doesn't make learning very easy," Professor McGonagall said. "You've already done relatively well but I've noticed a decrease in control after the Christmas holidays."

I sighed. "Yes. I've noticed it as well. I had Dragon Pox during the holidays. It was quite bad."

"I see. This kind of disease might hinder your efforts of course. I expect you to practice well so you can undo this effect."

"Yes, Professor," I said. "I've already begun revising for the exams. My classmates who are better in your subject are helping me."

"That's good," Professor McGonagall said. "You should not nurture those darker aspects of your magic or else they might have negative effects on your character. Let me put it that way, in people from your family, the window to the darker parts of the soul seems to be wider open than in most others. You need to make a conscious effort to keep it closed or you will change for the worse."

This was a very nice way of saying that she believed something was wrong with everyone in our family. I didn't respond. It was one of those situations where I simply didn't know enough to judge if she was right or not. Maybe something was wrong with me as well. I didn't really think so though.

I started to write and Professor McGonagall didn't say anything more. I was quite glad about that. I didn't want her to say something which made me angry enough to respond and get myself into even more trouble.

The Easter holidays passed with plenty of revision for everyone. I kept focusing on Transfiguration but I also had to start revising for the theoretical subjects like History of Magic and Astronomy where plenty of facts needed to be memorised.

After the holidays, I at least managed to get through Transfiguration without causing any unwanted side effects. Everything else continued the usual way.

The Hufflepuffs had their last Quidditch match of the season against Slytherin. I put on the yellow scarf again and this time, I wasn't alone. Many of the other Ravenclaws didn't want Slytherin to win the Cup again either. The Hufflepuffs' ruthlessness matched the Slytherins' rather well to everyone's surprise. Dora obviously had had words with the rest of her team. In the end, Hufflepuff won, narrowly but they won. Dora looked very extremely happy when she got off her broom in the end and three quarters of the watching students applauded loudly. The Slytherins looked very disappointed. They had seen Hufflepuff being beaten by Gryffindor easily after all.

Gryffindor was meeting a streak of bad luck as well though. Harry Potter and his friends somehow managed to lose countless points. No one really understood what had happened but they had been caught by Professor McGonagall in the middle of the night. There were some rumours about a dragon. I would have liked to see it, dragons sounded really fascinating. Almost everyone was angry at Potter and the others because it had looked as if Gryffindor was winning the House Cup and now Slytherin was in the lead again as they had been the years before. I didn't comment on this. To me, it didn't really matter if Gryffindor or Slytherin won the House Cup. I wanted Ravenclaw to win. For some reason, the others seemed to be used to the idea that it would be either Gryffindor or Slytherin. Maybe because they were the most competitive or because they were more interested in Quidditch which brought lots of points.

I had never seen Neville that miserable and that was saying something. For some reason, he had been caught out of bed with the others as well. He was extremely ashamed because Professor McGonagall had been so angry with them. "At least, you don't hold it against me," he said miserably. "Everyone's treating me even worse than usual. As if I had something contagious. It's our fault that Gryffindor doesn't win. I'm only ever messing up and I actually wanted to warn them. I knew Malfoy was going to set them up."

He looked close to tears. I knew that he wouldn't get very far with his potions in this state. "Hey, it's only the House Cup. You have six more years where you can win. Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff haven't made it for ages. The others will surely get over it as well." Everything else would be extremely childish.

"Well, let's begin with the potion," Neville said. To my surprise, he did quite well this time and only needed a little bit of help to make an acceptable potion. Maybe trying to focus on something else actually helped in this state.

Back in the common room, Potter's mistake remained the main subject of conversation besides the approaching exams. I was rather annoyed by this, especially because many people started to talk badly about Neville as well. I didn't say anything about it because I wanted to do as Snape had told me but it made me feel like a coward.

Therefore I spent most of my free time alone or with Mandy and the other first-year girls who didn't care about this that much either. Well, with the exception of Padma whose sister was really upset by the great loss of house points for Gryffindor.

The upcoming exams made me more and more nervous myself. The time seemed to pass really quickly and the heap of things to revise didn't seem to get much smaller. The arrangements for the long summer holidays took my mind off this. Mandy had decided to return to the orphanage and visit us towards the end of the holidays. Aunt Andromeda and Uncle Ted would have let her stay but she didn't want to overuse their friendliness. She also wanted to see Aurora and Andy again. I wasn't really sure about this myself. I wanted to see them again as well but I didn't know what to say to them if I did. I couldn't share any of the things I had seen and learned with them. They would tell us about their year and Andy about his new school while I had to keep everything secret. I hated lying to someone I considered a friend and they'd probably notice it as well.

This was why I rather wanted to accept my aunt and uncle's invitation and stay with them for the entire summer. There were many things I wanted to discuss with my aunt and I still had so much to learn. If I stayed completely cut-off from the wizarding world during the summer, I wouldn't really have a chance to get any of this done.

No, my life in the Muggle world was over. By returning to Hogwarts, I had decided this. My family lived in the magical world and I wanted to stay close to them now that I had found them.


	18. Chapter 18 End of Term

**AN:** The cursive parts are taken directly from PS, page 329.

**End of Term**

The exams arrived more quickly than anyone had thought. I had done everything I could think of to prepare properly but I was still very nervous. My own nervousness was nothing compared to Dora's though. Her entire career depended on the marks she'd achieve in her NEWT examinations. I hoped for the best even though I had to admit that I wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea of Dora becoming an Auror. It was an extremely dangerous job and I wasn't sure if I liked what they were doing. I knew now that my parents deserved to be in prison but it would have been possible to use a prison system that was less cruel than Azkaban guarded by the Dementors. I also remembered the fight where my parents had been caught and I had been injured. It had probably been an accident but I still didn't like the idea of Aurors.

The weather was extremely hot as well. Mandy and Lisa predicted that it would surely be cold and rainy again when the holidays finally started. I didn't know about that but now we had to sit our exams in very hot classrooms. There were practical and theoretical exams for every subject, well almost. In History of Magic and Defence Against the Dark Arts there were no practical exams even though it would have made sense in DADA.

For Charms, we had to make a Pineapple tapdance across his desk. Not really the most useful charm we had ever learned but it worked and that was the most important thing. At least as far as I was concerned. The tap dance was a bit too wild because of my nervousness but I didn't think Professor Flitwick minded that too much. He looked quite happy when I left so I hoped I had done alright. He was our Head of House after all.

For Transfiguration, turning a mouse into a snuff box was the thing we were set. I had bad memories of this particular lesson and got very nervous when I started my work. In the end, the snuff box still had fur but at least, the mouse hadn't suffered any pain. I hoped I'd get enough points to pass even though I wasn't sure. Maybe the theoretical part would help me; I had spent lots of time revising for it because I had hoped it might help me get better with the practical work as well.

For Potions, we had to make the Forgetfulness Potion. It was supposed to make the drinker forgetful. I couldn't think of any situation where this could be useful but I was still rather glad that we were assigned this potion. It had been the only one where Neville had been able to sense the magic involved properly. My nervousness was completely gone while I worked on my potion. Preparing the ingredients properly and adding the right amount at the right time required so much concentration that I didn't have time to feel worried. In the end, my potion looked exactly the way it was supposed to be. Potions was the first subject where I was completely certain that I had done well.

I walked out of this exam feeling like bouncing up and down but I kept myself from doing that for the others' sake. Mandy, Padma and Lisa all feared that they might have failed this exam. I didn't feel too sorry for them though. They all had transfigured very pretty snuff boxes without any trace of fur.

Our Herbology exam was about re-potting daisies, not exactly the most difficult thing I had ever done. Draco Malfoy still managed to drop his plant because he had put his hand into the dragon dung fertilizer though. He was lucky though. It survived the fall. I was certain that he would lose points for this though.

The last exam was History of Magic. This wasn't difficult at all because Binns only asked random facts which we had learned by heart. The exam wasn't any more interesting than his class but we were sure that we had all passed. Afterwards, everyone was jubilant because we had finished the exams and could finally enjoy the nice weather. Only Harry Potter looked rather sickly. Maybe he had caught Dragon Pox as well. I was completely healthy again though and my magic seemed to have returned to normal as well. Now we had to wait a week until we got our results and then the holidays would be there. Holidays with the Tonks family. I was really looking forward to this. This time, I wouldn't be ill again I was sure.

The following days were free of lessons or any other obligations. It was still quite warm and sunny so we could spend lots of time outside. No one dared to approach the shady forest though. Dangerous animals were supposed to live there and no Ravenclaw was interested in finding out if this was true. We preferred theoretical research in such cases. Still, I felt quite happy again. The traces of my illness had vanished and I felt as fit as I had before. Most of the marks on my skin were gone as well and I knew I would be immune to Dragon Pox from now on.

Dora let me fly on her broomstick a few times now that she didn't have to practice for Quidditch anymore. It was much more fun than the shaky school brooms and I was looking forward to more flying during the holidays. Maybe there would be a chance for me to get a broom of my own as well. It didn't have to be an expensive one but it was quite possible that they sold second hand brooms as well. My mother probably wouldn't have minded, she had been playing for Slytherin herself after all.

My thoughts of leaving the wizarding world were almost completely forgotten and Mandy too didn't seem to want this anymore. "I do think we belong here now," she said as we were sitting together by the edge of the lake. "Most people don't seem to mind that I'm Muggle-born either. And those who do don't matter that much. Hardly anyone likes the Slytherins and how they win in their unfair way."

"Well, maybe next year, someone else will win," I said. "Maybe us. I'll do my best."

Neville's Potions exam obviously hadn't gone as well as I had hoped. We came across each other behind the Greenhouses where I had walked with Dora's broom after a bit of flying.

"I don't know, I was just too nervous," he said when I asked him about it. "I forgot everything in the practical exam."

I suppressed a sigh. "You were able to make this potion when we practiced," I said. "That means you are able to do it. It's just your nervousness. Maybe it will get better with time."

"I hope so. At least, I think I did okay in the theoretical exam," Neville said.

"Good. That's something. The rest will come in time," I told him. I hoped this was true. The lack of success I had had with my efforts was frustrating but I knew he was trying hard. I just needed to be patient.

"We'll keep this up of course," I told him.

He needed to stop being scared of Snape but I couldn't help him much with that. I had never really feared this teacher but that was probably because I didn't have the bad experiences Neville had. I was used to the idea of teachers being people who were relatively trustworthy and had to live up to certain standards. In the wizarding world, his didn't seem to be a sure thing.

Harry Potter and his friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger ended up in the Hospital Wing severely weakened and Professor Quirrell didn't turn up at mealtime anymore afterwards. No one really knew what had been going on but everyone was talking about it. Madam Pomfrey didn't allow people to go into the Hospital Wing and question Potter which was very sensible in my opinion. If you were ill, you didn't want countless people asking silly questions, I knew this very well.

If the rumours were true, Quirrell had been in league with Voldemort himself and they had attempted to steal a Philosopher's Stone that was hidden in Hogwarts in the forbidden corridor where we had heard the growling noise on our way to Astronomy class. Potter and his friends had gone after them and there had been some sort of fight where Quirrell had died. Mandy and I wanted to believe that these rumours were extremely exaggerated. I knew that it wasn't completely impossible though. Snape had warned me of Voldemort and his supporters. According to him, they weren't gone completely and I was inclined to believe him. Maybe he had even known what was going on with Quirrell. I didn't understand why the teachers hadn't taken care of it themselves in this case though. Boy-Who-Lived or not, children our age weren't supposed to fight for their life. In the Muggle world, this would have been a huge scandal.

I really hoped it wasn't normal here. I didn't feel up to fighting. Defence Against the Dark Arts had been a complete joke. I had learned nothing in this class, well except for the idea that vampires were scared of garlic which I had heard before. Aunt Andromeda didn't have a chance to teach me anything either because I had been ill all holiday. In the summer holidays we weren't supposed to do magic or so I had heard. This meant we wouldn't be able to practice either.

"Next year, we really should try to learn how to defend ourselves better," I said to Mandy. "If the stuff they're saying is true..."

"Yes, you're right. Maybe we'll get a better defence teacher then," Mandy hoped. "Quirrell's obviously gone now and it can't really get worse, can it?"

"Well, I wouldn't be sure about that," I said. "It seems to be really hard to find people for this job. Dora says people believe it is cursed so that everyone can only stay for one year."

"This kind of thing is possible?" Mandy asked.

"I'm not sure. Aunt Andromeda seems to believe it though. That's why she doesn't want to apply herself. She could have done so now that her daughter has finished school but she doesn't want to risk it. She's a Slytherin after all, Dora says."

"Harry is really brave though, isn't he," Mandy asked. "He went to stop You-Know-Who himself even though he didn't have more training than we did. He knew he might die and he still did it."

"Yes. Maybe he thought he could win against him again after he has done it before," I said. I didn't know how Harry Potter had been able to do this. Maybe he had received some special training the rest of us didn't have. Or he really did have some special power. We still didn't really know what was possible with magic.

"I'm not sad about getting away from all of this for a while now," Mandy said. I noticed that this sounded completely different from what she had said two days ago. "A bit of rest and being safe without dangerous things lurking in every corner."

The free days passed surprisingly quickly and soon, the day of the end-of-year-feast had come. The Great Hall was completely decorated in Slytherin colours and a huge banner with the Slytherin serpent was hanging behind the High Table. Snape looked quite satisfied as he sat there.

Most people from other houses weren't very happy about Slytherin's victory and the smug behaviour of the Slytherins didn't make it any better. I had to admit that I did like the colours green and silver and I thought that snakes were rather fascinating animals. At the rare occasions when we went to the zoo with the school or the orphanage, I had spent lots of time watching them. Blue and bronze in the Great Hall would have been even better though and I liked birds of prey much more than snakes. We had visited a falconry once as well and the falcons had really fascinated me. No matter what else, I couldn't complain about my family's heraldic animal. Maybe next year, Ravenclaw would make it.

"Look, Harry Potter's here," Padma whispered to us and looked over at the Gryffindor people. A few others were craning their necks as well to catch a glimpse of the most famous student of the school. I fought my curiosity back. Staring at someone like this was rather rude and he probably felt quite uncomfortable with it.

A few moments later, Professor Dumbledore got up to make his speech. He announced the awarding of the House Cup and read out how many points we had received. Ravenclaw wasn't that far behind Slytherin. The Slytherins broke into applause and cheering when Dumbledore announced their points.

The Headmaster praised the Slytherins rather half-heartedly before announcing that "recent events" had to be taken into account. "He'll give Potter and the others extra-points," Lisa predicted before Dumbledore actually started to do just that.

The Gryffindors broke into wild applause when Ron Weasley was awarded fifty points and it grew even louder when Hermione Granger got the same amount and Harry Potter sixty points. People at our table and at the Hufflepuff table started cheering loudly as well. Slytherin really seemed to be hated. If they all acted like Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle and Parkinson, it wasn't very surprising. The whole thing was really exciting.

"Gryffindor and Slytherin have the same amount of points now!" Mandy had to shout to make me hear this over the noise around us even though we were sitting next to each other.

_Dumbledore raised his hand_. He obviously wanted to say something else. It took a while until people had fallen silent again. Everyone looked at him curiously. Would there be two House Cup winners this year? Maybe this wouldn't be such a bad idea. Gryffindors and Slytherins seemed to really hate each other. Quite possible that the teachers thought they should learn to share.

"_There are all kinds of courage," said Dumbledore, smiling. "It takes a great deal or bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends. I therefore award ten points to Mr Neville Longbottom."_

The noise coming from the Gryffindor table now was almost deafening. I started to clap wildly as well a wide smile on my face. Neville had won the crucial points for his house's victory. Maybe that would finally give him some self-confidence. He probably didn't notice me though with all his fellow Gryffindors trying to hug him.

Dumbledore changed the decoration form Slytherin green and silver to Gryffindor red and gold with a wave of his hand. The serpent was replaced by a lion now. I never understood other people's fascination with these animals but this didn't really matter at the moment. Neville had at least won one final victory and Slytherin unfairness hadn't been successful after all.

The food was as good and luxurious as it had been at the beginning of the year. It had really passed though quickly, I thought. I remembered very well how I had arrived here, knowing nothing about my family and the magical world. Now I knew where I came from and who my parents were even though I would have preferred if it had been different. At least, I also knew that Neville's behaviour towards me hadn't had anything to do with some mistake I had made and we were getting along really well now. I hadn't won any great battles and I didn't do anything brave but I had made it through the school year quite well.

Now I could enjoy the delicious food. The Tonks weren't exactly poor but they couldn't afford this kind of thing.

"I'm not sure what I'm going to tell the others," Mandy said. "They'll probably have so many questions and I can't really tell them anything."

I couldn't really answer this. I had written letters for Andy and Aurora where I told them a few things that sounded safe. I was going to tell Andy that my parents were in prison as well for a crime I didn't want to talk about. This was true even among wizards. I thought he should know that he wasn't the only one suffering this fate though.

When we walked back to our common room after the feast, I saw two girls with snake crests on their robes walking downwards holding hands and crying. I had seen them with Pansy Parkinson but I had never heard them insult others themselves. Both of them were relatively good in Herbology as well.

"It was pretty unfair how Professor Dumbledore did this," I said when we were out of earshot. "He could have awarded the points for Gryffindor earlier so they would have known before the celebration starts. Making them feel as if they had won and taking it away from them was quite mean."

It had been nice for Neville and the Gryffindors but the Slytherins weren't all mean and arrogant people either. Aunt Andromeda had been one of them after all and she was anything but.

"Well, Slytherin has won seven times in a row before," Morag McDougal said. She had an older sister who was in Hogwarts as well. "It was time that someone else finally made it."

The others agreed with that. I still thought that Dumbledore could have handled it differently. "I think it's pretty rough that the Slytherins have to live underground in the dungeons," I said. "No one really likes to live there, do they?"

"The Slytherins do I think," Lisa said. "Their taste is different. "Roger's sister Tracy isn't too happy about it though. She was one of those we just saw by the way. The one with the brown pigtails."

"She's the sister of Roger Davies?" I asked surprised.

"Yes, it's really odd, isn't it? No one understands why she's in Slytherin. She's even a half-blood. At least, they seem to leave her alone."

On the last day, we received our exam results. My nervousness returned but there wasn't really any need. I had passed Transfiguration though only just and I had done fairly well everywhere else. Charms, Herbology and Astronomy were rather good and Professor Snape very quietly informed me that I had been top of the year in Potions. I forced myself to keep my expression neutral as Snape told me so and he gave me an appreciative nod.

Poor Dora had to wait longer for her results though. The NEWTs underwent a rather complicated marking process and she would receive her results per owl during the summer holidays.

"At least, a few free weeks before I have to start to prepare for Auror training," she said. "I'm going to travel around Europe with some friends. Your cousin Roger will come as well."

Oh, so you won't be there at all," I said. I was a bit disappointed by this but it probably wasn't surprising that she wanted to put her free time to a good purpose and see something new.

The train ride home passed without any problems. The Hogwarts Express didn't seem to suffer from the same warmth-induced problems that often caused delays in Muggle trains. Padma and her family were going to visit India during the holidays because their parents wanted them to learn about the magical history of their country of origin. Padma was quite curious about that while Parvati would have preferred some rest over learning about magical history in the holidays.

Lisa and her family wanted to go to Cornwall without any magical goals. She would have preferred to travel abroad as well though. I had never been to another country before but I wasn't sure if I would have wanted to go this year. The magical world still felt like a foreign country to me and there was so much I had to learn about our own magical history before I wanted to face the next new thing.

It was strange how unused I had become to trousers and shirts after so much time spend wearing only robes. In the past, I had never worn anything else, well except for the occasional skirt or dress. At the Tonks', I would be allowed to wear robes most of the time though because we didn't have to interact with Muggles too much.

When we arrived at Platform 9 ¾ lots of parents and relatives were waiting for the students to come home. Mandy was going to be fetched by Ms Leakey who would wait for her on the Muggle platform. It was really nice of her to come here, I thought. Maybe she was curious as well. I didn't know how much she had been told. We hugged each other goodbye and promised to write many letters. The Tonks used the Muggle postal service as well, unlike many other magical families or so Andromeda had told me. Mandy would come to visit us for the last two weeks of the holidays. Then she slipped through the barrier which was now guarded by an elderly man who made sure that there weren't too many people arriving on the Muggle side at the same time.

I went looking for Aunt Andromeda and found her fairly quickly. Tall and proud-looking as she was, she tended to stand out. Dora's pink hair was hard to miss as well.

"Ted didn't get the day off work," she told me. "That's why he couldn't come. Muggles don't take the Hogwarts schedule into account of course."

"Well, we'll see Dad in the evening," Dora said.

We left the platform and blended in with the crowd of Muggles on their way to the trains on the normal platforms.

"Your grandmother sends her regards as well," Andromeda told me. "She wants you to come for a visit during the summer as well. You probably won't get around meeting your extended family then."

"The other Lestranges aren't that bad," Dora said. "Roger's really okay."

"I just hope they don't want Vivien to marry one of her cousins as family tradition demands," Aunt Andromeda said.

I hoped she was simply joking.

The idea of marriage made me rather uncomfortable and I didn't want to look at Andromeda at this moment. While looking around, I caught a quick glimpse of Neville with his grandmother who didn't succeed in dressing like a Muggle very convincingly. Neville quickly waved into our direction when his grandmother was busy looking elsewhere. Andromeda however noticed. "So the relationship between you and Neville Longbottom has improved? How so?"

"Well, we've talked to each other at the hospital and he's actually really nice," I told her. "I tried to help him with Potions but it hasn't helped that much so far. He's always too nervous when Snape's around."

Andromeda coughed. "You're not supposed to mention your subjects here," she whispered to me. "Anyway, I'm glad that you're making an effort there."

We left the station and got into the Tonks' car. In there, she asked me about my exams which I could tell her about without feeling ashamed.

Dora shook her head, grinning. "Top of the year in Potions. Are you really sure we're related?"

"You got an Outstanding there as well, didn't you? Well anyway, it's probably coming from her father's side. The Blacks tended to be more interested in fighting than in Potions."

"She didn't have a chance to show her talent there," Dora said. "Quirrell made sure of that. Did you know he was in league with You-Know-Who?"

The rest of the journey to the Tonks' home was spent discussing the events surrounding the Philosopher's Stone. I kept relatively silent because I didn't know too much about it. I shared the hope that we would get a better DADA-teacher next year though.


	19. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Dora and I were having lots of fun as long as she was there but when she went on her journey, the Tonks' house became rather quiet. Both Ted and Andromeda had to work of course. They couldn't take two months off just like that. They tried their best to arrange their schedule in a way that made sure I had to spend as little time on my own as possible but this didn't always work of course. Other people had children at home as well and they needed to divide the work fairly.

I understood this of course but I wasn't really used to being alone. As far as I could remember, I've had other people around me all the time. At the orphanage, this had often been too much and I had longed for a bit of quiet but now that I had it during the day, I wasn't that happy about it. I wasn't used to do something worthwhile with my time on my own but there were quite a few things I could do here.

Dora had left her broomstick though, this way I could practice in the garden if the weather was good enough. This was fun but it was more fun if someone else was with me.

The rest of the time, I spent reading. The Tonks had many books about all kinds of interesting subjects. Ted even seemed to have a certain interest in Herbology and owned a few books about this subject matter. Andromeda wouldn't let me read the books on advanced curses and other forms of dark magic. She said that she wanted me to learn about these things as well but it wasn't supposed to happen alone and without guidance.

Andromeda also had a subscription for the magical newspaper called the Daily Prophet and a weekly called "The Magical Echo." Both were quite interesting. The Daily Prophet reported the current events while the Echo also had many background articles about various issues in the magical society. It was very helpful to learn even though Aunt Andromeda had told me to take the things written in the papers with a grain of salt.

To my surprise, neither newspaper wrote anything about the events at Hogwarts towards the end of the school year. I would have liked to find out more about this of course. Either, the school was trying to cover this up or occurrences of this kind were so common at Hogwarts that they didn't think they deserved to be mentioned. I wasn't sure which possibility made me less uncomfortable.

Spending so much time on my own gave me plenty of opportunities to think about various things that had been bothering me all through the school year. I wanted to talk to Andromeda about this but every time an opportunity presented itself, it didn't feel right. The things I had to ask made rather awkward as well.

On the last day of Dora's two weeks of travel, Andromeda had a free afternoon once again. The weather wasn't too good, rather cool and rainy. We had tea together when an owl arrived. It carried a letter with the Hogwarts crest, addressed to Miss Nymphadora Tonks.

"Oh, Dora will have her results waiting for her when she comes," Andromeda said while she put the letter on the sideboard.

When we sat down again, we talked about the exams for a short while and I finally brought myself to tell her about the things that had worried me. "Do you believe You-Know-Who and his followers might really be interest in me?" I asked after I had told her about the detention with Snape.

"Well, your parents have been very prominent followers of You-Know-Who," Andromeda said slowly. "If you were living with them, it would be quite likely that he'd try to get you on his side if he ever returned which we don't want to hope. I don't think he will be very interested in you the way things are now though. There are always many people who follow him freely, so I don't think he'd bother with you because of your heritage. I think there would be quite a few things he cared about more. As long as you stay away from the Death Eaters, you should be relatively safe. As safe as anyone else because no one really is if You-Know-Who is powerful."

I hoped she was right. I noted that Aunt Andromeda like Professor Snape considered it possible that Voldemort might return to power which was a worrying thought by itself.

"The other Death Eaters would be very likely to want to persuade you of their way of thinking and life if you got closer to them though," Andromeda continued. "That's why I have to advice strongly against this."

"Yes. I don't intend to get to know any Death Eaters," I said. So far, I hadn't heard anything that implied that there might be something worthwhile about the Death Eaters' beliefs. Voldemort himself tried to kill one-year-olds while his followers tortured people into insanity.

"Normally, I'm inclined to encourage people to always here both sides," Andromeda said as if she had read my mind. "I can't really do so in this case though. That's why I have to warn you away from your other aunt as well. So far, the Malfoys don't seem to have found out about you and I hope it will remain that way. The Lestranges who are left don't have that much to do with them anymore."

"That's okay," I said. I really wasn't interested in getting to know the Malfoys.

"There's no need to be scared but you should be careful," Aunt Andromeda said. "Professor Snape is quite right when he warns you of attracting too much attention. I don't think standing up against his unfair treatment of other students should pose that much of a threat for you though, but with teachers like him, the chance of being successful with this is rather slim. The most dangerous thing would be I think if you showed any talents that are interesting to these people. Extra-ordinary duelling skills or a knack for the dark arts for example. You won't have much of a chance to display the latter at Hogwarts though."

I felt my face go red. "I actually did that already," I said and told her about my "talent" to put people and mice in pain.

Aunt Andromeda looked at me seriously while I stared at my feet.

"Your father's family is known to be unusually talented in any form of magic that has to do with pain," she said. "Your father and his brother aren't the first Lestranges who have been arrested because of torture, far from it. Magic shows itself in this form relatively often among members of your family and many of them did not grow up to use this for ill purposes. The Blacks are no strangers to this kind of thing either. You would probably learn to use the Cruciatus curse far more easily than most other people if you ever tried that."

I took a deep breath. I didn't want to have anything to with this horrible curse that could drive people insane. The idea of learning it didn't appeal to me at all. I told Andromeda so

"I'm glad that you're feeling this way," she said. "The simple presence of an ability does not mean it has to be used or abused. You are free to choose the right thing."

People kept telling me that frequently and it did make me wonder if some of them did have their doubts about that after all. I didn't think this was true in Andromeda's case though.

"So my father had this as well?" I asked. "And that's why he hurt the animals in Transfiguration? Professor McGonagall told me that."

"Yes, he did. His magic was extremely chaotic in the beginning and he couldn't control it properly. Everyone believed he did it on purpose of course including Professor McGonagall. He was shunned by everyone who wasn't a Slytherin during his first years at Hogwarts."

I had no trouble believing that. The other houses tended to side against Slytherin and didn't think highly of people in this house. I hadn't had a civil conversation with any Slytherin student either so far.

"Bella and her friends thought it was funny. They never grasped that he wasn't doing it on purpose to annoy McGonagall either." She shook her head.

"Anyway, the way it looks, you don't seem to have this particular problem or at least not as badly as your father did. Your Charms work seems to be pretty good and you passed Transfiguration as well. The subject is very difficult so it isn't surprising that you're results aren't perfect. You really should keep yourself from using your "talent" if you end up in trouble. Better learn some basic duelling spells like Expelliarmus, body bind, this kind of thing."

"I'll try my best not to do it again," I promised. "Do you know what my father did about his magic problems?"

"Lots of practice and mental discipline, Occlumency, that means, closing your mind and controlling your feelings. This is extremely difficult for someone so young and I'd rather not have you learn it if we can avoid it. As a side effect, it might make you unlearn to feel your emotions properly if you start it too early. I don't think this is a good thing though there are people who'd disagree of course."

That didn't feel like something I wanted to do either. Practice would have to do if it didn't get worse.

"Don't worry about these things too much," Aunt Andromeda told me. "The ability to cause pain isn't evil in itself and you don't have to be ashamed for it. So far, you didn't seem to spend your time imagining how you're torturing people or anything, did you?"

"No, not really. Only once in detention with Snape."

"Snape inspires such feelings in many people including Dora," Andromeda said with a slight smile. "As long as you don't indulge in them... This is something you should avoid of course but at the moment, I'm not worried because of that."

"Thank you," I said. "And thank you for listening to me."

"You don't need to thank me. You're my niece and I'm responsible for you. There's something else I have to discuss with you though while we're at it. At the moment, your magical guardianship lies in the hands of the Ministry. Ted and I would like to assume guardianship for you but only if you agree of course. We've already talked to your grandmother and she agrees. She's not happy about you staying with a Muggle-born-" Andromeda rolled her eyes. "But she doesn't really want to return to Great Britain permanently and take over responsibility for another child after it went so badly wrong with those she had."

I didn't need to think about this for long. "Thank you. Of course I agree. I don't really like the idea of being under the guardianship of the government."

Not after I had heard so much about the bad things this Ministry was doing.

"Good. If this is the case, we will begin with the procedure as soon as possible," Aunt Andromeda said.

I smiled. This way, I was soon going to belong to the Tonks family officially.

I had learned many bad things about my family's past but I had also found out where I came from and most importantly, I had met people who care about me beyond their professional obligation. A year ago, I would have considered any of this completely unrealistic, a far-fetched dream. Now part of this dream had come true which was enough to make up for the nightmarish parts. At least so far.

* * *

Thank you very much to everyone who has read and followed this story. I hope you've liked it.


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